The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

I'm having one of those days where I just sort of want to babble about things, so bear with me and feel free to abandon ship halfway through if you can't stand anymore--LOL!

I've noticed an odd thing, now that I'm actually paying attention to my body and weight loss. The weeks when I don't lose anything on the scale, I seem to be able to detect a noticeable difference in my clothing. My unders are too big, the thighs of my jeans are slack, my shirts seem floppy and foreign. We won't even discuss how many times a day I have to yank my bra straps back into place. On the weeks when I do have a sizeable loss, there seems to be no change in the way my clothes fit. I am assuming this has to do with that "adjustment" phase after fat loss that I've read about, when the body is redistributing the fat you have left, but I find it interesting and find myself paying even MORE attention to it, just to observe it all.

Another victory I wanted to post about was that over the Labor Day weekend, we took our kids and my sister's kids to a local playground and I always dress my kids in the same color shirt when we go there, because it makes it easy to spot them from my perch on the picnic table or bench...a quick glance tells me all three blue or yellow or red shirts are accounted for and I don't have to be out there risking death by sticking my head up the slide looking for them.
At any rate, I only own ONE yellow shirt, and it has been too small for a year--I pulled it out that day, tried it on, and it was a bit pinchy in the belly--I asked hubby and he said, "Maybe...ummm, well maybe pick a different one." LOL
Love that man.
Anyhow, I did, and went on, and then last weekend we were headed to the same playground, so I outfitted the mini-me's with yellow shirts and went to dress myself. I came across my yellow shirt--tried it on--and it looks GREAT! I mean it fits WELL and is comfortable, not tight, no pullying across the belly, nothing!
It just made my day.
I feel so good I think I'll go buy some new LITTLE unders today! LOL

Susanna

[Sylvia]

Susanna,

Very Interesting - I've noticed the same thing. I usually notice my clothes feeling different during times the scale is stalled. I just view it as motivation to keep going!

S

[explorthis]

Yes, this happened to me. Clothes would feel looser, but would not see a significant drop for that week, though mine was pretty consistent….

Now, interesting, I have pretty much settled into the normal size world, my co-workers just know me as Mike. I still get the occasional “you still loosing”? I am loosing that 11 pound gain as fast as I can – my clothes feel different. Before, 300+ who cares, I did not feel a diff. Crap was crap; I did not notice 5-10 or 20 pound gains. NOW – 11 pounds, not only try’s on me mentally, but I can easily tell in my clothes that I am carrying extra weight. So today, I am wearing my normal “Dockers” attire, and I get a comment from one of the Management: Man Mike, you look like your loosing more weight!! What?????? I am 11 pounds heavier, and I look like I am loosing weight? (Never said any of this, but I thought it)

I asked hubby and he said, "Maybe...ummm, well maybe pick a different one." LOL Love that man.

Susanna, your hubby is pretty normal. Worst thing a Woman can ever ask an unsuspecting hubby: Do I look fat in this? (Shall I begin the divorce papers now?)

-Mike

[elle4nelly]

(Shall I begin the divorce papers now?)

??? You men are way too funny!! It's that little boy in all of you that's scared to disappoint Mummy!! Last night I had some crap on…can’t even tell you what it looked like other than I didn’t like it. My brother sees me and says” Nice Blouse”????? I thought he had too many beers. Cut me a break!! I looked like a cross between a 200 lbs Bat and a sorcerer!!!!!!!!!! It had bell sleeves and some wild pattern????

But yeah, I go through the same thing too. The weeks I don’t record any loss on the scale I usually do in my clothing. I attribute this in my case to the weight lifting which makes your lean body mass go up while your fat goes down. And since muscle weight more but is more compact than fat, then I guess on these weeks…That’s what happens to me. Either that of pure water retention and I have been know to retain upward of 10 lbs of water. And some days...drinking that water is truly rough!!!!!!!

[Nancy]

Hey, Guys! Don't you find it interesting how people watch your waistline so much now?

