The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[jump4joy]

I love this idea! Now I can satisfy my curiosity about the friends who post here and learn their stories. I'll be posting mine soon~

[jump4joy]

My story:

I'm a happily married SAHM of two really wonderful girls, ages 14 and 16. Just turned 49 and I'd really like to have escaped obesity once and for ALL by my 50th b-day (next January). Yikes! 50! (note to self: calm down, you're STILL 49. Breathe in. Breathe out.)

I never had a weight problem until I had my first baby at 32 BUT! you couldn't have convinced me before that that I didn't ALWAYS have 20 lbs. to lose because of the brain-washing of our thin-obsessed culture. Was married one year when I had my baby girl and gained 75 lbs. Never lost that weight (tried and tried desperately) and had my 2nd babe at 35. Only gained 15 that pregnancy but after all was said and done, still needed to lose 75.

-Lost 80 lbs. from '95 to '96 using my own low-calorie diet and walking then running 5-6 times a week plus strength-training 3 times a week. Can't believe I worked so hard only to gain it all back.....I could've been thin for the last ten years. Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

-Found Medifast in '98...lost 45 lbs. and kept it off for two years....then gained it all back. Dr. didn't know what he was doing and had me eating too many carbs with MF....so it was essentially a low-calorie, slow-losing diet.

-Found a Medifast doctor in 2000 and lost 80 lbs. in eight months (said Dr. cut me loose as soon as I got to goal....I had no idea how to transition...hadn't even thought about it much. Only thought about getting to goal-weight). I realize now that I got about 15 pounds too skinny that time----you know how it is, you get addicted to the compliments and it's a little heady to actually BE a stick--a mere SLIP of a girl! Fought tooth and nail but gained it all PLUS ten by Jan. 2003 when I found TSFL.

-From Jan. to the end of May I did great---I was a weight-loss STAR--followed MF perfectly, never deviating ONCE (ominous music). I'd lost 63 1/2 lbs. with only 12 1/2 till goal when my hair started falling out by the handfuls (like rats abandoning a sinking ship) :p Had to quit the full-fast and because I'm SUCH an all-or-nothing perfectionist and felt like a failure for not reaching goal (!!! can ya b'lieve it?! WHAT a head-case!), started gaining it back.

You should see my chart at that point:
up, then down, up, down, up, down...each up being a little MORE up than the last up...you know the drill. Struggle, struggle, struggle, all the while feeling the shame and very public failure and humiliation gaining it all back and THEN SOME. Gee, d'ya think I have a little transition/maintenance problem? It aggravates me just to even write this!

-All of 2005 I languished in bloated despair reaching an all-time high of 220 (over the holidays) on my petite 5'2" frame. Being fat for me is TORTURE a living hell. My tiny little delicate feet can't stand it---literally. Achey-ness, tiredness, can't-tie-my-dang-shoes Fat Hell. I've been thin 4 times in the last ten years, and the difference in quality of life between fat and thin is, well,....there aren't even WORDS to express it!! I've been thin and I've been fat, and all I can say is that being fat IS NO WAY TO LIVE. That's why I'll NEVER give up trying to lose this weight!

From Jan. 1 to the end of March '06, I'd managed to lose 10 (almost) painless lbs. making small, achievable changes, and not worrying about doing MF perfectly (just doing my best)....didn't eat in the evenings after 7:00, drank plenty of water, slowly incorporating walking, etc. Last fall I was diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes and that was my wake-up call. My cholesterol was borderline-high (218) and my blood-pressure was a little high. since Jan. with my small changes, my bp is back to normal (120/75) (don't know what my blood-sugars and cholesterol are doing, but I have an appt. next month and will find out.)

On March 31st, I decided that it was Do Or Die time. I read a post from DeDe when I found this forum that inspired me to bite the bullet and commit 100% to Medifast protocol for 30 days come hell or highwater! (Because she said that committing to 30 days was what got her going and gave her the momentum to keep going after that). I felt like 30 days was a doable time period that I could actually DO. I know this program backwards and forwards and I decided that it's time to pee or get off the pot! (pardon the pun)

I've lost 30 lbs. exactly since my 220 lb. high weight....20 of it since I joined this forum and started MF in ernest on 3/31/06.

