So here goes... My name is Kanani. I'm 39 years old. I am married to my sweetheart Sylvester. We have three boys: Sal (16), Christian ( 12), and Toa (3). We live in beautiful Hawaii on the island of Oahu.
I am 5'2" and started MF at 170#, my all time heaviest. For someone who is that short, 170 is pretty darn big.
My history with weight and eating issues is long and drawn out, but I will try to make it as short as possible.
I have been a hula dancer since the age of 2. I started ballet, tap and jazz at the age of 5. I've been a performer ever since I can remember so I've always been on publice display. Being a dancer, weight is always a concern. My first experience with weight issues began at age 9 when my doctor said I was "CHUBBY"! From that point on my mother took it upon herself to put me on a diet. I can remember being scolded and lectured all the way home for being too fat.
By age 12 I had already been on a low calorie diet and slim fast.
The summer before my freshmen year of HS, my mother decided to enroll both of us in Nutri-system. She thought it would be "good for me". That year my Dad passed away suddenly of a heart attack. There was no warnng. He wasn't on any medications, he didnt have HBP or high cholestrol. So it was devistating. Most of all I lost my best friend... my Dad and I were very close. So needless to say, my already strained relationship with my mother became worse. She became even more controlling as the years passed. I know now that her intentions were good but at that time, all I needed was unconditional love and a boost to my esteem.
When I left for college she made a long list of what I could and couldn't eat and gave it to my cousin who was off to the same school. He was "responsible of keeping me in line". Well, he could care less about that and so did I, so like a caged animal set free, I ate and ate whatever I wanted. It was the first time I could eat whatever without being scrutinized, and I loved it. Until it was time for auditions for Living Legends, a performing group I needed to be in for my scholarship. I had gained 20 pounds. Well, I got in but I was "Chubby". From that point, I developed an eating disorder. I thought I could keep my weight down by throwing up. So thus the inevitable happened. My long battle with Bulimia. It is so horrible to see this on the computer screen as I'm typing.
This lasted until I found out I was pregnant with my first boy. I stopped completely, until one month after he was born, and then it started again. I actually thought I was doing great because I was the thinnest I had ever been, my gosh, so dillusional! 2 years later I got pregnant again, this time gaining 65 pounds in 7 months and ending upin the hospital witj pre-eclampsia. My son was premature and weigh 4.75 pounds. He was healthy though... but i wasn't. All that weight stuck to me. My eating disorder continued for 12 years.
I have collected a library full of diet books, exercise tapes and order hundreds of dollars of pills, potions and gadgets, and special foods in the quest of losing the weight. I was somewhat successful and settled in at 150 pounds. That is the weight I would always come back to if I gained or lost.
Fast forward to July 2006. We decided to go on a last minute trip to Disneyland. At that point, I was at my all time high weight of 170. I had to buy new pants and shirts before the trip because all my other clothes were too tight. During the vacation I got mad at my husband for videoing me with the kids. I walked away when he took out the camera. I avoided anything that would show my roley-poley reflection. The only time I enjoyed myself was when we were eating at one of the many great restaurants we went to .
By the last day of our trip I got so disgusted with myself that I promised myself I would start MF again. I had started MF Nov '05 and sabotaged myself during the holidays. I really wasn't committed to the program and cheated constantly. But I knew MF was the only thing that would work for me because I had such great results the first time before I quit.
So I started on August 1, 2006 and today is September 6, 2006. I am still doing MF and I am 20# lighter. This is milestone for me, at the weight I always come back to...... but this time I'm movin' forward!
Serendipity said in her posts that she just made up her mind to do this to reach her goal. That is the best advise for me... I made up my mind to do this. I will reach my goal of 120#. I know I can do it. I want to thank Nancy, Terry and Unca Tim for this forum. I don't think I would have been able to make it to this point without it.
A big Mahalo (thank you) to all of you losers who continue to inspire me! I am so excited to move toward my goal with all of you!
Let's keep shakin'!
I didn't. I've noticed that when TOM visits I don't crave things as much as I used to before MF.
That's a big thing for me! 
The good thing is that I had my L&G before. Even though I had nitrous to kinda put me under, I could hear my stomach growling and then I had to go to the bathroom sooooo bad, but I held it! So I survived! 
so I ended up having soy crisps, which were hard to eat with my soar mouth! Aaaaanyhoooooo..... I'm home now. I'm going to pack a spare shakerjar and food to leave in the car so I don't get stuck like that again!!! 
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