Did they ever say before you lost weight, "Gosh, Mike, it looks like you've been slammin' back a few - your pants and shirt are tighter, Man!"

How's this - didja ever get this one? "Susanna, I noticed that you have an extra roll around your middle and your back fat is oozing out around your bra. I think you need a bra extender there, Girl!"

Or Elley, "your blouse sure looks lousy with your belly so bloated!"

People are funny - when I was losing, very few of the women in my immediate office area said ONE positive word about my weight loss. The first inquiries came from men, then later from women in other departments.

Why do we allow other people's comments and opinions to have so much control over us?
Yeah, I STILL make Terry and Unca cwazy - I ALWAYS ask them, "Does this make me look fat?" Unca is brutally honest. I LOVE it! Sometimes I need to be told - that is not your best look, or you look like you are putting on a few...

Terry had a surprise 'retirement' party for me Sunday afternoon and there were several people in attendance that know me from my FLABulous days and some who only know me from my FABulous days.

I baked and brought two pies - a coconut cream with a mile high meringue topper and a Sour Cream Lemon with Real Live Whipping Cream topping. (I did not have a clue it was going to be a party for moi, I thought I was going to a 'regular' barbecue...)

A man brought a berry cobbler, too. Oh, it was warm from the oven!

Well, Kids, you know how much Leopard Woman loves pie...

I had some of each.

Okay, I had a lot of each! It was very fun for me to watch the audience watch me. Their eyes grew huge as I helped myself to lunch and dessert.

I had salad, a spoonful of potato salad, a very small piece of chicken, veggies and desserts. I did not have ice cream, olives, chips, etc.

I got a few retirement gifts - whee! I love presents! I got a kitchen BROOM with a leopard print handle! Can you believe that? What a hoot!

Terry gave me a beautiful pair of gold earrings and a leopard print bathing suit!

There was a comment from the gallery - "if you have more pie, that new suit won't fit!" Argh! Don'tcha just HATE that?

I didn't remind them that if they ate another helping of tater salad their jeans wouldn't zip!

Some people wanted me to try on my bathing suit. Now would YOU want to put on a bathing suit and walk into a room of people wearing regular clothes?

Leopard Woman is kind of "out there" but she does have a sense of modesty!

I put on my leopardy suit and pulled on my slacks over the suit and came out...I'll be wearing that suit a lot in the next few weeks on our vacation so I will lay off the pie and berry cobbler for the rest of this week.

It DOES bug the puckies outta me when people constantly monitor my food intake!

I really try to look at it from a positive viewpoint - they are amazed at my success and for the most part, they genuinely want me to continue to BE successful - except for those few jealous donkey-hearted hussies, that is!

[DutchChoc]

This is a great and inspiring idea -- gives me something to possibly enjoy at times when it seems not much is happening. Thanks, Susanna! Glad your "yellows" are coming in handy. Kind of shocking when something goes on well when our memories remember it differently. What? This isn't still tight/too small, etc?

Re the monitoring, the first time my sig. other saw me chewing sugarless gum he said, "WHAT YOU EATING?!!!" as though I was sneaking something after weeks of not doing any chewing. What's to chew on a shake, lol? I have to assume that he was relieved to know that I was not off the wagon. Strange from a man who said I'd look like an old lady who had nothing to offer, as he put it, if I went on a program and lost weight. I have to tell you that his opinion has changed - he doesn't harp anymore about me looking unhealthy as though malnourished, like he thought I would. If anything, he's happy most of the time that I'm happy -- except for the one comment that my new bra looks like a training bra. WELL, some people just have to get their stupid thoughts expressed, I guess!!?

In general, beyond even one doubt, this is a winning project for each and every one of us... so let's enjoy it.

[Nancy]

Re: Training bras...


I find that nearly ALL of the bras these days have "little helpers" in there. Have ya noticed that some of the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders look like there is STILL a person in them when they are hanging on the hanger?

