The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

By The Way,

Sheryl??????????????

Where are you? Get your puter plugged back in and let us know how you're doing, I'm worrying about you.

Carrie

[DutchChoc]

Ha, my friends. I guess it did me good to unravel a bit last night because it sure did feel good knowing there's nothing wrong with me for being annoyed at that "elevated" stinginess trip he's on so much of the time.

Fedup, I laughed at the stupid thing comment you got. Here's one for you, from mine: "You look so good being thin. Now if only we could get the top half of you fixed you would be a complete package." Of course he's talking breast augmentation. Something else fat-looking I could put on after finally getting slender, I guess.



Thanks for the support. Yes, we have to find other ways to reinforce what we want and need than to rely upon "some" people. This is a great place for that. Thanks for understanding. It's so true, Carrie, about dragging along to a place at which one could finally say, "I made it", where I'm not yet anyway, by the way, and then to find that someone thinks that while you're at it, you should see how much smaller you can get. Like he said, "When are you ever going to have this chance again?" Well, part of me understands that, but, well, YOU know.... I feel it's likely he just wants to keep me busy until Thanksgiving doing this same thing so I won't "get fat" before that trip... in which case I'd truly be miserable, I WOULD, but I'm driving myself nuts these days looking at recipes (my fault) and wishing I could anticipate my next meal, lol!!

Simmshe, like Carrie said, surely you're nearly back & connected again? Sorry for ragging on your thread with my dirty laundry yesterday... but I felt pretty sure you'd be OK with it.

[Sylvia]

DC - If my husband EVER said anything like that he would no longer be living. Maybe you need to look for an upgrade...

[DutchChoc]

Yeah, Sylvia, I don't like off-handed remarks much, either. I'm sure you'd have no reason to doubt my story were I to tell you that before when I was 137-ish and in my best shape, like the gym picture, he criticized me for looking "like a boy" rather than tell me that he had a good-looking "woman". That's one reason I quit "trying to impress him" by looking good (IMO). That's when I was REALLY dumb.... now I'm just smart enough to know what I like and that I need to have it for myself even if it looks like trash to him. I COUNT.

[sudaoning]

Camille you are RIGHT ON girl! and Dutch you know I agree with Camille 100%

Dutch, examine this relationship closely and see if it is adding more positive or negative factors to your life.

All these with ruffles feathers and raised hackles can't be all wrong, girl.

[DutchChoc]

I guess I easily "take the blame" just in case I "could be" misrepresenting the story, which I sometimes think I do, like underrepresenting the plusses and openly stating the irks when they occur. I fully understand the range of possibilities and even know that something "could be" better, except I wonder if I'd pick at that, or whatever, just the same way eventually. Thanks for caring and I'm keeping everything in mind. There are more doors open than windows closed right now thanks, in large part, to my growing self-esteem.

[fedup]

Dutch--

My weekend was crazy so I didn't log in... I just read your comment you got from the SO, sounds sooooooo familiar! Why can't men learn to just sit quietly in the corner, and we'll dust them off when we need them?! Oops, did I say that outloud?

I know where your coming from, relationships can be complicated. I'm in a similar boat, and even while I gripe about the bad/irritating stuff there's a lot of good too... but sometimes I agree with what sudaoning said, is my relationship bringing me more stress than good.... but then again there are all these other factors, (in my case our little girl, who is biologically his but I've raised her since she was a baby!)

I think what matters is remembering that we have to put ourselves first. It sounds like your doing that now, and I know I'm doing that myself for the first time in quite a while! No matter what the relationship with the SO brings, we're doing this for US, and we know that!

[Simmshe]

Ahh, I'm so late! Feel like I've been gone for months!

