The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Prancer]

One of my biggest struggles has always been that I am an emotional eater. When I feel things are out of control I take back the control by "controling" what goes in my mouth.

I have been on MF for over 6 weeks now and I am still reverting. I had a good day. Shake, Shake, Shake, oatmeal.... Then it happened. I got so stinking mad at the baseball game (my husband is a coach) I was angry with the other team for cheating, I was angry with my husband for not standing up for himself, I was angry with my husband for turning his back on me and I was angry with the president of the league for allowing the cheating to happen. So I left and took my kids home. I ordered food for my L&G. I got a chicken ceasar salad (have it from this place all the time), I ordered Dh a sandwhich and fries. Who do you think ate the fries?? Yes I did. I ate them!

So how do I fix this? How do I get past this. If I dont figure this out I am not going to be able to keep the weight off when I am done losing it. I am also not going to be able to lose the weight to begin with.

[supermom]

It is hard to break old habits. It is mostly a mind game. You will be amazed at how great it feels to really be in control of what goes in your mouth. Why do you choose to eat the fries?? Because they are good and you feel like crap. Know what feels even better?? NOT eating the fries and going for a brisk walk, or doing some kick boxing or something else. Not only do you NOT get the runs, but you don't get the calories, you burn some. AND, you feel better because of it. That is truly empowering!!! It is sooooo hard to break the habits. I know it is. Have you ever considered cutting out dining out or on the run all together for a while?? For me, that worked. I didn't buy potatoes or stuff at the store that I can not eat. I got over it. I did not go to restaurants or fast food places because I knew the smells would get to me. I MADE my husband hold me accountable. One night he took popcorn away from me. I cried. He appologized. Then, I realized that he was just doing what I told him. Then, I put my big girl panties on and got on with it. Just make up your mind to do it and git er done!! The food will be there when you are on maintenance. You just won't be so drawn to it by then because you will have realized how much better you feel without it. Plus, the visual of where the lard came from that the fries are cooked in. Have you ever heard the phrase lard a$$? Well, I for one, am sick of being one. I REFUSE to let the fries win. You can make up your mind and will yourself to win this battle too. Just do it.

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[sister]

I really appreciate you sharing this! I am soooo right there with you!
I'm sorry I don't have any suggestions just yet - I need a few for myself.

Thank you Supermom for your reply! Everything you said is right on!

Just know you are not the only one to go through such trials. I'm proud for you that you came here and are trying to honestly figure it out - head on! When I let it happen, I get right back on track and keep moving to my goal. I try to learn from it so the next time a similar "trigger" happens I can make a real effort to recognize it and make a different choice. Just don't ever let anything make you quit! Keep going no matter what!
Personally, I am tired of letting "life" be my excuse for not taking care of me. Nothing should be more important, taste better, or get in the way of our health and well being - right?

Again, thank you for sharing!!!!! You CAN take care of this - we are in the best place to get it worked out!

[Prancer]

I think I need to talk to DH and have him be the no eating out bad guy for a few weeks. I know we cant avoid it in situations where we are travelling but at times like last night we could have. There was no reason to order out when I had plenty of easily accessed L&G food here in the house. I made a point of buying cottage cheese yesterday in case I need a quick L&G...>But did I eat it????

Thanks supermom for pointing some things out.

[Sarya]

Jenn, you're right on the eating out! You have to just say no and make your meal. I also keep LF cheddar cheese on hand so I can have a salad and a chunk of cheese if I'm just not up to cooking. I also remind myself that no matter how hard I try to stick to plan when eating out I never really know, and I always over eat. I think it's easier for me now though because I'm not cooking for my roommate. He's taking over feeding himself since I started the diet because he was afraid it would make it harder on me. Of course, that means he's eating a lot of prepared foods, but well.. his choice.

Anyway.. truthfully I don't think a lot of my habits have changed. I've fallen back into drinking a lot of soda and koolaid: it's just sugar free now. I still do drink more water than I used to so it's not completely horrible, but still.. Also on the emotional eating: I've learned this much. When I am in one fo those frustrated moments and I want to emotionally eat I stop myself by reminding myself that it takes more control and willpower to stick to plan than it does to eat a comfort food. However, my social eating still sucks. I have to work on that more, but that's dangerous. In order to work on it I have to put myself into those food bearing social situations. I don't like doing that because it makes me go off plan. Hopefully I will be able to fix that problem in time.

[ascicles]

Everytime you feel like eating, stick a thumbtack in your palm.

[Sarya]

I think I'd rather have a shock collar zzt

[Prancer]

Everytime you feel like eating, stick a thumbtack in your palm.

Geesh that is drastic. Now I'm afraid of thumb tacks.

[ascicles]

Everytime you feel like eating, stick a thumbtack in your palm.

Geesh that is drastic. Now I'm afraid of thumb tacks.

Good. That means you will not want to eat for fear of feeling the wrath of the thumbtack.

[DogMa]

Everyone's right. It's definitely hard to change those habits. I feel like some of my habits really HAVE changed at this point. I've been through some bad, stressful times withOUT giving in to the food.

At first, it was difficult and all I really did was try to limit the amount or type of food I turned to. I'd be upset, I'd eat the fries and then I'd force myself to stop and, yes, put on my big-girl panties and get on with life. Then I switched to just a small order of fries (or whatever). At some point, I started having a favorite Medi-meal instead (pudding or oatmeal makes a great comfort food if you're upset, although it doesn't work as well for anger).