[jump4joy]

I've seriously been thinking about giving up the scale and made the commitment last Friday night. I was so amazed to see that Denise (also at this forum) had come to the SAME decision at the same time. FATE! Talking to her about it made it easier for me to deepen my commitment and will make it easier for me to follow through on it, I think. She and I will support each other going cold-turkey for a month.

The scale really messes with my mind and I'm tired of being compliant and having my day ruined because of bad news from the metal monster.

I've noticed that after my Weigh-Day on Friday mornings that I slack off on the plan (unconciously) and the cravings increase over the weekend. By Monday, I get my wt-loss focus back and go overboard with strictness, not even allowing legal snacks so that I can have a good weigh-in. I've been in denial over this....I really thought that I was "handling it" by thinking of it as only a tool. I've been really working on self-awareness and I've come to realize that I was deceiving myself and allowing the obsessive hope of a favorable "number" to affect my diet negatively.

So I've put it away in a hard to each spot....I'll have to move stuff to get to it. This morning, if my scale had been in it's usual spot in the bathroom, I KNOW that the temptation to hop on would've been TOO MUCH.

Today I've felt such peace and it's so nice to just work the MF plan and let it do it's stuff without worrying about any backtalk from an inanimate object THING. What a relief.

I'm SURE that heavy scale-withdrawal is in my future this week....

[jump4joy]

As I read Jo's journal entry, I saw so many parallels in my own life. I started feeling fat in 9th grade....I weighed about 85 lbs. soaking wet, but the anorexic 70's were brainwashing me into thinking that if I were just thinner, I'd be more popular and loved. I thought I was fat all through high school and when I was 18 and weighed 120 lbs., mom told me I was fat and put me on my first diet. I think she did it because of her own skewed body issues and she was dieting too, though she didn't need to. That first diet put me on a roller-coaster with my weight going up and down 10, then 20, then 25 to 30 over and over until I got pregnant at 32 and gained over 60 lbs....Then I was FAT for real....obese even. My two pregnancies really sent me into the Land of the Obese....hey, all those years I thought I was fat and disgusting finally became a reality. "As a man thinketh, so is he."

I've already written what happened after that. Jo's entry really made me THINK. I'm working hard at changing how I'll eat forever, changing how I see myself and finally believe that I am really worthy of love. I'm not going to be afraid to be SEEN or VISIBLE when I get thin again. I don't need food or this insulation of fat to comfort me or make me "safely invisible". My dear husband, Jerry, married me when I was young and beautiful (I didn't think I was) and 125 lbs. He has always loved me no matter what size I have ever been and has always told me I was beautiful to him. He has never been overweight and is a very handsome man.....women check him out all the time. He doesn't care about that or notice. He is good and kind, loves God and loves me and our girls. I am very blessed. I finally reject the thoughts I've had for many years that he deserves better and believe him when he tells me that I'm the only woman for him forever and always. My dad was always critical of my mother's weight in spite of the fact that she was of normal weight and above average in looks. I'm so thankful my Jerry isn't like that.

[DogMa]

Joy, I really admire you for giving up the scale. I can't do it!! Won't even try.

And I'm so glad to see your goal weight and hear you were too skinny when you went much lower. I'm 5-foot-2 also, and I keep thinking maybe 125 is too HIGH. But I think I'm sticking with it for now.

[jump4joy]

Joy, I really admire you for giving up the scale. I can't do it!! Won't even try.

And I'm so glad to see your goal weight and hear you were too skinny when you went much lower. I'm 5-foot-2 also, and I keep thinking maybe 125 is too HIGH. But I think I'm sticking with it for now.

Thanks Robin! I'm just going to give it up for a little while and get on less often when I do....it's drastic for me, but I want to experiment and see if it helps me to just focus on doing the plan and stop with the scale-games!

