The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[24KaratGold]

All I want to do right now is eat. I'm not particularly hungry, but I'm feeling (childishly) deprived. I want more food, and I want it NOW. It's not that I want to binge, it's that I want to taste things that I haven't tasted in awhile. There are frozen blueberries calling my name. And not just those, but that sort of thing.

I am working on a work-related project on my laptop here at home right now, and as soon as I get it done (I'm taking a short break) I'm going to bed to try to ditch this thing. I have felt it coming since Sunday, when I told my family "I'm tired of doing Medifast. But I'm not tired of losing weight, so I guess I still have to do Medifast." (I think Aunt Flo may come to visit early next week, so maybe that is part of it.)

I've cheated today. Not outrageously, but a cheat is a cheat, right?

Today I've had: oatmeal and orange crystal light for breakfast around 7:30; a lemon bar at 10:30; chicken with wild rice soup at 1:30; a DC shake around 4:30; Medifast chili with Medifast crackers at 7:00; two scrambled eggs (no butter, Pam) with onion at 9:00, and just now I opened and ate a packet of the Medifast chicken salad. I've also had six of the little sweetened-with-Splenda gherkins (total 4 calories, 4 carbs), lots of water (about 85 ounces), ONE diet coke (I've weaned myself off all but one a day), and two cups of tea with one of those little pre-packaged thingies of half and half per cup.

I walked for maybe 25 minutes at lunchtime. (Funny, I bought four solid chocolate Easter bunnies on my walk, for my family's easter baskets, and there are Cadbury creme eggs in the kitchen. In years past I have looked forward to easter for the sake of the creme eggs, lol. Yet I have no desire to eat any of that; they are not calling my name.)

Yes I am stressed out, for any number of reasons.

Oh. And I had a half a teaspoon of crunchy peanut butter.

This is the worst I've been non-compliant since I started. I think my worst previous cheat was a hardboiled egg a couple of Sunday mornings ago.

I am sitting here wearing the green pants I tried so hard to get back in to (they are big on me now, and need a belt), and the 18W black shirt I bought at Nordie's last month to replace the 22W one I shrank out of. And I keep reminding myself of the black leather jacket, size XL, that I bought on Sunday, that needs me to lose about ten more pounds to be able to wear, without it looking way too tight.

And I haven't even mentioned the Italian suede halter top, size 14 (not 14W), that I bought with every intention of wearing this summer.

My birthday is in seven and a half weeks, and I had wanted to be below 200 by then. I don't think that will happen, but if I stay compliant I think I can be pretty darn close, and I keep thinking about that, too. I was a teenager the last time I weighed less than 200 pounds.

And I'm feeling just a bit lightheaded and dizzy at the moment.

This post is rambling, and that's not my usual style. I apologize.

And most of you are in time zones east of me, and long to bed by now. Sigh. I am going to go back to finish that project, and go to bed and try to tough this one out.

ETA: Yup, the "who's online" show's I'm the only one here. Guess I'll see y'all tomorrow.

[24KaratGold]

Phew! Project done, with no more nibbles!

I'm off to bed -- g'nite, all.

[LadyinVA]

24K....I can really relate to this post. I ended up nibbling and tasting quite a bit yesterday (and on things that weren't really worth it). I actually hit the 30 lb mark yesterday morning and I'm sure that I'm not there this morning! I'm afraid to get on the scale to see, but I can really feel that I am retaining water from being non-compliant yesterday. I'm not sure why I sabataged myself after finally seeing a drop on the scale yesterday. Just feeling deprived, although, like you said, but not tired of losing weight.

...........Anyway, needless to say, I'll be drinking TONS of water today to try to flush all of this out of me and get back on track today. Congratulate yourself....at least your cheats were still pretty program compliant (except of the SMALL amt of peanut butter). You went to bed before doing any major damage.

[Kauket]

g'morning 24k! Congrats on making it through without too many extras. AF kicks my .... every month when it comes to snacking. Even before MF I would gain 5 lbs the week before and spend the rest of the month trying to lose it. Last week though, I did ok. I fell off the wagon but didn't gain any weight back, so I consider it a victory. (of sorts.) But, all my excuses are gone, and I'm back full force. Don't let what happened to you yesterday negatively affect you today. (At least, that's what I keep telling myself)

[kassilou]

Hey, 24K. Is today going any better? I know what you mean about wanting something different to eat. Last night I made my daughter some toast with pb&j on it...I just wanted to have a piece of toast, too! I wanted bread! So I ended up making my last meal my oatmeal cookies. (Those have saved me more than once.)

