The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[FORMOMMY]

Well, I just had my one month check up with the orthopedic doctor who did my knee surgery. I am so disappointed. I am still in a lot of pain, have limited mobility and still have to take pain meds. I am up 2 to 3 times a night with the pain - putting ice packs on it, etc. To top that off, last week I had a PT assistant doing the exercises with me instead of my regular PT girl and she just about killed me!!! She pushed me to points that I am not supposed to be pushed to...as a matter of fact, she at one point said "come on, you can go higher than that" and Jen (the PT I usually have) yelled to her - only if it doesn't hurt!!!

Needless to say after that session I was in a world of hurt. When I went back 2 days later I made sure to tell her and Jen that I was in extreme pain and can barely walk since then. They took it easy on my last visit to try and undo any "damage" that may have been done. They are still at the point of trying to strengthen the muscles in a non-invasive way - not strengthen so I can run a marathon!!!!

So back to the doctor. I told him I was discouraged and told him that my pain level was about 7 or 8 most of the time. He ended up giving me a steriod shot and said that it should help - probably won't tell any difference until 3 or 4 days. I go back to see him in a month.

ARGH!!!! I am maintaining my weight because I have been adding the extra calories per doctor's orders so along with the limited mobility and pain and exhaustion from not sleeping due to the pain, I have to contend with no weight loss and everyone passing me by!!!!! I could be so much closer to my goal by now if I hadn't gotten off track! I just feel like crying!

Sorry - I know I am being a tad melodramatic but I just feel defeated.

[raederle]

Hi there. We've never met, but I used to carouse these boards last year, and I'm making my re-debut! ; ) I just wanted to say that, although I won't pretend to know what it's like to live with awful, constant pain, I sympathize! I didn't hear you whine; I just heard justifiable frustration. I'd be mad, too!

For what it's worth, you're not alone in being passed by-- temporarily! I reached my goal last year after several grueling months and then slowly, so slowly I didn't realize what was happening until I caught myself buying new "fat clothes," I gained it back. Sigh. So everyone passed me by, and I'm startin' all over again. Anyway, I hope you'll take some consolation in the fact that you're doing a great job maintaining during this temporary hiatus. Imagine how awful you'd feel if you were gaining, and giving back all those hard-lost pounds you've already melted from yourself! Go to a grocery store and line up eight 5-pound bags of flour. You ditched that much flabbage already! And that's nothing to sneeze at. Imagine how much harder it would be to go thru knee surgery and rehab with an extra 40 pounds! You did something great, and you won't give that flabbage back. No way, no how.

In the mean time, you're giving your body what it needs-- a few extra calories to help it heal itself. Your poor bod has done a lot for you over the years, so give it a chance to right itself again. Why not just promise yourself that you will give it another month? One more month to maintain your weight and help heal your knee. And at the end of the month, see what the doc says. Maybe, if things aren't getting better, you could ask him if you should start MF-ing again-- maybe losing more weight would help your knee even more.

You can do anything for a month, right? Maybe by looking at things in smaller increments, things won't get you down so much. At least, that's what I do when I need to fool myself out of the many funks I find myself in...! And, don't worry, in one month, in two months, in two years, this board will still be here, and will still be full of awesome people who will walk this path with you, no matter when you start walking.

[SharonR]

Oh Michelle, I can relate in some ways. I have extreme foot pain, having planter phacitis. When I wake up in the middle of the nigh and mornings I can barely walk for the first 10 minutes or so. Sometimes I wonder how it must feel for people to have no pain. Anyway, all I can say is hang in there. Sounds like your doing all you can. I will be praying for you.
BTW your doing a great job with your weight lose!

~ Sharon ~

[Arklahoma]

Of course you feel defeated. I was only gone from the boards roughly two weeks and I feel like everyone ran off and left me with their weight loss.

In the open heart recovery unit that I work in, most of our patients are gone within 24-48 hours but sometimes things don't go as expected and they have to hang around for a month or more. It's very common to feel depressed and defeated when the surgical outcomes are not what you had anticipated. Try to have a little patience and let your body heal in the way that it needs to. Everyone's body reacts differently to being cut open and manipulated by human hands, so just kick back and let your body whine for a while. You will lose weight again ... You and I both know it!!!