It's so interesting that we all are so unique and have such varying body compositions. I've done a lot of hydrostatic (underwater) weigh-ins to find out actual LBM to fat ratio when I was at varying weights, and I discovered to my surprise that I have a very high Lean Body Mass for my height. The P.T. said I had the LBM of a 5'8" woman, and I'm only 5'2". When I weighed in the low 120's, I was a loose size 4.....no problem being that SIZE per se, but I just didn't feel healthy or good at that weight. My goal right now is to get to 135, which puts me at a comfortable size 8, but who knows? I may tweak it down to 130.....I'll wait till I get there and then evaluate.

125 may be too high for you.....most of the charts I've seen put us down to around 110 to 125 for our heights, (if I remember right, depending on whichever chart you look at). You'll know the right weight for you when you get to it, I'm sure.

[DogMa]

I was pretty comfy at 125 before. I have pretty small bones. The last time I was 125, I was a size 7. But I would swear sizes have changed since then, because I can fit in a 7 now and I'm nowhere near as thin.

I tend to pack on muscle pretty easily, too, though. So I figure as soon as I can fit in a 6, I'll start doing more to build muscle and less to lose fat. And try to get off the darn scale a little more!

Charts put us at anywhere from 115 or so to 135. Mybodycomp has me at just barely in normal weight range (they have you measure a bizillion places to determine that, so I trust them a lot more than those BMI charts and the old Metropolitan Life height/weight chart).

[jump4joy]

Still not missing the scale yet. And I put up my avatar...very nervous about it since putting my pic out in internet-land has always seemed scary to me. Plus, I don't like having my picture taken. I haven't even had a family portrait done, and my dd's are teenagers! So sad about that, but I always thought I was too fat and thought I'd wait till I lost weight. I was only skinny-for-five-minutes three times in the last ten years and didn't think of a family portrait till it was too late every time. Better get it done SOON...this summer before they grow up! (But I know that I'll keep saying....not now, I'll be thin later this year!).

Having a good Medifast day today....staying right on program. My PMS (PMDD) week is here and the cravings are high, as usual, but I'm hanging in there so far and not caving. It'll be a White-Knuckle Week.

Joy

[jump4joy]

Diana's NSV post got me to thinking, so when I got in my van to run an errand this a.m., I looked down and noticed that instead of touching the steering wheel (which has been the norm for the past two years), my tummy was four inches away! (I got a ruler and measured). My thighs used to almost brush the steering wheel too. Now I have AMPLE (nice to use that word in a positive way) space to get in and out of my car......so nice!!!!! I was doing the happy dance.

It's amazing what a difference a 30 lb. loss can make! Since I've sworn off the scale for a while, I gotta start looking for those NSV's.

Joy

[Jan]

Whoooo Hooo Joy -- you are doing soooo great. Those pesky pounds are leaving. Pretty soon you're going to be lookin' for new "skinny" clothes!!!
jan

[jump4joy]

Thanks Jan! Your support has meant so much to me.....I'm so glad I found you. You are an awesome H.A. and FRIEND.

Since I'm off the scale and worried that I might slacken or let things slide, I've been reading the archives here and have made my way through all the newsletters that Nancy has written. (She hasn't written one for a while....I'd LOVE to see her start them up again. If she wrote a book, I'd BUY it!). So anyways, I'm working on some new rules/goals right now to focus on to help in my MF journey.

1. Keep a Food Log. Write down every bite that goes in my mouth. (I've been doing this since March 31, 2006 faithfully. That was the day I GOT SERIOUS and commmitted to MF.

2. Never eat while watching TV or reading. I'm like Pavlov's Dogs in that I've trained myself to eat while doing these two activities. Turn on the tube and my cravings hit....same with reading. This will be HARD to break, but I know it will be an important CHANGE for me. Nancy wrote recently in Zinkette's journal that she made the same rule: no tv eating, while she was losing, so I thought that there was no time like the present and that would be a good goal/rule for me, too!.

3. Drink 95 oz. water (about 12 cups) every day.

Joy

[jump4joy]

This was something I posted in the Weight Room, but I wanted to put it in my journal because it evoked such powerful emotions in me while I wrote it. I don't think that anyone reads my journal entries, so I want this here for me. I really admire many people in this forum, but for some reason, I still don't have a sense of "belonging" here. It's probably just my imagination. I always feel like the "odd man out". I've wondered if it is that I'm an unpleasant reminder that weight regain is not only possible, but VERY PROBABLE if one doesn't learn the lessons from past mistakes, and make the permanent lifetime sacrifices needed to live the rest of your life THIN.

