The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Heck, you are practically stronger than MY OWN voices and you're 3000 miles away!!!

By the way - not coming here so as not to put a 'shadow' on things? No way! You know that when you're on, you're on - and if someone else's struggles push you off, you weren't that 'on' to begin with. If anybody loses heart or loses ground around here it's not because of anything someone else posts or doesn't post - unless people are being deliberately mean but when does that happen?

You will have the best day today!! You can do it!!

[Nurcyn]

Oh, girls.

Nobody is alone if they fell off the wagon this week, lol! Throw me on that list, too. I'm not going to hide and pretend I'm doing great...because we all know that there are days where it's just a struggle; sometimes we win, sometimes we lose (or DON'T 'lose'...ha!). Starting the program totally threw TOM off, so when PMS hit for real, so did the STARVING feelings. I couldn't take it! I didn't necessarily eat BAD...a grilled chicken wrap, etc, but there was just no way to beat the hunger that was brought on by hormones. Add to that a rough day in the ER....had to keep a dying 30 year old mom of 4 alive, to no avail. Very emotional day....consoled with gummy bears *sigh*. I just decided to give my body protein and veggies and healthy snacks just until TOM really gets started and I feel better...usually about 2 days. So I'm thinking by Monday, I'll be feeling myself again and get back on track....big time, while I've got 28-or-so days until things get rough again! So GLAD I have this forum to vent, share and go through ups and downs with everyone.

We'll be VICTORIOUS, Karli.....we just CANNOT give up when the rough times and the occasional bad days come. Just get back on the horse and go with it!!

[Nurcyn]

Heck, you are practically stronger than MY OWN voices and you're 3000 miles away!!!

By the way - not coming here so as not to put a 'shadow' on things? No way! You know that when you're on, you're on - and if someone else's struggles push you off, you weren't that 'on' to begin with. If anybody loses heart or loses ground around here it's not because of anything someone else posts or doesn't post - unless people are being deliberately mean but when does that happen?

You will have the best day today!! You can do it!!

NICKIELUV'S DOWN OVER 9 POUNDS!! GO GIRL!!

[Karli]

Thanks Ladies, well, I think I just have to say "okay, here is my silly thing that happens ... my freak out session ... now let's nip it in the bud and move along !" and then actually move along.

I will admit, I realized later today that I guess I am pretty much freaking out about these decisions in my life right now. They just seem huge and scary and what if I fail ?? What if I amount to being a nobody ? I know, those are silly things, but part of the lure with singing has been all the hype that people have built up around me doing it. And, I am choosing NOT to do that. I am actually choosing something that people around here seem to feel no hype over at all ... which, is just perfect in some ways as I like to kind of slip into things when people aren't really paying attention. But, you know, I had to go two states over to find the right teacher for me, to find somebody who knows what to do with me and seems to actually believe in me !! Ah, I don't know. This whole last year has been 'about' me releasing everything from the past, and it really seems like everything, and starting to inch my way forward. From here, it's going to be me from my core, and that's ... really freaky. I mean, REALLY freaky !!!! What if I get super hurt doing this ?

Those are just a bunch of thoughts and what ifs swimming through my head. I don't want to make any promises about tomorrow being overall successful on program, but I can certainly start with it, I know that much. And, I think I need to take a step back from what seems like myself and realize, okay, there is the freaking out, there is the being scared to have less fat protecting me from the world, there is fear of the unknown, there is the thought that I don't want to be on program ... so what ? Then eat my suppies every 2-3 hours, just like I know how to do !! I need to trust that as I take the steps and work through the stuff, I will find the satisfaction and fulfillment in doing so !

[Karli]

Yippy, I can post !! Cyndi, I am posting in my own journal so I don't clutter yours with my progress for the day, but I'm hoping you will read this ! Today is going really well so far, I just had my L/G as my third meal for the day. I haven't been faced with too many hungries really, but sometimes that's just because of the fact that my system still has food in it from the day before (heh), and those hungries don't really hit until day 2 ... tomorrow (which WILL be day two, darn it !). Anyway, I am feeling pretty good and motivated and I hope you are truckin' along as well !

Cheers to you and cheers to all !

[nickieluv]

I hope your Monday was day 2 and was terrific. Boards are back up (for good I hope) so no excuses for staying away.

[Karli]

Hi Nickie, thanks for checking in! Yes, this is day 2 and it's going surprisingly well! One catch is that my mom is here right now, she totally doesn't get the program, we are about to watch a rented movie, and there is about to be a plethera of movie-watching snacks here. I came here to check in and possibly find some inspiration, and I very much appreciate your post, Nickie! I'm going to be reading people's journals for more inspiration, but I may not post a bunch more at the time. Cheers to all!