The last time I went through a really, really rough time, I simply refused to give in and eat what I really wanted. I told myself that if I did give in, I wouldn't feel better - I'd just feel fatter and bloated and angry at myself instead of what I was really angry about. I cried - a lot. I called my best friend and vented - a lot. It was really rough, but you know what? I felt SO proud of myself afterward, and I haven't forgotten that feeling. I'm hoping remembering that will get me through other bad times.

It's one reason that I'm sort of glad my weight loss has been slow. I've had a LOT of time to work on stuff like this, and I think it's really helped me.

[Prancer]

I think I need to go out and get me a pair of those big girl panties. Or thumb tacks.

[Sarya]

big girl panties with thumbtacks built in would keep you on your toes! (literally)

[Dayna]

Nancy recommended a book to me a while back: Life is Hard, Food is Easy. Haven't read it (I really need to get to that, one of these days ), but my understanding it is all about emotional eating, the whens, the whys, and what to do about it.

Here's the info from Amazon (they list the book for $9.72):

Book Description
This book reveals how you can cope with your feelings of frustration, boredom, or loneliness, and offers a unique step-by-step program to stop your emotions from interfering with your eating habits.

From the Inside Flap
· Recognize your craving,
· Identify your emotion,
· And solve the real problem.
We all give in to "emotional eating" sometimes. Food is an easy solution to dealing with—or avoiding—uncomfortable emotions. But when you’re trying to lose or maintain weight, emotional eating can sabotage everything you’ve worked so hard for.

Linda Spangle, founder and director of the highly successful WINNERS for Life wellness and weight-loss clinic, offers hope to those who want to take control over their eating habits and lose weight for good. Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy will completely change the way you think about food, giving you a powerful strategy for conquering your emotional eating habits and achieving lasting weight-loss success. With Spangle’s approach, you can succeed on any diet. Without it, most diets are doomed to fail.

Using specific guidelines, each step in Spangle’s 5-step plan involved answering a question related to the connection between food and emotions.

STEP 1: What’s going on? What’s making you want to eat? Learn the connection between non-hungry eating and specific categories of emotions, which Spangle terms "Heart Hunger" versus "Head Hunger."

STEP 2: What do I feel? What are the emotions behind the situation? There’s more to your emotions than mad, glad, and sad. Break out of an "emotional box" using the unique "I feel…because…" exercise. You’ll learn how to pinpoint your feeling exactly and get to the root of what’s making you eat.

STEP 3: What do I need? What’s missing in your life right now? Trace your favorite foods back to your childhood and connect them to the emotions you felt when you ate these foods. Discover how much these same emotional needs often drive your eating patterns in your adult life, and learn how to address those needs in ways that don’t involve food.

STEP 4: What’s in my way? What barriers might stop you from taking action? Identify issues that keep you from using your weight-management skills. Learn how to spot the "crazymakers" in your life and how to sidestep dieting sabotage from loved ones.

STEP 5: What will I do? What’s your "action plan" that doesn’t involve food? Here are effective, easy guidelines for handling tough situations when eating is expected and encouraged—celebrations, holidays, social get-togethers, even business meals.

This is not a book about compulsive eating or all-night binges. It’s for "normal" people who raid that refrigerator after a tough day and, in ten minutes, undo an entire week’s worth of careful eating. But rather than suggesting you eat low-fat foods on a midnight snack run, Life Is Hard, Food Is Easy helps you figure out why you were standing in front of the refrigerator in the first place.

Drawing on her own personal struggle with emotional eating, Spangle combines thoughtful advice, personal stories, real-life situations, written exercises, and practical tips and tricks you can use every day. By taking care of your needs and coping with your uncomfortable emotions, you can free yourself from the trap of using food as an easy solution.

As I haven't actually read the book, I can't really recommend it beyond saying that it was recommended to me. But it seems like it addresses an issue which many, many of us here have dealt with for years, and continue to deal with (and battle) on a regular basis. After all, is our food addiction that different from any other addiction? Is our urge to eat "bad" foods when we're upset, or lonely, or whatever, any different than an alcoholic craving a drink? Isn't it all about the escape, however temporary and ultimately unsatisfying it might be? I wonder if an alcoholic ever reaches a point where the drive for a drink goes away completely. I bet many of them don't. And we may not, but we'll learn to recognize the signals, and keep control of the situation, and face problems head-on, or look for escape in ways that aren't destructive.

On the bright side, however, at least an order of fries won't ever lead to uttering reprehensible comments while getting arrested in Malibu for going insane speeds. So I guess our addiction of choice has that going for it, at least.

[supermom]

You were born with the big girl panties. You just need to muster up the courage to wear them EVERY day!! Have faith in yourself. Robin is so right about that feeling. It is indescribable. But, it is a feeling that you never forget. It is empowerment, it is pride, it is success, it is courage, it is strength. It is every good feeling and emotion all rolled up into one big new feeling!! And, it does work to help ward off the old habits. Remembering how good it feels and looking forward to feeling it again is so much better than the feeling you get from the food.

Thumbtacks?? OUCH!!

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[Arklahoma]

Thumbtacks ~ What a novel idea. When I'm getting drowsy on night shift, I tend to dig my fingernails into my palms to try to jolt myself a little. Never thought about trying it for food cravings.