Tell your S.O. that the ones he sees are probably all fake. Besides, those that are doing the will end up with 'em down to their belly button someday...

I have to really hunt to find a plain old fashioned bra with no shoulder pads/kitchen sponges in them - hey! Now we know what happened to those mega shoulder pads of the 90's! They stuffed 'em inside flopper stoppers!

I wouldn't worry too much about losin' the woadies. I know that mine made a major decline but it just makes it so much easier when you have one of those mammo-squeezer tests.

Before I went on Medifast and lost mine, the technician would have to use a larger platform and kept getting false readings. My woadies were so dense that the techs couldn't tell if I had tumors or flabbors. The last time I went I had five or six squeezes on EACH woady. Whoa, my woadies were hurtin' for certain! A number of times I had to go in for ultra sounds to be sure there wasn't anything mean goin' on inside of my woadies.

Today was a breeze! There are advantages to being a member of the "itty bitty committee!"

Today's screening went very well

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Talking about people commenting on your weight, my boss at my first job used to try to get me to eat all kinds of goodies he and others brought in. I would say, "No thanks, I'm on a diet." He'd always say, "I'm a weight watcher, and you're about the right weight I like to watch". He was sort of a Groucho Marx kind of guy, very fun, but probably would be sued for harrassment on the job these days.

Nancy, Congratulations on your retirement. You're a card putting on your bathing suit over your clothes. They will surely miss you. A broom? That's an interesting gift - my girlfriend has a bumper sticker on her car that reads "My other car is a broom." Even though you have an Elvira Gulch (Wicked Witch of the West) bike, that doesn't apply to you. You're our Glinda (Good Witch of the North).

Camille

[DutchChoc]

Yeah, Nancy, congratulations. I'll bit you miss the little whippersnappers and I know you were a positive influence in hundreds of lives like you are here for us. Must've been a fun thing to be surprised like that, too. I remember once when I was 16 or so, and fat, my friends tried having a surprise party for me at my house and I was in such a funk about being fat that I didn't even have fun or appreciate it. It was "one of those days", and my mom was so disappointed that she nearly had to order me to clean up/dress up because people were coming over.

Re the squeeze stuff -- lol. I can probably go paper-thin now!! And it's prime time I go through that drill when I think about it. Yes, small is fine with me, actually. I think slender all over is great-looking and what I think of as youthful. I'm still not thinking of myself when I say that, but of celebrities, models, etc who have chosen to keep themselves natural. The big look does not attract me -- nor should it, I'm sure. I'm fairly well intimidated and embarrased when it's obvious and unavoidable on others, as in "in my face". WILL NOT look the girl in the eye, that's certain, kinda keep my eyes downcast.

[Nancy]

Dutch,

As you described your Fat Funk at the time you were 16, many of us can relate to that as adults. Until I lost some weight, I did not realize how paralyzing my flab had been to me. Oh, I knew that it was limiting me but I had NO IDEA how limiting until I lost most of it.

I see many young people that are over weight and it grieves me to think of how much of life, of the social interaction and physical activities they are missing. Their life could be so different at a normal weight. When we consider the limitations that occur, there could be some extremely talented individuals that are not exercising their giftedness because of their self-imposed ‘fat exile’ and they are not only robbing themselves of the enjoyment of life but robbing us – the public of their talents, too.

There are most likely some painters, singers, dancers, writers, illustrators, baseball players, basketball players, etc. hiding in their darkened homes or rooms because their self-esteem is at ground zero and they cannot force themselves to enter into the mainstream of society and publicly share their talents with us!

[DutchChoc]

Yup, you said all that so well. It's tragic when such things as weight and self-esteem curtail lives and route them in directions that don't involve using gifts and talents. I'd say because of my fat and my self-esteem issues, I dropped out of a 4-yr academic scholarship program in the first quarter of college and got married to the first guy -- and not a college student!! -- who dated me. Unfortunately, Mom used to tell me -- "You'll never have a boyfriend (looking like I did, she meant)." Guess when I found one, I didn't want him to get away, blah, blah, long fork in the road I took!

