The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Karli]

Woke up early again today. But I did already step on the scale (though I may go back to bed) and I made it below my ticker . Maybe that should have been my first goal ... I guess I can change it now if I want (I do that with "to do" lists, too, if I end up doing something that was not originally on my list. I will put it on so I can cross it off .. LOL ).


1. Get below my ticker by Sunday Roll call, December 3rd

2. Leave the 80's for good. I would like this to happen by Wednesday morning, Dec 6th.

3. Reach the 60# club by Sunday, December 10th, Roll Call (that would be 177.5 or lower).

4. Reach my former goal weight of 175 by Sunday, December 17th Roll Call.


Right now the weight goals along with the compliance goals seem to be working great for my motivation.

So, number 2, here I come.


Karli

[bikipatra]

Good Luck! I love goal setting!

[Karli]

Thanks, biki .

Okay, meal check in for the day :

7am -- Oatmeal and coffee
10 am -- Bar
1 pm -- soup and pickle
4 pm -- soup (mmmmm)
6 pm -- L&G
8 pm -- choco pudding

[LadyT]

Hi Karli,
Thanks for stopping by my journal and giving me such a warm welcome! We started at almost the same weight, so you are inspiring me to stick with it this time! I wish I could say we are the same height though...lol. I am way shorter (5'-4") so I hope to look taller once I get thinner

Keep up the great work...and thanks again for your comment!

[Karli]

Hi LadyT, hee hee... you are humurous. Thanks for stopping by my journal, you are very thoughtful .


So, this evening hubby and I went to the store and I had an interesting experience.

Hubby went one way and I went the other and when I got to the end of the aisle, I couldn't see him. So, I just kind of wandered off by myself for awhile. I wound my way through each aisle noting the various holiday decor and overflowing pounds of chocolates and candies. It was so strange because, it was as though all of the food and treats just looked like decorations to me. It was not very tempting for a good while.

I kept wandering through the aisles thinking about things and thinking about different ways I used to think toward some of these foods. But then, I would get an impulse to just buy a box of chocolates and eat the entire thing in one breath ! What in the *world* is that ?

When I would get that impulse I would realize somewhere inside me that it makes no sense whatever, but now I am thinking more about it and I wonder what on Earth that impulse is ? I mean, why in the world would I want to sit down with an entire box of chocolates and eat them as though I hadn't eaten anything for months ?? What would that do for me in any way, shape or form ? What would that solve ? Logically, it wouldn't solve a single thing. Yet, the impulse came a few times none-the-less (but from where ?).

I realize that part of it is simply media and advertisements... but, that's not all it is. I just find it incredibly odd, at the moment.

[dede4wd]

Hi Karli,
I was the same way in the store the other day. I usually wander the outer edges of the store...fresh stuff is there...veggies to the end left, meat to the rear etc...

I found myself in the middle of the store. They had their extra halloween candy on sale and their Holiday stuff (hershey's kisses, etc) out. I wondered how I used to wander down "that aisle" and end up with 3-4 bags of...nothing and they'd be gone in two days...why?

What does it solve? Nothing except the need to buy bigger pants. It wasn't because I saw a Hershey's kisses commercial, just that it was there, bagged up and it was cute holiday colors. I don't get kisses anytime anyway? WHY would I want these? I understand...it's odd!

DeDe

[Karli]

I guess it's interesting to take note of because it obviously hasn't seemed too weird to me in the past as I had given into this impulse (or some version of it) numerous (countless ?) times. Isn't it nice to glimpse freedom from it ?

********


5:30 -- caramel nut bar
8:30 -- L&G (went to breaky with the hubby, not sure I had enough green though)
11:30 -- Shake
2 -- MF Oatmeal cookies (thanks Nancy !! )
5 -- MF Oatmeal cookies (thanks Nancy !! hee hee)
7 -- Soup

[Karli]

Well, I had a bit of a wakeup call yesterday evening, and that's exactly how I will treat it. After I ate a day's worth of MF, as I stated just above, I had an extra L&G that started just with one little bite of grilled chicken. A lot of excuses want to come flooding in as to why it was okay and other things, but I know why it happened, and that is not okay.

It happened because I thought I could get away with one secret bite of something that I didn't need... and that lead to me making a meal out of it, that I didn't need. Sure, it's healthy, sure I excersized a bit in the day, sure my L&G for breakfast was a little "iffy" ... but I know in my heart I didn't need the second one. Especially not so soon after I had my soup.

