JLaman79

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Postby jlaman79 » January 30th, 2007, 3:05 pm

Jo you'd get a kick out of us huddling with our coats on in front of the heater vents. I hate winter. The good thing is it will only be this cold for 2 months at the most. Spring comes early and summer is long, and fall melds into winter. That's the way I like it. Of course later in the year when it's 106 outside I'll be complaining again!

Oh well, at least I'm in a better mood this afternoon. Today is 100% compliant.
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Postby DonicaB » January 30th, 2007, 3:18 pm

I agree......I hate the cold. It was below 0, with the wind chill factor, today here in Missouri. It was miserable. I'm like you....I love the spring, summer and fall.......I could live without winter. I see absolutely no good in it. ;)

I'm glad you are in a better mood and 100% compliant. What a wonderful combination! :mrgreen:

DonicaB :bananadance:
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Postby Serendipity » January 30th, 2007, 3:54 pm

I ask myself every day why I don't live in Arizona.....or Austrailia.....or South Florida.....or Hawaii......or San Diego.....

Really, the only thing I like about winter is that I can buy really nice sweaters! .....and fur coats......:mrgreen:
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"Grandma, how did you make yourself so little?", My grandson, Jake
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Postby jlaman79 » January 31st, 2007, 8:26 am

Old Man Winter has been listening on out conversation and decided to give me a good dose of it. 17 degrees this morning! The weather man is saying we will have 2 inches of snow when we wake in the morning. I know 2 inches isn't much but it's most likely all we will see for the season, so the kids are really excited and most likely will get out of school. TN people don't drive on anything that remotely resembles snow or ice. We stay home and wait for it to go away!

Yesterday was an awesome MF day. I was 100% compliant which means all 5 meals a perfect L and G and more than 70 ounces of water.

My bad mood resurfaced for a little while when I got home but after dinner it got better. Poor hubby.

My two big MF boxes were waiting for me when I got home and I still get excited opening those boxes! This time I decided to try the RTD shakes, I ordered 2 cases of the chocolate. I had on this morning on the way to work and now I am so glad I ordered them. It was delicious and so perfectly easy! I wish I had ordered them months ago!

I'm back in ketosis this morning and feeling better. Looking forward to a great day.

7:30 RTD choc.
10:30 cocoa
1:30 chili
4:30 RTD choc
6:30 L and G
8:30 bar
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Postby bikipatra » January 31st, 2007, 8:51 am

Sounds like you are doing great! I get excited when I get my boxes too!!!
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Postby jlaman79 » January 31st, 2007, 2:41 pm

I've been good today. Completely compliant. I hope we don't get snowed in tonight (not literally....around here snowed in means there's frozen stuff on the road) Anyway the point is that when I'm cooped up in the house all day I tend to peruse my other options.

Planning ahead for my weekend. Superbowl party.........
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Postby bikipatra » February 1st, 2007, 1:44 am

jlaman79 wrote:I've been good today. Completely compliant. I hope we don't get snowed in tonight (not literally....around here snowed in means there's frozen stuff on the road) Anyway the point is that when I'm cooped up in the house all day I tend to peruse my other options.

Planning ahead for my weekend. Superbowl party.........

I haven't watched a football game since October. They are too much of a trigger for me. The last one I watched I drank 23 beers. My Cowboys were losing.
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Postby jlaman79 » February 1st, 2007, 9:13 am

I love that pic Biki! I'm not really into football but my friends are and have invited us over to their Superbowl party. I'll refrain from the beer no problem, but I'll need help if there's tequila!

I'm helping her plan her menu so I know there's plenty of veggies and things I can have.

I'm doing great so far today.

7:30 RTD
10:30 cocoa
1:30 cream of chicken
4:30 RTD
6:30 L and G
8:30 bar
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Postby bikipatra » February 1st, 2007, 9:37 am

Tequila makes me mean! Thanks for the compliment on the pic and have fun at your partay!
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Postby jlaman79 » February 1st, 2007, 12:06 pm

confession. I just ate compulsively. I went to fill up my water bottle and thought I'd get a pickle spear. In the fridge were some left over meatballs in maranara sauce from last night's training. My head was screaming just close the door, walk away, don't do it. And my hands just kept going. I ate a small bowl of the meatballs. Standing in front of the microwave, eating so fast I was almost choking. My Mf meals right in front of me. Now i feel horrible and stuffed. I can't even go three fulls days of being completely on plan. I'm upset with myself and mad that I can't seem to control this stupid behaviour. need to do some thinking.
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Postby bikipatra » February 1st, 2007, 12:30 pm

I would ask myself how hungry I was. Had it been too long between supplements? You said you were going for a pickle, were you craving salt or just something to eat, or bored? Have you had enough water today?
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Postby jlaman79 » February 1st, 2007, 1:30 pm

bikipatra wrote:I would ask myself how hungry I was. Had it been too long between supplements? You said you were going for a pickle, were you craving salt or just something to eat, or bored? Have you had enough water today?


I was getting hungry but it wasn't quite time for the next supplement. I've been trying to space them out to 3 hours apart.

I was craving salt and I was bored. I've had half my water for the day so far. I know that I wouldn't have done it if any of my co-workers were here. I wouldn't have even looked at the dang meatballs. It's something to do with being bored and being alone. I never ate like that in front of anyone before, only when I was alone. I just want to cry now.

I'm trying to keep my head up, but at this point my mood is just spiraling down. I thought I was past things like that.

The plan for the rest of the day is to have the RTD at 4:30 and a salad in place of the L and G. I'll have a shake instead of the bar at 8:00

I have a headache.

Sorry about being so negative, but I've erased half of what I wrote because I didn't want to bring anyone else down with me.
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Postby Karli » February 1st, 2007, 1:56 pm

Hi, jlaman. You know, I understand your feelings of disatisfaction. And, it's good of you to want to stay on program, and the fact that you are upset shows that you really care about how your habits play out. But, this is not the end of the world. This is not the end of your life, this is not your destiny, it does not control your eating path, and you are going to make it through the mental darkness you seem to be feeling at the moment :pet:.

The key is not letting it stop you from seeing where you want to go and continuing on, and it wants to stop you in your tracks by trying to make you feel awful for not being perfect in how you measure up to a set out program. Don't let it stop you from moving on, no matter how convincing that little voice is. Our lives simply do not exist on paper !! They are always happening in real time. So, maybe you thought you would not be faced with something like this again... but the reality is that this option is actually *always* around (and will be for the rest of our lives), even if we have times where we don't really view it as an option at all.

Think about all of the times you have not gone this route. A lot, eh ? It has to have been a lot to have lost 50+ pounds already. You have already had so much success at seeing the thing, and then deciding to walk away. Sometimes it's just good to magnify those times, you know ?

Anyway, your plan for the day sounds good. And, tomorrow is a brand new day, and you will have learned from today :).

Keep your chin up, it's all going to be okay :).

Karli
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Postby jlaman79 » February 1st, 2007, 2:10 pm

Thanks karli. You're post brought tears to my eyes. I know you've had hard times too. I feel dirty and ashamed and embarrassed and a whole bunch of other horrible emotions right now. I guess knowing how easily I could slip back into those closet binges is scary. *shudder* Too many of those memories. It's been so long and yet it's still just right there.

I'm going to read through your comments again.
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Goal 145???
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Postby Karli » February 2nd, 2007, 8:43 am

Hi, jlaman, just wanting to know how you are doing today :).


Cheers,
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