The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[krandle]

I just found out about two weeks ago i have diabetes and now i limit my sugar and carb intake. For the past two days my husband brings home cookies and makes a conscious effort to make sure i see them. I had two today and two yesterday. But he knows i have been in bondage with food the whole marriage. I have lost 20 pounds so far and talking to him about this is like talking to a wall. Bottom line is this, HE WANTS ME TO EAT THE COOKIES. I wish i could be in some kind of mind frame here when he does these disgusting things. I don't bring things like this home when i shop. But is can't control his actions. HELP!

[fedup]

I know what you mean! My boyfriends "mysteriously" wanted spaghetti (my favorite meal) for dinner 3 days after I started MF. Then he "mysteriously" wanted home made peanut butter cookies on day 5!

Don't get me wrong, he's usually very supportive. I think part of it is that he really doesn't realize how tough this is, especially the first days. Who knows. Maybe your hubby isn't realizing, but it sounds like he sure should be. (Maybe he's afraid you'll expect his eating habits to change, and he's making it obvious that he's not going to?!) Try telling him this is for your health, and he can eat whatever he wants, but could he help you out by putting it in a special cupboard?

Just keep remembering that you are doing this for yourself and your health. Even when that temptation is right in your face, I always tell myself "those cookies will be there when I'm done with this, no-one is going to stop making cookies all of a sudden." (sometimes I have to tell myself this 100 times, of course!

[explorthis]

my husband brings home cookies
makes a conscious effort to make sure i see them
Bottom line is this, HE WANTS ME TO EAT THE COOKIES But is can't control his actions. HELP!

Don’t take this the wrong way, but WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

Interesting. I read this as your husband is intentionally trying to sabotage you. Intentionally? Why would he intentionally do something like this? In caps you say HE WANTS ME TO EAT THE COOKIES. Is this the truth, or are you just assuming this?

I wish i could be in some kind of mind frame here
I had two today and two yesterday.
But is can't control his actions. HELP!

You solicit help, which we are here for, but right after you say that your husband brings them home, you not only have TWO one day, but TWO the next day? And you cannot control his actions?

My advice: Explain to him in no uncertain terms that you are on this program for a reason, and you really need his help. Could he please stop enticing you to eat the cookies, or whatever else he is attempting to undermine your progress with? If he refuses, take them outside and throw them in the trash, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM. Why not?

Secondly, you can’t do this unless you want to. No one is forcing you to eat these cookies. He brings them home, but is not holding a knife at your throat making you eat one OR TWO. What actually goes through your mind each step of the way, as you THINK about eating not one but two cookies? Not one day, but 2 days?

Yeeesh, am I missing something here?

Why would you spend $300 a month, and INTENTIONALLY sabotage yourself – yes YOU personally sabotaging yourself, with something so trivial as this?

Inquiring minds wanna know.

-Mike

[Lois]

Hi Friends,

I'll make this short and simple: I....and ONLY I....am responsible for what I put in my mouth.

The food can walk in the door on it's own two legs, for all I care!!! It DOESN'T MATTER! I DON'T HAVE TO EAT IT

The only one who can sabatoge my food plan is ME.

hugs to all,

Lois

[Sylvia]

Krandle,

Don't mean to pile on but Mike is right. You, not your husband, are sabotaging yourself. Look, we know that life is sometimes hard. People don't always behave as we would like them to and in the context of MF either aren't as supportive or understanding as we'd like them to be or flat out do not want us to succeed for some reason. This is not about other people, it is about you. Every day you make a choice about whether to eat on plan or off of plan. That choice and the consequences of it are yours and yours alone.

Case in point, once I started MF, I was completely focused and committed. During my first week, my husband brought home a large pizza for dinner. He was not trying to sabotage me - he is my biggest supporter. The kids really wanted it and he gave in. So I thought I was going to die when he came in with it. Pizza is my absolute favorite and it smelled so good. But I was committed and there was no way I was going to eat it.

