The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[gillian]

Alright, I did not read the rules. I did not read anyone elses posts. I am writing because I think it may help to stick to the plan... Okay- here goes- My name is Gillian and I live in Las VEgas, Nv. Life is good here. I gained a bunch of weight with my last daughter who was born in 1999. She was concieved after I had been clean off meth for 6 months. I did not care too much about gaining the weight, in fact, my body had been so depleated for so long, it was welcome! I look back on my fatness then (246 pounds) and I can honestly say I was happy! Nobody really noticed me- for dates and stuff- although I have a killer personality... i did not really care. I went to culinary school, that was great. I got to taste EVERYTHING!!! Well, I cannot remember the year, okay, let's think here, my daughter was going into the first grade, it was the first day of school. went to walk her to school , wearing pj bottems, you know... Good grief! There was this man there- his kid looked like the little guy from Stewart Little.... I mentione3d that- man stated that kid hated to hear that- and he kinda blew me off. I thoght he was pretty fine... Well, Im feb of that year, I made the desesion that I was going to date him, and the only way that i coulod do that was to lose weight. So, I got on Medifast. I lost almost 100 pounds and I looked amazing! On the last day of school, Mr. Dad asked me out for a beer. I don't drink but I was thrilled to go along and nurse a diet coke.... needless to say, one beer turned into 3.5 years... until one day Mr. Dad called to say he was not coming home anymore... we were planning to get married... i loved him so much. the sun rose around him... i thought i would never live through the horrible pain... i thought about killing myself, but I have two kids.... i mean honestly, I was so DEPRESSED. I could not get out of bed. I lost our house, quit my job and cried. For months. My kids started bringing me cake. And potatoes. And chips. And everything yummy that i never ate anymore. And, I began my attempt at killing myself with out really putting out any effort. All I had to do was lift my arm to my mouth. Now, here I am, 100 pounds later, and I want to live. I wear a size 24- the biggest size the stores have. I weigh 272 and I started Medifast again today. Really started. To be honest with you, I have started 100 times in the last year. Instead of srinking a shake every three hours, like i used to, I am drinking them every two hours. I figure that the worst thing that can happen is that i have to go to bed eailier... I am ready for this. I was told at the hospitable that my liver has fat deposits on it, and if I dont watch it, i will develop non acho. serosis of the liver. Hilarious. But, I also found it is totally cureable, all I have to do is lose weight. OH! The funniest thing about my liver is that I found out about it 6 months ago! So, back to today. Here i am. Please join me in this journey to become what God truely wants me to be. Thank you for letting me say so much. Hopefully this all does not get erased when I go to post it.