The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[alpha femme]

my people don't accept the refusal of food-- or the wasting of it. if you are offered it, you may ask for a very small portion (which will be huge), and then you must eat it. the level of offence taken at refusal by traditional mexicans is atronomical. i have refused on mf... and it required a tremendous effort and explaination to host and cook.

if you can, look for albondigas soup or something at traditional holiday gatherings. don't eat the corn or potatoes in it, and that should be ok. after, when offered more, rub your stomache, proclaim "muy lleno" and give your happiest smile.

[bikipatra]

my people don't accept the refusal of food-- or the wasting of it. if you are offered it, you may ask for a very small portion (which will be huge), and then you must eat it. the level of offence taken at refusal by traditional mexicans is atronomical. i have refused on mf... and it required a tremendous effort and explaination to host and cook.

Yes, thank you, that was my point. I was speaking of traditional Mexicans not "a million cultures" we may have heard of. It doesn't take an anthropology major to know that not all brown people are alike and cultural traditions cannot be lumped together.

[Lauren]

OMG, Biki, it was by no means meant to be an assault on a culture, nor have I ever implied or intended to "lump" cultures together. If you or anyone somehow thought I was doing that, than please know it couldn't be further from the truth. I was just trying to give Karli the confidence to tackle any situation, there was no underlying assumption beyond that.

I can say that having been on this forum for over a year, I've been witness to many incidents where people's writings were misinterpreted, and I've generally not been part of them. Alas, I guess my time was due. What I was trying to say was that many cultures, including my own, have very very strong opinions about food and eating and etiquette, but that if you're going to do Medifast, you have to be willing to shun some of the traditions, and do what works for you at this time.

And since this is Karli's journal, and the goal is to boost her up and provide tools to tackle certain situations, I was just giving my tools and suggestions, which is stay the course, no deviation. And I still stick by that plan!

So, on that note, Karli, do whatever works best for you, but keep your confidence and your determination, and enjoy the holidays!

Lauren

[bikipatra]

That's fine. You said it was "no big deal" and I think deeply offending people is a big deal. There is a difference in "shunning" traditions of your own people and deliberately and knowingly being disrespectful of others. I guess we just have different values. Edit: OOOPS! I forgot to end with a platitude! Karli-Have a great time in whatever you choose to do. I am just happy that you are now more educated in your choices.

[GucciGoo]

On the other hand, maybe these are white people making this meal and then it IS just a meal.

Do white people not have meaningful meals??? That sounds pretty judgmental.

[bikipatra]

On the other hand, maybe these are white people making this meal and then it IS just a meal.

Do white people not have meaningful meals??? That sounds pretty judgmental.

My quote is out of context. I was referring to this Mexican homemade meal. If traditional Mexicans were making this "special" meal they would likely have feelings about it that traditional Mexicans do. Also, I was quoting Lauren who stated it was "just a meal." In answer to your question, my mother's whole family is white and they think every meal is meaningful.

[FertileMyrtle]

whew!! Is it safe to jump in here? lol I have no culture to speak of, I'm a pretty rootless gypsy, so I cant comment on that. I just wonder Karli, if you can call to RSVP or whatever and quietly mention to the hostess that your doctor has you on a limited diet for blood sugar purposes, so please dont be offended if you only partake in the meats and veggies. I mean, I dont know what the spread is like, but I've found blaming things on doctors is always an easy out.
Aside from the "big fancy meal" topic,I liked what Lauren said about changing our mindset regarding meals in general.
Wishing you the best, Karli.

[nickieluv]

My two cents on the matter, worth considerably less than two actual pennies, follows.

I can completely relate to obsessing about an event where food will be involved. This coming week especially, there will be family gatherings galore and that's the main reason (other than my products probably won't be here) that I'm waiting to start Medifast until after Christmas. It's not that I'm putting my life on hold for these events, but there is a lot of stress involved when well-meaning, or not-so-well-meaning, family members notice you not eating and feel compelled to weigh in on how unhealthy your choices must be (while they scarf down plate after plate and are the picture of health, right?). And I know that's separate from the cultural issues that were being discussed here but it's kind of on the same page.

Karli, I feel your pain in this. And I think Lauren was just trying to desensitize the issue for you and for all of us reading. In a perfect world it would be just that simple, but the truth is that sometimes what you have to do for your health means digging in for a fight or unpleasant reaction. I would be mortified if I had to conspicuously not eat in front of my in-laws next week, and have to field questions about my lastest sure-to-fail diet attempt. They are not very supportive people. I really think I'd rather eat what's there and pick it up the next day than have to deal with the emotional abuse. Of course, that would be the hard part, getting back on the horse.

But, Karli, I hope you are not surrounded by people like that, and that this meal will just be another moment in another day on plan for you. You have the advantage of having lost so much already that you have proof what you are doing works and is worth sticking to, if that should come up in conversation. And it sounded like your husband is VERY supportive and even has come up with a "script" for you to use. You will be fine, strong, and you will make the right choices for you at the moment and live with the consequences, either good or bad. But like you've told me in the past, guilt can have a purpose but don't hang on to it. So whatever happens, enjoy your LIFE, and eating is a pleasurable part of LIFE, so we just can't ever avoid it. Take a deep breath and enjoy your choices.