After giving him dirty looks, I simply said I would not be eating with the family and that he needed to get it out of the house immediately after they ate. He did and I stayed true to the program. The next time they got pizza (several weeks later after asking my permission), I was ready to handle it. They've had it several times in the 5 months I've been doing this and I haven't had a bite yet.

I don't mean to suggest that I'm stronger or better than you - I'm not. What I am is both committed and accountable. No one can make me fail - if I do, it will be no one's fault but mine.

So yes, make your husband understand how his behavior is making this hard for you and yes, ask him to be more considerate about his food purchases. Don't, however, use what he does as an excuse for overeating. That is something you need to own yourself.

[fedup]

Ditto to what everyone else said too. As I said earlier, I sympathize with how it is when the significant other is maybe "insensitive" to how tough it is at times, but it still comes down to US deciding what WE will or will not eat.

In week 1 of the program alone, I had to face a conference with tables of sugary-goodies, a birthday dinner of a friend, my spaghetti and peanut butter cookie temptation at home, and another special anniversary dinner out at a restaurant! Talk about food being thrown in my face, and on the first week too! But I didn't eat an of it, I shaked and slurped water till it was coming out of my ears! Only I can make myself eat or not eat.

Do whatever you need to do to make it easier, like the separate cupboard idea, but be prepared that for the rest of the world "food didn't stop" so there are going to be those unavoidable times when it is in your face, but if your like me, if I put in my mouth, it'll be on my hips in 5 seconds!

Hang in... we've all been there

[LongWay2go]

Ladies, ladies, ladies!

This is my 3rd time to read this thread. The first time it made me so angry I couldn't respond. The second time I almost replied to say that a good solution would be to make your SO eat the cookies OUTSIDE and not bring them in the house. Then it hit me, the perfect solution! YOU must be to blame for this obnoxious behavior, but there is a solution! Do not make your SO bring home cookies. Bake him/her fresh ones, right from your own kitchen. Just replace 1/4 of the flour with unflavored metamucil and use chocolate flavored exlax for the chocolate chips. Trust me, he/she will NEVER bring home cookies again, as long as you are on MediFast!

~Gerald

[explorthis]

Bake him/her fresh ones - metamucil - exlax

Sniff, sniff. My prodigy. Makes a Dad proud!

Tito, get me a tissue.

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

Ooooh, Gerald, methinks I see the hint of a mean streak! LOL

Hey KRandle, it is something that's up to you. There will always be obstacles. I can't think of "the perfect time" to start losing weight so as not to interfere with birthday parties or baby showers or catered company events. Not even signifigant others who either intentionally or not, seem to stand in our way.
All of these things will always exist. It is up to YOU to decide how you will react to them. It IS hard--if it was easy, none of us would be here discussing it, we'd all be sitting on our skinny butts on a beach somewhere in a string bikini.
You can talk to him about keeping his "treats" at work or in the garage or in the car--even on a very high shelf in the kitchen not easily seen or accessed. In the end, these tactics are all just diversions, though, and if you really WANT a cookie, you'll find a way to get one with or without his help. Alternatively, if you really WANT to avoid them like the plague, he could bury you in chocolate chip gooeyness and you could climb out unscathed.
You just have to make the choice on how you want to spend your life. Running scared that you'll cross paths with a cookie or confident in the fact that they have no power over you?


Susanna

[LongWay2go]

I'm Guido Jr. in training, didn't you know?

It did take me a few minutes to get that down to a "g" rated version, let me tell you!

~Spidey

[shineface]

Hey Krandle---

Tough room huh?

Anyway, yes, everything everyone has to say is true - we are responsible for our own decisions - yes, no excuses - in theory this all sounds and works great. However, there are alot of demons that need to be exorcised in the process. Speaking as one that knows from experience the push-pull, control-submission dynamics of a relationship can add to the sickness in our lives ... eating and food are symptoms of other things that aren't right within us - is it not being breast-fed at birth or being teased or tortured as a kid or not getting to go to the Prom --- I have no idea but yes, all those experiences contribute to who we are today. Fat, sick and suffering looking for freedom and health because we need to save ourselves from the pain and loneliness of our daily lives.