Rather than discovering the limitations I'd had when losing it, I feel like I've been bedraggled by the knowledge the whole time of what it did to me. However, as you say, this is feeling better than usual and "how I was before" is becoming a different kind of clear and obvious. I'm crossing fingers and toes to avoid going there again.

[explorthis]

Nancy: I see many young people that are over weight and it grieves me to think of how much of life, of the social interaction and physical activities they are missing. Their life could be so different at a normal weight.

Interesting point, something I see, and now watch every minute of every day. Now I am on the other side of the fence, and look at everyone, and how they act, how they look. No I am not grading, just watching, and taking a true interest for the first time in my life.

2 days a week in the afternoons I pick up my tween from Cheerleading practice, yes, she is the anorexic always eating (healthily I might add) 13 year old all leg girl (Oh I am in trouble). Yesterday, I got to the school about 15 minutes early, and sat in front of the school as it let out, and was people watching in general (I love this by the way). As most were gone, and the commotion settled down, a few more stragglers came out, one stuck in my mind. (These are 7th and 8th graders) A Hispanic boy with glasses comes out, and has to muster himself up the stairs to the sidewalk. (He was probably 12 or 13) He was about 40 pounds (my guess) overweight. I saw myself in him. I was in sunglasses, so the kids could not see me looking directly in their direction. He was huffing a little; as it was pretty obvious he was out of shape. He had on a tight polo shirt, completely non-flattering to him, it was too short. Additionally, it was an in style type of shirt, and either his Mom/Dad did not know what size he wore, or there was not a “husky” size to fit him. He had to sit down on the concrete slabs in front of the school, fully conscious of his weak state, carefully trying to conceal he was out of breath. Oh I know, because this used to be me. I was watching his every move, over this 10-15 minute period.

His sister (so I guessed) came out about 5 mins after he was waiting for him, and said she had to hurry and get home, “lets run” He paused for a minute, still in the presence of probably 6 or so classmates, hoping to come up with a quick “out”. After about 5 seconds, he said something to the effect “uh, I forgot my paper in class – I will catch up – go ahead”. He and the others still had no idea I was watching. She paused, and started her fast walk, I watched him walk back down the stairs, stop before the door, pause, turn around and go back to peek around the corner to see if she was out of view. Obviously he had no paper to retrieve; he was terrified of having to run, because he could not. Once he saw her gone, he hobbled back up the stairs, now more out of breath (remember he is only 12 or 13) and begin his labored walk down the sidewalk.

Alix came out and we were on our way.

Just broke my heart, seeing him, as this was ME! I just wish I could have done something. Anything – like waking his Mom up and telling her to fix this before it becomes a life of misery…….

ARGHHHHHHHHHHH.

[elle4nelly]

That is soooo sad!!
I just can't stand it at all. I'm not even at goal yet BUT I won't let anyone in my entourage get Fat. One of my brothers had gained a good 30 lbs and at 33 he has been very slim ALL his life. I didn't give him a break at all. I kept telling him don't get here where I am Buddy...It's pure misery!!!!!!!! I know because I was THIN all my life until a few years ago where 10 lbs turned to 20 then 100lbs over weight. I KNOW FIRST hand what the quality of my life is at 123lbs and what it has sadly become at 220 lbs!!!
I went as far as buying him Men's Fitness Magazine and Dumbbells...I wanted him to NOT get here where I was. After a few months it sunk in...He started running and cutting crap out. He lost all of it plus more in less than 2 months and I haven't seen him gain a thing in over a year!
His daughter (My little Niece) was chunking up a bit too...I kept telling her to get into sports, because it is good for little girls self esteem. At that Age, they are sensitive and you don't want them to think you don't love them because they're chunky. So I went at it from the sports and benefit of it angle. It worked!!! She got into soccer in the fall and basketball in the spring. Her coach was big on Drink up your water. Stop the Soda thing, eat healthy breakfast....Basically her coach was a Health nut!!
Today my niece is 13 and very thin! She's also all legs...but luckily for us...she finds boys Dumb and annoying...My brother and I hope it stays this way till she's 30. Just kidding!
But Anyway, AS long as I live, I will never give a break to a love one about health and maintaining a slim weight. NEVER!
I got my dad to fall in love with a Treadmill. He's always been thin. Now, I'm working on my mom...
I just couldn't leave with my self watching someone I know auto-destruct themselves in Fat Ville!!

