thanks for the support!
i'm going a little nutters though. i don't have my meals at the correct intervals. my sleeping habits are terrible.
today i had two MF bars and missed out on one of the 5-1 plan. i had my L&G and it was really tastey. the problem is that i remain hungry after i eat.
i want this hunger to stop. i'm finding myself being ruled over my stomach! my stomach is
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evil
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.
i miss eating what i want. i ate a lot of the RIGHT stuff, but then i'd go out and eat chocolate. before i went on MF i gave-in and got some ice cream. it was so good. it felt like my last meal. a sad moment indeed.
i am happiest when i can eat. thoughts of eating make me thrilled. it's also the reason i hate myself. it's the reason i've become huge. it's the reason i'm scared to leave the house. it's the reason i STOPPED going to the gym.
well, one of the reasons.
i've been drinking far too much diet Coke w/ lime. i just need to keep myself from feeling hungry all the time. i drink water and feel sick when it gets to be too much. my stomach sloshes with the water. i don't like it.
i wish i didn't like textures. i wish i didn't use food as a crutch.
i wish i could go to bed not hungry.
start date: June 12, 2006
start weight: 260
new start date: May 14, 2008
current weight: 260
goal weight: 160
height: 5'7"
back on medifast, again, and ready to kick it into gear!
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