YES--- Today we are adults and we have choices to say no to self abuse and the abuse of others. Is it easy - no, can we do it - sometimes, do we need to never give up -YES, do we need to feed ourselves with dreams of freedom and support from the people in our lives that truly believe in us - ALWAYS. This is what I know to be true today. I no longer believe my own lame excuses for my destructive behavior - was it easy to get to this point - NO, does it feel wonderful to be here - YOU BETCHA!!!!

This is my experience and this is what we share here - our experiences - pieces of our souls - not just the "How-To's" ... but the "YOU CAN DO IT TOO" strength and hope. Stay close - I've been learning that lesson myself lately and always be honest to yourself above all - YOU WILL DO IT- BECAUSE---

WE WILL DO THIS TOGETHER!!!

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Krandle,

Funny the difference in advice you received above from the women and men huh?

I agree with all of it. When doing Medifast, you have to get down right MILITANT! Cookies, pizza, anything not on the MF plan is the ENEMY! SEEK and DESTROY!!!! Throw it away as Mike suggested! Declare your territory as a NO ENEMY FOOD zone! Anyone who attempts to infiltrate your space with enemy food will be subjected to Gerald's covert cookies! This is a battle. Get a grip my dear and keep holding tight!

Camille

[elle4nelly]

Hi Krandle!

Your husband can bring home 3lbs of steaks, mushroom wine sauce and baked potato plus carrot cakes if he wishes. THAT doesn't mean YOU have to have any of it. Temptation is everywhere for all of us. In some case your loved one tempts you. You have a goal and a desire. Keep your eyes on them and keep going! Easier said then done? Absolutely! But what's the alternative? Eating this and that, watching the scale go up, then crying or getting upset about it wasting time while we could be a pound or two thinner?

My Point is: IF you have a dream and you want it real bad...then no cookies in this universe will make you miss out on your dream. So it all boils down to a "thinner you or a cookie"?
Only you can choose!
You know...change is a scary thing for most people! Sometimes not only do we resist the call for change but our loved ones do too. Often people who love you as you are feel threatened that a new you would be a different you. I found that dieting and losing weight brings 2 kinds of reactions in my loved one. One group is happy and cheer you to goal and the other internalize their feeling over my weight loss and that group is the group that pushes food in my face. In the past when I was struggling with my own insecurity, I would get upset. NOT anymore! I make it clear to all that I am the same person BUT BETTER. And that my weight loss is necessary for both health reasons and for emotional well being. That’s it. I’ve won them over by my latest “take no prisoners” attitude. One reluctant supporter kept wanting to go to restaurants and have drinks. All attempts to make it clear that I cannot were getting lost in her insecurity over my weight loss. So I stopped fighting it. I went to all restaurant outings bringing along a RTD shake and sipping on diet coke, while she ate and drank. After a few of these sorts of restaurant ordeals, she announced to me that She can’t wait for me to have drinks, that it was no fun for her to sit there and go at it all alone. So I came up with a solution. I come over, I make her martinis (I am soooo good at it). She‘ll cook herself low fares, I’ll have a fast soup with ¼ cup veggies in it. We chat, I go home and everyone is happy! And happy I am….This Sunday I will be recording a weight I haven’t been in at least 3 years.
A cookie or your dream? It’s all up to you!

Nelly

[explorthis]

get down right MILITANT! Cookies, pizza, anything not on the MF plan is the ENEMY! SEEK and DESTROY!!!! Throw it away as Mike suggested! Declare your territory

Love it, Camille, a new Medi-motto:

Medifast: Declare Your Territory - Get Down Right Militant!

[Guest]

I AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


IF YOU WANT IT THAT BAD THEN KICK A..
TAKE NO PRISONER AND LET NOTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY!!


GOOD ONE CAMILLE!

NELLY