Charity

[Diana]

Just have your L&G with your lunch, as planned, and get a small salad for dinner, which you can pick at and not face an empty table setting. Or, if you are very concerned, split your L&G into two meals, have a few ounces of protein at each, with some veggies.

Hi, Karli -- you could also do the opposite: small side salad with your student and make conversation the centerpiece, then L&G for dinner. But splitting it is a great idea, too. 1 1/4 c. salad, 2.5 - 3.5 oz of protein. (If it's chicken, that's about half a breast or a thigh and a drumstick.)

Love to you! Looking forward to news of your success!

[bikipatra]

Good luck Karli in whatever you do! I know given your own experience and the wealth of experience from people like Lauren and Diana (and everyone else!) who have lost hundreds of pounds making wise choices you will do just fine! I want to apologize if I offended anyone with my comments or lead the topic astray.

[Karli]

Well, I want to thank people whom have posted in. I appreciate your thoughtfulness toward this situation. There are a lot of thoughts and opinions here, and so I am still digesting some of this, but I have come to some resolutions within myself about all of this.

For one, I do see that a person has a right to really take a stand for what is important to them, regardless of whatever else is going on. And really, it's necessary to be just that tough about it in this life. I think it really is. It's *so* easy to get pushed around by even the smallest things and to let our best intentions go by the wayside because we just don't take them seriously enough to build our strength and courage behind them.

At the same time, I do see that there are cultural challenges, and just plain social eticate in many things (however, some of that is the exact stuff that one cannot be pushed around by if one wishes to really follow through with what's right for them, individually). What I was wondering about in my mind, is whether or not I should just skip out on the event (and then my husband would skip out, too) because I didn't want to be in an uncomfortable situation nor make others uncomfortable.

However, I think tonight will be okay. I don't think it's going to be a complete sit-down meal... I think it will be more buffet style and people will just find seats in random places and eat (and eat, and eat, and drink, and eat, and eat). So, while this has its own challenges, it's not the same challenges I was imagining it would be. I will need to keep myself busy, however. And, my new thing is to use opportunities like this one tonight to build my clientele and my audiences... LOL. So, I will bring business cards and tell people about my upcoming events, subtley, of course .

Anyway, thanks to all and I am feeling pretty good about it all right now. I may do the splitsy thing with my L&G, part during lunch, part this evening. I didn't think about this before, so I appreciate both forms of the suggestion !! I am expecting a fairly smoothe glide into success through the evening. Thanks for your support and encouragement !


Karli

[Karli]

Things went really well yesterday. I found a delicious L&G out yesterday, something I haven't had before : seafood ceasar salad. It was delicious. I weighed in this morning at 174, even. That feels just amazing to me. I also feel affirmed now in my desire to continue on into the 160''s. I know it's the right thing.

Anyway, here's lookin' to a great MF'ing day (hee hee).

8:30 -- caramel nut bar
10:45 -- cream of broccoli
12:30 -- Steamed broccoli and beef
3:30 -- choco shake

[bikipatra]

I am really happy that you are using would could have been a challenging event as a networking opportunity. Congrats! Let us know how it goes!

[Taangrl21]

congrats on the 174 Karli...The 160's are a mere few days ahead...I'm very happy for you.

[Karli]

Thanks Biki, and thanks to you, too, Taangrl.

Well, I thought I would post here before I turn in for the evening. Tonight went fine. There is always a little bit of a stronger pull toward off program foods when one is seeing them and smelling them then when they are nowhere to be found.

I was pretty grouchy before we got to the party because I knew everybody was going to be drinking and eating and that was pretty much the whole point of the gathering... to relax with each other in this way. But, I took with me two choco shakes and we stopped by the store and got some SF jello and diet sodas. I had a supp and a jello before we went in and drank a diet soda out of a margarita glass while we were there. Hubby and I brought a veggie platter and since I ate my entire L&G earlier in the day, I just nibbled on the equivelent of about two stalks of celery during the evening.

Honestly, once again, I didn't feel like I was missing out. I watched people get drunk and happy and eat and eat... but, again, I felt some sense of them missing out on what I was experiencing. I guess I felt a sense of freedom from all of that, and I knew that most of them did not share this same feeling. I am not interested in being snooty or smug about it, but I just find it an interesting observation and experience. It makes me think on some things as I am really preparing mentally for transition and maintenance.

One thing that just kept coming to me was my little Lauren voice, telling me that this evening was just part of a day that is exaclty the same as any other. I eat my supps and my L&G and that's that, that's the program. I feel satisfied with this.

So, a dessert party tomorrow evening, a dessert party Sunday afternoon and then we go to my folks on Wednesday-Monday (where there will be hords of foods and treats all around). Right now, I am feeling pretty good about all of this and I expect it to be fairly smooth sailing.

Cheers to all and wishing you well. I think I might turn in early this evening and continue to treat myself right. Took a nice walk today and drank plenty of water. It all feels good.

Goodnite,
Karli