I am being reminded of something I realized before my pause from the program, in that, I just need to accept that I am going to have to keep close watch on my thoughts about food, and how I treat food. That is just a mind-frame I will need to learn to live with. And, though some of the arguments in my head over the last couple of months had been :

"I don't think it's mentally healthy to feel like I can't eat except for on an MF schedule."

"I don't think it's mentally healthy to feel as though a healthy food, like an L&G, is bad for me just because I ate two instead of one."

ha ha... those arguments are even trying to be persuasive to me again right now. But, here is the thing :

I woke up and weighed myself and I was at 183 this morning. Fine, not bad. But, I have been down that road for long enough. The road where I eat a little extra (or a lot extra), excuse it in some form, and then I either don't lose any more weight (and maybe I don't gain any either) or I even gain back a couple of pounds. Then I lose it again only to gain it back again so I can lose it again and so on.

What I did yesterday evening is not that bad in and of itself, and what I weighed this morning is not that bad in and of itself, but being caught in a cycle that I have a feeling of helplessness within is not what I desire, no matter what my excuses try to tell me. And, eating an extra bite... leading to an extra meal, has lead me to that cycle despite my best logic and excuses !! And that's the reality of it all, plain and simple.

So, a new day, a new day, a new day. One day, one meal at a time.


Karli



6 -- caramel nut bar
(7 -- cup o' decaf w/ sf sweetner, a bit of skim & a splash of FF 1/2 1/2)
9 -- Shake
(pickle)
12:30 -- MF oatmeal cookies w/another cup o'coffee
3 -- soup
5:30 -- L&G
8 -- oatmeal

[Serendipity]

Wow, Karli! Your alter ego can be pretty convincing. It almost convinced me! (not really, lol)

[Karli]

Wow, Karli! Your alter ego can be pretty convincing. It almost convinced me! (not really, lol)

Yeah, tell me about it She is often trying to talk me in and out of all sorts of things .

I just have to learn to tell the difference between that voice and the one I really need to listen to (but, I guess that's what life is for ... hee hee).


*off to get a shakin'*

Karli

[dede4wd]

She talks to me too! She tries to convince me that I can have a second yummy bar a day because it IS MF food, so I can do it, right?

Same thing with your extra L & G, it's allowed, so what's the bad! I equate this alter ego (Nikki/Jessica if you watch Heroes!) to the 5-year old telling me I want this toy now now NOW!

It's hard when I'm cheating with "allowed" foods, I try to say, it's not like it's zingers, it's an extra bar or some extra L & G! I know it will slow down my loss, but I didn't care. I'm now telling her to shut up or trying to satiate her with SF Jello or whatever!

I feel your pain!

DeDe

[Karli]

Thanks DeDe, I like your thought about the voice being like a little kid wanting such and such a thing "now ! " ... that is perfect .. hee hee, and actually, I think it will help me sort the voice out and deal with a little better.

Well, on another note, I have been cooking and thinking about cooking all day long and it has helped to keep my mind off of eating... LOL . But really, I have concocted an MF compliant L&G lasanga dinner, whose recipe I will be posting as soon as I eat it and find out whether it's actually worth posting about.

But, I am going to figure out how to do some "potatoe" pancakes, and some kind of baba ganoush with "pan bread" . Having my new gas stove is some serious inspiration for me to cook, but I have been *really* enjoying the challenge of trying to make some tastey MF compliant dishes that feel like they are too good to be true, to me . It seems to bring about more creativity in my cooking imagination.

It kind of reminds me a little of my vegan days. I have realized that it's really okay to *love* cooking, which I do.


Okay, more later (and hopefully with news of tastyness),
Karli

[dede4wd]

Ooh, sounds yummy! Let us know. Makes me feel kind of lame for making a pork chop and broccoli on George! I need to get a bit more adventurous, but I like my simple stuff too!

DeDe

[Karli]

Ooh, sounds yummy! Let us know. Makes me feel kind of lame for making a pork chop and broccoli on George! I need to get a bit more adventurous, but I like my simple stuff too!

DeDe

hee hee... your stove's name George ? That inspires me to name mine. I did name my piano, but have yet to name my stove. Anyway, yeah, I actually normally eat simple stuff. Hubby grills the Lean, I tear up some lettuce into a bowl, put the lean onto the lettuce and serve with salsa and cottage cheese on top (and cilantro).

It's my rendition of a "taco" salad .

[dede4wd]

Nah,
I'm not that creative...my George Foreman Grill is named George!

Tee hee!

DeDe