The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

OK, that was almost a week ago. How are you doing, Karli?

[Karli]

Hi Robin, well, this is day 3, funnily enough ! Yesterday was hard, but each morning when I awake and become conscious of myself, it's like I hear myself taking stock of how I am doing, and what a relief it was to wake up this morning and realize I had stayed the course yesterday !!! It's always such a let down to wake up and realize I had gone off the day/night before and that morning would be day number 1 ... AGAIN. But, no, this is day 3 . Not stepping on the scale just yet and I am not sure when I will, but perhaps after a few more days of being solidly on.

One thing that I feel challenged by right now is being "comfortable" to some respect with where I am already at. I do have little flabby parts of me that I don't like, things could be tighter, skinnier, so on and so forth ... but, I feel relatively comfortable and it's somehow a "big" decision to decide to keep going on to being my thinnest self. That seems to mean this whole thing to me, and I recognize the need to not just get all caught up in that, and instead just move ahead ! Deal with the stuff as I actually take the steps, and not just all in conjecture !

Anyway, thanks for asking .

[Nurcyn]

Hey Karli,

I hear ya' on waking up knowing the day before was right on. I've been doing well, survived the holiday weekend, then blew it last night, lol!! Oh, well. I know what's helping me is that I don't call the next day after I messed up "Day 1" because to me that's so frustrating. After all, after losing 24 so far, I have to have more than 1 day of success, so I'm still calling this Day 37!! Maybe that will help you, too. I hope you're feeling good....it's especially good to hear you're feeling comfortable in your own skin, whether it's tight or loose right now, haha.
Have a GREAT day.....So far I'm on point, with 9 more hours of work to go. Here's to big losses at the end of the week for both of us!!

[oksoonergirl26]

I wish I had your focus and positive outlook. I seem to be having a hard time bouncing back from an "off" day and I am beginning to tire of some my food choices. It could just be the summer "funk" I get in each year. Keep up the good work!

[Stihl]

Hey Karli. I understand what you mean about being comfortable with yourself even if you're big.

I think, to some extent, I've reached that point. I get some looks from girls and people all say that I look much better. I fit into 34 jeans, which is supposedly average for this nation (even a little bit better than average... geez what does it say about this nation's obesity problem?)

Yet I look in the mirror and still see not only the need but possibility for improvement. I can look better and I should look better. I can be healthier and I should be healthier. I can be smaller and I should be smaller.

There are lots of people like us - not terribly obese (anymore!) but not yet in good shape. Some are comfortable with where they are, but they aren't going to be as healthy as they could be. Its one thing to be comfortable with yoru body - that you should always have. But just becuase the body looks okay and you are satisfied with it doesnt mean that your health is okay or that you should be satisfied with it.

While its great to say that you've made tremendous marginal improvement, I know that for me, at least, there's a lot of room to go. Sometimes I wake up and ask myself "Why can't I have that muffin/sandwhich/bagel etc.) But then I remember that I have a goal that needs to be reached, not just for aesthetic appeal but for health.

[Karli]

Cyndi, it actually DOES help to not think of a day after a mess up as a day number 1 again. Not that today could be that ! But, yes, I do see the value in realizing that I am taking steps to change my life, it's just one long stream, and if you look to the right at when I became a member here, you will see that it's been three years for me . But, wow, I have had a lot to learn over this time !! One thing about me though is that I am fairly tenacious, and I won't give up !! When I think back to who I was when I first began MF, I was obviously still me, but had a different concept of myself and my eating challenges, and my life was a lot different in some ways then, too. Because of ways that I have lived in the past, I thought that I was the type of person who could just decide to lose the weight, and then lose it rather instantly. That was actually true in years past, but it was extremely unhealthy the ways that I did it ... and those things took YEARS and some serious tears to break ... I guess I shouldn't be too surprised that it's taken me some time to be learning what I am learning since I ever first discovered MF.

Yes, I see that I am doing this not just for aesthetics, but for health reasons, too. Sometimes it's difficult for me to see the weight I am currently at as an immediate threat on any level, because I look and behave very normally. However, I know there are still some eating issues that are indeed quite unhealthy, and I can attach an immediate correlation between those particular behaviors and an unhealthy experience. I just need to keep re-wiring myself, I think. Where I am attaching healthy behavior with the right things, and unhealthy behavior with the consequences.

Anyway, yesterday was a great day as far as program ... not easy, but I was very good. I would like to be moving full steam ahead ! Thanks for the encouragements .

[Karli]

So, I have realized that I have realized ( ) something pretty important about all of this : I may not have immediate health concerns at this weight, but I can see very clearly that unless I am keeping a pretty good hold on my eating habits, I will just keep gaining weight ... to who knows how much ? That is something I have had a difficult time actually grappling with ! It's not like I just kind of level out at 20 pounds overweight or so ... I just keep going and going and going ... apparently my truest stopping point is 240 ... until I decide "Okay, I've got to do something about this !" ... but, if I became willing to purchase new clothes every time I went up a size, who knows where I would stop ? And, even at the time that I reached 240 and finally decided to give "my friend's diet" a try, what if I didn't know anything about a friend having a great experience with an eating plan at the time ? Maybe I would have kept going then, too, who knows ?

I see that the reality for me is that I really have to learn better eating habits, and I do really want to lose these last 20 pounds for good ... and it really IS for health. I was considered obese at 240 ... and that's a real threat !