I'm a veteran of the Medifast Wars going back to 1998 (I've kept detailed records). This first skirmish didn't last beyond 14 weeks because the Dr. didn't understand the plan.....he was my ONLY source of information since buying MF was only obtained through a prescription at his office.

2nd time, 2000-2001: Lost 80 lbs. in 8 months doing the Full Fast with the occasional Modified Plan (that's what they were called at that time). Didn't cheat once. No Transition plan was offered, and the Dr. cut me loose at goal weight. I finally was able to start buying products from the official MF site at that time. Gained it all back, tho I fought it.

3rd time, 2003: Found TSFL, lost 63 1/2 pounds in five months doing the full fast.....no cheats. Stopped 10 lbs. from goal because my hair was falling out and it freaked me out. Didn't do transition. Gained it back in spite of restart after restart after restart. I couldn't seem to find the ZONE.

2006: Weary from 3 YEARS of restarts, but still determined that MF was my best course of action, I worked HARD on my mindset and things finally clicked for me on March 31st. Lost about 30+ pounds (taking a break from the scale for now), with about 50 to go.

I know some of you may be sick of hearing my story, and I don't like airing my past "failures" to keep the weight off.....but I do it so that it's a solemn reminder that you can and will gain the weight BACK if you don't make the permanent lifetime changes needed. I stuck with MF because I knew I'd finally found the answer to my question: "What Diet?" the Honeymoon period with the newness of MF was OVER LONG AGO. So it's hard, but I work at maintaining my determination and enthusiasm any way I can. Medifast works. It's the best diet for me. And I'm not giving up EVER. I'm not a failure, my success has just been a "2000-step process".

Longterm things that work for me now:

K.I.S.S. Rule--"keep it simple, stupid." Get in a routine of eating on time, and I do best when I just have simple RTD's, or shake up a Chocolate 70, Cocoa, and a bar every other day or oatmeal every other day. I just eat my tried-and-true favorites and don't bother with recipes very much. Creating the HABIT of everyday routine is IMPORTANT.

Keep a simple Food Log. Write down every bite that goes in my mouth and make a checkmark for every 8 oz. water.

Plan and Re-commit every morning. Evaluate how I did every night. Put stickers on calendar to represent each area accomplished. (i.e. Complete or 5 & 1, exercise done, was it a gain, maintenance, or weight loss day?, etc).

Joy

[Lizabette]

This was something I posted in the Weight Room, but I wanted to put it in my journal because it evoked such powerful emotions in me while I wrote it. I don't think that anyone reads my journal entries, so I want this here for me. I really admire many people in this forum, but for some reason, I still don't have a sense of "belonging" here. It's probably just my imagination. I always feel like the "odd man out". I've wondered if it is that I'm an unpleasant reminder that weight regain is not only possible, but VERY PROBABLE if one doesn't learn the lessons from past mistakes, and make the permanent lifetime sacrifices needed to live the rest of your life THIN.

JOY,

Finally getting around to reading some of the journal posts and I especially wanted to read yours!
Hey, don't even think that you don't belong! I am learning a lot from your posts, and especially the determination that it takes to not only lose weight, but to maintain it.
At one time or another, most of us have done exactly as you have, but finally we get it!

You have had experiences that would stop a train, but you have kept on trying...I really admire you for that! Your rules/goals are great and I read every one.

Please freely accept our love and admiration for you.



Lizabette

[jump4joy]

Oh Lizabette, your kind words brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for your caring and thoughtful acknowledgement. The goodness and love you always radiate is such a blessing to us all.

Joy

[Denise]

Oh Joyous! You soo belong! You are a Very important addition to this forum...and more importantly you are an important addition in my life to keep me on the straight and narrow path to medifast success!!

Together we will be sexy bombshells...ummm..I mean healthy women!