[nickieluv]

Your posts will be missed, but you do what works for you. Movie snacks are hard to avoid - have any soy crisps in the cupboard? Of course it's way past movie time now, but that and a diet soda can feel like a movie treat to me. Or a bar, if it's time for a 'real' meal. Have a great day 3!

[Nurcyn]

Hey Karli!!

Great to hear you're cruisin! I got back on plan Sunday, like we said, and even with it being a night shift, and my exhaustion during the day yesterday, I stayed on plan perfectly, so today is day 3 in a row. Had gained 4 pounds, some of it the bad eating, probably most of it the TOM water weight, because I woke up today and had lost 5 pounds between yesterday and today, so now I'm down a total of 15!! Feeling good now...also exercised for the first time on plan yesterday. Got the Zumba DVD's....SO FUN. Keep us posted...and keep cruisin!!!

[Karli]

Hi Cyndi, thanks !

Well, yesterday evening I survived another movie night with munchies abound. Last night was more difficult for some reason, but I managed without a nibble so today is apparently day 4. I know TOM is very near so I seem to be having cravings something fierce, but I have made it through TOM on program plenty of times in the past, so I know I can do it again !

Sometimes it's tempting to take a nibble here or there, or to think I can choose to have a meal off or so, and then get back on after that. I haven't done that these past few days because I have realized that I am in no position to do so. When I look at the bigger picture, in reality I have been off more than on (hence the extra weight), and even if I have a string of days that are on, it's not the same as somebody who is rockin' the program for the first time and has a slip once or twice while taking the journey. I am not that person anymore ! I very much know better, I am starting to know very well how I respond to various things, and as I said before, I know that overall I have been off more than on. What that all means to me is that if I have a voice trying to tell me that it's okay for me to decide to go off for a meal or for a munch, it's just the BS monster speaking and I need to not listen !

Yes, today is day 4. I am basically forcing myself to be on despite my extreme munchies and despite the fact that a large portion of me thinks I don't really want to be on. That same part of me tries to tell me I would rather just sit on the couch and eat to my heart's content (which, my heart is never actually content !) ... it always ends the same way though, and I KNOW it ! We have a wedding to attend this weekend, but in some ways I can't even look that far ahead. I am still very much one day at a time, one supplement at a time. In the long run, if I can manage to make this time stick and reach my goal, my little voyage off for a few days last week won't matter too much, really. But, it's not been easy to get myself back on, it's been a bit of a fight actually, and in reality, getting thinner from here will be the first time I have visited this low of a weight in months upon months ! I deserve nothing but treating myself to some quality time being consistently ON program.

Okay. Cheers to all !

[DogMa]

Yay for day 4!!

[nickieluv]

Sometimes it's really hard to remember that being on program is the treat, not the other foods. I am just starting to get back the excitement of watching for a scale drop - my enthusiasm has been pretty low. So I know how you're feeling about forcing yourself to be on when you really just don't think you want to be - that was me yesterday. But today is a new day and I'm feeling tons better, so hang on today and maybe tomorrow you'll have your excitement back, too!

[Nurcyn]

Hey Karli!

Just wanted to check in with you. I rocked this week, up until the cookie I just had....but I got right back on track and did NOT blow the whole day just because of a cookie! I lost 4 more pounds this week, so I can't complain!! Hope you're cruising along!!

[Karli]

Hi ladies, thanks for checking in !

Well, I am certainly not cruising, or at least I haven't been. I haven't been binging, which is good, but I went off last Thursday and have been off until today. And, today was a planned day to get back on and I am determined, motivated, and confident about it all. I got through my mom being here for a week, which is a really big deal because that means I couldn't practice (bringing some stress and nervousness there) and she also doesn't quite 'get' the program and is always suggesting alternatives ... as though I have never thought of anything else myself. I do love her, but ... heh. Then the weekend brought my cousin's wedding where I saw the whole fam. It was really good to see everyone, but there was of course a bunch of food around (though the wedding dinner COULD have provided a very normal L/G for me). AND TOM was this weekend ... so, yes, I did partake, though I never once actually overdid it in terms of stuffing myself. I don't have any desire to try to feel proud of myself because ... I don't need it right now, but I'm not going to beat myself up either. It's just very time for me to truly be back on !! No excuses !!

So, today, as planned, I am on. I realized last week actually, while I was on for several days despite feeling like I didn't want to be, that I CAN actually "force" myself to be on. Yes, I did end up throwing in the towel, but I realize I didn't have to ... I just did. That was a bit of a revelation for me. I don't HAVE to be "in the mood for MF" ... I can just choose to be on. I realized last week that I was forcing myself to be on, and kind of waiting for the moment when something clicked and I was just stoked to be on. I didn't give it enough time but have realized that when a person does give it enough time, eventually that click does come.

Anyway, onward march here ! Cheers !

[Karli]

Perfect day yesterday, day 2 today.