It's all a head game, and being stressed just shows me how close I will always be to crossing that line. I watched "The Apprentice" last night and one of the contestants has taken up smoking again after having quit for five years. He says that shows how much stress they are all under. I told my husband I could never go on that show (like I could anyway!) just because of what the stress would do to me.

I'm glad you came here to talk about what was going on rather than turning to the food. A cheat is a cheat, but you recognized it and stopped. I'm scared of what one cheat could do to me, so I congratulate you on stopping yourself.

I am being deprived of food. I am choosing to deprive myself of food until my goal is reached and my body is healthy. Hopefully my mind will be ready to make the healthy choices for my body so that I can enjoy, in moderation, some of the things I am depriving myself of now. When I want something "right now", I remind myself that I can have it, but not "right now". Sometimes telling myself that works, and I feel like an adult who is in control, and sometimes I feel like a child who wants to throw a fit because I just want it now!!

You've done so well, 24K. You've got a lot going on in your head, in your body, and in your life. Deal with everything as best as you can, and stay compliant. This is not easy. This is a huge undertaking we are all committing ourselves to. You can do it! Look at how big those old clothes are on you! Look at how very close you are to having that little leather jacket fit great! Do not give that up! Nothing you can eat will give you as much or as long-lasting a pleasure as being able to fit into those smaller clothes.

Ok, I'm rambling, too. Keep reading, keep posting, keep shaking!

[raederle]

I was so happy to see your morning post telling us you'd made it through without cheating! You did it!

Looks like we've all been there, huh? I've certainly been guilty of the nibble/bite/lick syndrome, and fell off the wagon because of it for a couple weeks last month. But look at your cheat-- it was nuthin'! I mean, you had some MF chicken salad and a half teaspoon of peanut butter, but were otherwise 100% compliant and got in some exercise to boot. I'm so glad you didn't use that as an excuse to keep cheating, because I bet that tiny foodie interlude will have no effect on your loss whatsoever. You're doing great, you stayed strong, and that leather jacket will FIT!!!

Like the other gals, I totally know what you mean about craving other foods. I don't really want cake and ice cream, or even pizza and nachos; I want fat free yogurt, a banana, maybe some tomato juice and a bowl of high-fiber, low-fat cereal-- and your blueberries would go great on top! Funny, huh? I'm not even sure what's keeping me hanging on, frankly. Sheer anger at myself, probably. Or maybe at the Fat Gods who are trying to sabotage me. Anger at the years I spent fat and miserable while other people were thin and happy. Who knows...

But Kass is right-- you were stronger than the cravings; you came here and vented instead of eating, and that is AWESOME!!! Go, woman, go! That halter top will be too loose to wear this summer-- I hope it's adjustable so you can tie it tight around your skinny bod...!

[dlr2424]

maybe at the Fat Gods who are trying to sabotage me.

Rae - I like that ...The Fat Gods.... ..they're devious little devils who delight in flabbage....however the THIN GODS will reign...

24K....don't beat yourself up...your cheat may have been a cheat but it was MF.........You are beautiful...successful... so positive & that little thinny body will be shinning thru in no time......we are already seeing glimpses of it now ....Keep up the excellant work

Donna...dlr2424

[24KaratGold]

Ah. Good morning. I'm a slug-a-bed; didn't get up until about half an hour ago (that would be just before 8 my time), but since I got that project done last night and sent it electronically to my work printer, my secretary can deal with it even if I don't get in to the office for another hour.

I am sitting here eating my oatmeal and drinking my crystal lite, and feeling better than I did last night. It really, really helped to be able to write that post, and to know that when I got up this morning there would be support from you folks, and I thank you for it. At the moment I'm back on track, and we'll see what the day brings.

Amusingly, I got on the scale this morning. I wanted to know if I had done any damage. I had last weighed on Wednesday (I don't normally weigh every day, but I'm anxiously looking for that last pound to get me into the 40 pound club), and was at 231 that morning, half a pound higher than on Sunday. This morning it was at 228! So I've hit the 40 pound club, but it's not "official" until Sunday weigh-in. Ah, ritual. LOL

Nancy has said that her personal experience was that she often got the hungries right before dropping some major lardage, and it looks like that's the same thing that happened for me. So that's something to remember the next time that sort of mood hits.

Have a great Friday, all. And thanks again for being here when I need you.

