I was that close to really losing it last night. I eyed every morsel of food on the table while everyone was dining, after the episode in the car. It was like my life flashed in front of me in high speed as I envisioned myself eating everything I should not eat, how I would feel that moment and how I would feel after I ate everything! Then God helped me...the attack calmed down, probably my stomach telling me I'm okay, don't need any more food! But yesterday was a preview of how crazy one can get. Now I sort of have a glimpse of what an alcoholic feels like with a drink. I felt like that with the extra carbs I had and the extra food. It was like coming home to a bad home. I eyed the quantity of food i used to gobble down and felt blessed I was able to put on the brakes. I will never allow myself to get that ravenous again. I should have stopped at a market and picked up something less caloric, even a stalk of celery would have helped, had I not been distracted by my hunger and the forbidden food I was eyeing and smelling. OMG!!! I had never had that kind of attack before!
Thanks everyone for your support. It was quite an experience yesterday and last night. I was glad the day was over!
martha wrote:AMELIE--
Sorry you had such a stressful day today.. tomorrow will be better.. Be prepared and keep a few extra packs in your purse or glove box.. it helps.. Smelling food you can't eat is a terrible thing.. I know as I have to cook it all adn then watch everyone else eat it.. while I have a piece of chicken ,soup or a shake.. I have some SF hard candies in my glove box for emergiences just like that.. it helps with something in my mouth but not the smells
keep your chin up and let us know how tomorrow is for you.. isn't it funny how we are own own worse critics and enemies?? just a thought...will be thinking of you tonight..Martha