It's kind of hard to come to terms with that. That I will just keep gaining and gaining and gaining if I don't be pretty strict. I don't get to actually stuff myself anymore ... that seems sad, which is obviously an indication of some emotional issues to take care of !! It's not like one binge will immediately give me 60 pounds more, but the mentality which suggests to me that it's 'OK' to binge at all, is basically signing me up to weigh whatever my limits can possibly be. In a sense, a single binge might as well put me right back into obesity, as that mentality puts me right on that track ! Anyway, just trying to get this stuff worked out . Cheers !

[edit] I have also changed my ticker back to where I started on this bloody journey ! I remember the day I actually weighed myself, the scale read 237.5, and that's what I had started with when I came here. I need to remember that I have had success ! Yes, I restarted somewhere above 200 again last March, but I think I need to embrace my whole journey !

[Nurcyn]

I agree wholeheartedly Karli. You've made so much progress and done it YOUR way, in YOUR time. I have that limit too; it's always the 260's that send me back on some kind of health kick....but this time I am so determined to see this one through instead of just giving up at 30-35 pounds lost. That's usually when I get bored and fall off the wagon, and creep back up to misery. GREAT JOB....and I hope you're having a good week!! So QUIET around here this week!!!

[Karli]

Me myself and I give a collective "meh" for the day. I'll be back at some point soon to get things hammered out. On the upside, I went ahead and got my hair cut, and I got the cut I like ... nice and short, despite the fact that I could let myself feel pretty fat right now.

Cheers to all and thanks for checking in !

[Stihl]

Hope the haircut went well! I just got one 5 or 6 days ago; its weird how much it changes your self-image.

When I have long, shaggy hair my face, at least I think, looks thinner/better. When I have less hair there's less around my cheeks/head, so my face fat is perhaps more visible (or maybe thats just my percetion...) My mom prefers the shorter hair (but she has to love me no matter what...)

Anyway, hope your weekend goes well. Just keep swimming Karli, you can do it!

[Karli]

The haircut went very well, thanks !!

Well, I'm back, yup !! This is day 1 for me and I just couldn't resist. I don't know what my weight is right now, I know it's higher than I want and I am not sure how much higher. I basically haven't ordered any new MF for the entire Summer, due to finances. I have had some around but haven't had it in me to really stick to plan with the MF I've had. I am starting today despite the fact that I am not sure how this weekend is going to go. I, of course, want to get myself back on and stay on, but we are visiting my folks this weekend and that is almost always very difficult. Not sure how the L/G situation will be and Sunday we are planning to hike all day long ... so, I'm not sure how that will work with MF. I just couldn't wait another day though and decided to start today despite the weekend. I have a new order on the way, full of MF that I really like and some of the new supplements that I SHOULD like and really want to try (puffs and pretzels) ... WAY COOL !! That order should arrive next week and I have enough stuff to get me there, and with the new order on its way, I think I have enough motivation to eat the stuff I don't necessarily love.

What I hate is feeling like I can't start when I actually want to, just because of something like this weekend. It seems there is always something looming ... but, I also HATE getting myself on and getting through the hard stuff, only to get thrown off by something stupid. So, I will take it one day at a time for now. Aside from the hunger and usual getting into ketosis stuff, today and tomorrow shouldn't be too difficult. Saturday should be OK as I will spend most of the day on my own (everybody will kind of be doing their own thing) and will only have to figure out one meal, my L/G ... hopefully. Sunday is the day I am worried most about because that's the big hiking day. My plan right now is to save my single box of crunch bars (the order that kept my BeSlim discount alive) for that day so I have something easy to take with me, and I will eat extra supplements if I really need to. That's my plan, it looks good in typing, and now all I need is the will-power to do it (and not too many obstacles along the way) !

I'll catch up on journals more in-depth soon. Cheers !

[Tawanda]

Welcome back Karli, it is good to hear from you. I'm struggling - but refusing to give up.

[Karli]

Thanks for the welcome, Tawanda ! I refuse to give up as well, and I know we can do it .

As I suspected, this weekend was a challenge. I did OK but went off in the evening on Saturday, stayed off on Sunday and went off in the evening Monday. I had two and a half days on between Thursday, Friday and Saturday though, and even though I had debated whether or not to wait until my new delivery comes, I feel good that I at least went the two and a half days that I did. I kind of decided to start this morning, mainly out of convenience of food and that, coupled with the fact that I naturally don't tend to like much for breakfast, but I just checked on my packages at the UPS site and they are apparently out for delivery today !!! YIP !! That means I am officially on today, and I am truly actually quite thrilled !! I will be heading to Utah in a week and a half, but I don't foresee that being a problem this time. I am going alone (no hubby eating crazy things in front of me), I am only there for the weekend, and I will bring my MF with me. I don't believe there should be much of an outside challenge to me being on program until Thanksgiving, but I am not going to think about that for now. Even by then I should be feeling pretty good about things as far as the weight stuff goes. And, to top it all off, I have put my jeans back on as of today (colder weather now) and that has definitely helped to give me some extra motivation !!

Anyway, I suspect I am a decent amount of weight above my ticker weight -- which was the lowest I had been in quite sometime -- I don't know that I will step on the scale until Sunday, but I am going to aim to actually do so at least by Sunday and adjust my ticker weight as needed.

Cheers to one and all, and now for a spot of tea !

[Karli]

Day 4 underway. I love the new pretzels and puffs, but i am definitely hooked on the pretzels especially at the time-being.

[oksoonergirl26]

I am so glad they decided to create those! I still say that they have the chocolate glaze and the pretzels, so why not add chocolate covered pretzles?