Being Fat is not healthy and just so not Fun!!
Can't wait to be out of here!!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!

Nelly

[Carrie]

Ugh, you're breakin' my heart Mike.

I wasn't overweight as a child, but I can relate to that kid. I live the adult version of it. I don't go with my friends to the beach, haven't learned to scuba dive, don't go kayaking when they do, etc, etc. Until recently I wouldn't ride my bike, but now I zip around the island like I'm a kid again. I've said it before and I'll say it again, being fat is being in a prison cell. The horrifying thing is that *WE* are the ones that put us there. I built this cell, and only I can deconstruct it.

The things we're doing to soothe or medicate our lives (eating eating eating) is a false friend. It may comfort us for the moment it is on our lips, but from there on out it is only bringing us misery and creating a much bigger problem than the one we're trying to solve by eating.

I know this boy is lonely. So he eats. He gains more weight, further ostracizing himself from his peers. Even lonelier. Eat more.

It has to stop. The cycle has to be broken by each one of us. For years I chose the self-imposed prison of being fat. I gave in to the siren song of food and let it be my friend, confidant, comfort - even though it was repaying me by creating an obese, deeply unhappy person. I stuffed food into my body, trying to fill my empty heart. My heart stayed empty, I ate more. The eating ostracized me from my family, and my peers. I ate in secret, I hid stashs of food, I planned where my next binge was coming from. I withdrew even more, felt even emptier, ate even more. I felt out of control, felt that I could not stop eating. But it was always and is only my choice to make.

For the last 7 months I have been choosing, over and over again, to be free of that prison. I will make this decision as many times as I have to until I am free of the prison. This food does not fill my empty heart, but I can do that too, if I chose to.

I think I get lost in the daily drudgery of trying to lose weight. I get depressed by the details. Like right now none of my clothes really fit - some are too big, some are too small. I forget that this isn't about today, or my baggy pants, or the fact that some chocolate would be really good right now. This is about my very heart and soul. Healing my soul of the wound of HAVING BEEN FAT. About loving myself enough to lose the weight and allow the healing of the woman in me that has been hiding, ostracized from the world. That's my bottom line.

Carrie

[Sylvia]

Nelly and Mike,

I couldn't agree more. I have two kids (1 and almost 4) and am really concerned about their health and weight. It's amazing how easy it is for them to fall into really bad eating habits. I am getting the older one into gymnastics, dance and swimming and trying to do things like limit her juice intake, etc., but with so much crap so easily available, it's a challenge.

Fortunately, at that age, they don't have as many social issues with food, so they can be persuaded they like things that will probably be uncool in a few years. My older daughter loves MF bars and I'll let her have one for a snack occasionally. She thinks she's getting a huge treat!

It is also really frustrating that when you go out to eat, all of the kid meals are fried or otherwise unhealthy foods. On the rare occasions we do go to a fast food place, I always try to make healthy selections for them (like they split a grilled chicken sandwich and a baked potato or salad), but you can't get those things as a kids meal with a cool little toy, etc.

Anyway, don't really know what point I'm trying to make here other than to say I agree that being overweight as a kid is a huge tragedy. It is such a vulnerable time anyway that adding the extra burden being fat brings to life is just too much. I am constantly looking at my kids to see if I think they're getting chunky (the baby is actually HUGE but very tall so she is in the same percentile for height and weight - proportional, I guess but she eats A LOT). I am also always trying to improve what the family eats for both health and weight reasons.

S