[FORMOMMY]

Thanks everyone - I am trying to pull myself out of this and have been praying faithfully for strength and patience - but the lust of the flesh are weak and I fall back into my little pity parties....I have no right to and everything you all said is true - I know once this passes I will kick butt again...but I was hoping not to go through another summer fat and to enjoy the warm weather this year. Nope - going to have to feel inadequate and uncomfortable for another year. Yes, I know things could be worse - it's that pity party thing coming over me again....I promise I will snap out of it and be thankful for all the blessings that I have right now. Don't judge me too harshly - I truly do lean on the Lord for all things; I just slip off every once in a while.

[dede4wd]

Hi Michelle,

I LOVED Raederle, Ark & Vicky's posts and don't have anything to add except that I'm so mad that happened to you and I'm so sorry you're in pain. You're not whining, you're justifiably venting! I'd be PO-ed!

We just want you healthy...don't worry about being passed, you're getting yourself healthy for the fight...we'll be here to help you win it!

DeDe

[Aerie]

All the girls have given you great advice. No matter what happens or how far you fall off just keep getting back on. Life is always full of trials and you will perservere. Just hang in there and take care of yourself; mind, body, and spirit.

[MusicalMomma Reloaded]

I'm so sorry your still in so much pain Michelle. I'm praying for you.

[JKSRN]

Hi Michelle,

I feel so bad for you that you are still in such pain. Hopefully, you will have a better progress report when you return to the MD in a month's time. I will say a prayer for that.

As far as feeling left out, you are definitely NOT, Lady!! As a another New Englander(CT.), we are toughter than that! You are not left out, you are very much here, and with us in thoughts and prayers, and like DeDe mentioned, when you are ready, we will still be here to cheer you to victory, so just get better first! Please know that we care about you! Joan(formerly Ct.Yankee, re-registered as JKSRN now)

[Ginabobina1969]

I really hate to hear you feelings so bad and in so much pain. It makes me just wanna reach out and hug ya. All of the posters above me are some wise peoples...I know that before this surgery you, over the last couple years I believe had been under an intense amount of pressure and responsibility for your family and their physical and financial well-being. That alone might cause your body to wish to take its time healing. Please try not to be so hard on yourself or your body. You are not inadequate at all but instead from everything I have read, someone I really look up to as being such a strong and loving woman.

Focus on your accomplishments over the past year and years and all the good, strong things you have done. Everyone is allowed some "downtime" and I think you were way due, just, your mind is so used to trying to control and manage because you have had too that its hard to just sit back and "wait"
letting things take thier time is one of those things we control types don't deal well with.

Boy, I sure am a rambler today..sorry. I just mostly wanted to tell you that your a wonderful woman and things will get better..your not alone and I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Hugs,
Gina

[Arklahoma]

Michelle ~ No harsh judgments here, just hugs ...

[FORMOMMY]

Thanks everyone for the sage advice and hugs. I have been pretty much in bed with my leg up for the last 4 days due to the steroid shot. I feel so yucky and know that I am retaining fluids. I can't seem to drink what I normally drink but I am going to push the fluids today to see if that helps me feel less "fluffy" as Nancy puts it.

My knee doesn't seem to be in as much pain so maybe....just maybe this steroid shot will work. I am hoping that PT goes better next week in addition to this shot.

We just bought a new house out of the city (A long time prayer) and will be closing and moving this month!!!! I need to be able to get around better than I am right now. There is so much to do, plus work, take care of the kids and we have 2 weddings the next 2 Saturdays. June is going to be extremely hectic, exciting, exhausting and trying. I do need my mind to be in the right place if not my body.

I will take all the good wishes and advice and try very hard to put them to use. The Lord has blessed us so much lately and I know that He is teaching me perserverance and patience right now. I may not have the summer that I was hoping to have - more comfortable and able to not feel foolish in shorts - but hopefully I will have one next year.

Congrats to all who have reached milestones this week and/or moved into new clubs!! Way to go!!!

[Linda]

Hi Michelle, I really feel for you because I've been through similar things with my hip before. I know the first few days after the shots, it seemed like it was worse because the pain from the shot itself was added to the pain already there. By day 3 or so, I began to feel improvement and it slowly got better. Know that physical therapy can aggravate the condition if done too vigorously, so don't be afraid to tell the therapist if you think it is too much.

Good luck this month and try to rest every opportunity you get. Sending warm wishes and hugs your way!

[Arklahoma]

The things that you're going through are not fun but you're experiencing this for a reason. Keep your chin up b/c it's all in God's timing. Just remember, if His eye is on the sparrow then it's certainly on us in our time of need.