[sister]

24K ~

I was so happy to see your post this morning. I think I had the same day yesterday! I wanted to post last night, to vent, but didn't. I seldom post here but read everyday.
My daughter has been very sick this whole week. Between regular responsibilities, we are building a new house, her, and sleep deprivation since Monday, I was just about done in last night.
I didn't feel like cooking and was SICK of the MF choices. It crossed my mind to just grab something - how much could just once really hurt?
Despite being tired and cranky and Aunt Flo showing up too last night, I fixed me a huge salad and but lots of roasted chicken on it. The entire 15 minutes of prep I'm trying to talk myself into the easy way out but my hands just kept fixing the salad. Guess I was in zombie mode. I barely got halfway through eating it (I made it way too big) and was stuffed! I suppose another MF moment - it was the same feeling as if I had eaten a bowl of cereal, grabbed the ice cream, or went to a fast food drive thru.
I stuck it out. I'm at 38 pounds in a little less than 10 weeks - why mess that up?
It's funny to me to see how we see a "cheat" now.
You had more MF food and peanut butter. Six months ago, what would it have been? Pizza and a Reese's?
You're doing great! Hang in there. We've been pretty much the same through our weight loss journey so far. Your wise words here keep me going alot. THANK YOU!!!
Everyone here is doing great. I'm glad we have each other to help get through the "life stuff" as we continue to be successful in losing weight.

Many thanks to Nancy, Terry and Tim for giving us this special place.

We can do this ~ we ARE doing this!!

Sherri

[cthrn007]

Thanks for posting your struggle yesterday 24K. We ALL feel like that from time to time and I congratulate you for grabbing another Medimeal and only having a spoon of PB...before MF we all might have grabbed a chair and had a jar of PB before we knew it!!

Although a cheat... that is a huge success that will help you for a lifetime. Adding a extra healthy meal to your day in effort to avoid a HUGE Cheat... if we all would have been able to do that we all probably wouldn't be here!!

I can't tell you how many times the Oatmeal cookies have saved me from a cheat... and ever since I learned that another shake won't cause you to fall outta ketosis... I have an extra one on hand always!

Hang in there this week & keep up the good choices!!
~C

[Sylvia]

First, you guys are all doing great! No one said this would be easy. Some of you are in this for the long haul and it is really hard to do this consistently for a long time. Sometimes you are spolied in that it is really easy for weeks and months at a time. You rarely think about food and wouldn't dream of cheating. Then there are the other times - like now for many of you - where every hour is a struggle and you seem to be fighting with yourself constantly.

This is much more mental than it is physical. If you must cheat - and I think almost everyone does cheat eventually - make it a small cheat. I fundamentally stayed true to the program for over 6 months with very lttle "real" cheating. Does that mean I was absolutely 100% compliant every single day? Honestly, no. There were occasions where I had 2 lean and greens in one day. There were othjer situations where I had too much lean with my green. There were situations where I snitched some of the protein my family was having and still had my own dinner. Should I have done these things? No. Did they hurt my efforts? Who can say? All I know is that I lost the same during the time periods when I cheated as I did during those periods where I didn't.

What's most important is that you caught yourself, came here for support and got right back on the train. I hope today is easier for all of you. If it isn't - keep on fighting through it. It's well worth all of the sacrifice and effort.

Sylvia

[doglover]

Thanks Sylvia - and everyone - for the honesty. I found myself yesterday taking that one small, tiny, tiny, bite of peanut butter after I made my kids a sandwhich! It was a habit, I didn't think about it untuil my mouth was going - what????

I felt bad, but then realized this is part of the learning process. I need to remember that I eat out of habit, out of boredom, from tiredness, from emotions. Not just bec. I'm hungry!

I'm afraid to cheat and lose wieght. I think that would really sabotage my program as my cheating would get bigger and bigger and I could then justify it. So, as much as I wanted to try to barf up that PB, I didn't (that would put me right into the eating disorder category!). I learned a lesson from it.

On another topic - help me pray that the MF gods bring my new order quickly! I have been so distracted that I realized I am WAY down on supplies. I order a bit over $200 today to try to get the free express shipping. I am so hopeful it gets here QUICK! If it doesn't come until Wed like the lady said, I may be in BIG trouble! I am now eating a lean/green as I am trying to ration the food! YIKES! DUMB!!

[Unca_Tim]

Should be no prob getting there by wednesday Donna, if you got the fedx 3 day....

I'll say a little prayer to the Medifast gods, just in case...

[24KaratGold]

I've had my MF orders show up at my door before I've even gotten the confirming email! I bet you have it no later than Tuesday, Donna. Hang in there!