Anyways, wanted to thank Christy and Lady Champ for what you wrote about depression . It's nice to know when someone else understands what another person goes through--it can feel very isolating sometimes. Clinical depression is often a misunderstood beast. I'm feeling much, much better mentally/emotionally now, too. I'm also one of those people with severe PMS symptoms sometimes (I'm pretty sure I have PMDD), and being premenstrual the week before last really exacerbated my emotions. I'm feeling better now and am going to continue with medication that I just started retaking and continue to do my own innerwork and counseling, which have been very helpful for me .

And Nancy, you are so right about the health benefits of Medifast. This nutrition is so great, and following a relatively low-sugar diet, like Medifast, is really good with helping to balance moods. Since I started MF, a cyclical ovarian cyst (and subsequent cystic acne that it brought with it for the past couple of years went away). I swear, I didn't have a breakout from week two on Medifast until I went off plan a few weeks ago! And this was miraculous to me--I swear I had been fighting this problem for almost three years to no avail. I feel confident that continuing on Medifast, even post-goal (as I plan to incorporate some MF nutrition permanently) that this will help to stabilize my moods (and hormones!! more). Thanks for your continuous support, too, Nancy .

DC, you've already received some encouraging, and kick butt words from the wonderful makemethinner ladies here, so I won't add much . I'm sorry to hear that your SO isn't as supportive of your weight loss/goals as you deserve. You give so much here and definitely deserve to have a right-hand man who is super supportive of you, too. I'm sorry, but nonconstructive criticism should not be a part of any relationship, in my opinion. I chuckled at Sylvia's comment:

DC - If my husband EVER said anything like that he would no longer be living. Maybe you need to look for an upgrade...

I so would have drop kicked my boyfriend if he had said some of the comments that you SO has said to you.
It's funny--I can criticize and berate myself ad nauseum, but will have NONE of it from anyone else, period. Anyways, just continue taking care of you, as you are doing so wonderfully for yourself. You are right--YOU COUNT! Eventually, we all have the wisdom and courage to know what we need and want, and when we do, we act on getting these things and letting go of other things. Keep doing you--you are inspiration to us all .

Sheryl

[Nancy]

Hmm..I'd like to send Guido over to give SO a major noggin' noogie...

why is it that we allow the opinions and words of others to determine our self-worth and to become the barometer of our days?
It is SO very important, People to regularly read POSITIVE books and to hang out with POSITIVE people. Listen to positive music. Watch positive movies or TV shows!

Crap-o-lah in, crap-o-lah out.

Crap-o-lah thoughts in, crap-o-lah runs around in our cerebellum and attacks the good rightful and truthful stuff in there and all too soon we begin to dwell upon the crap-o-lah and eventually we believe it and allow it to become our own truth.

Our mental and physical health depend upon focusing on things that are true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent and worthy.

If it ain't good and true, reject it.

Don't allow it to remain in the cranium!

It seems so bizarro that we somehow allow the comments others to affect us so greatly.

We permit the negatory words and comments of others to become more significant than our own.

Why is it that we permit others to become MORE significant than we are?

Why is it that we allow Significant Others to become more significant than they ought to be?

Hmm? Whatcha gonna do about that?

I had to reform my thinkin'.

I got rid of some of the toxic relationships I had.

Like eating reformation, some of us need mental reformation and relationship reformation.

There are some relationships that truly cannot be dumped or changed. Sometimes there are no other options in terms of ending a relationship therefore we MUST learn to change our attitude and the way we think about it.

Gulp. The other person may never ever change.

Therefore, we must learn to go forward but to not allow the words and actions of toxic people to set us off.

Do not allow them MORE power than they ought to have, do not allow them to control us, to set the tone for our day or our life.
The old adage, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" is not always true.

Words CAN KILL us, IF we ALLOW them to.

Who's in control of the way I think?

Who's in control of the way I act and react?

Moi...

For me, no more tragedies, just triumphs!

How 'boutchoo??

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, you guys. I'm taking in the positive thoughts. So well said, Nancy. I'm the STO -- Significant This One rather than the significant other, and I need to keep that in mind, along with all the other good stuff, because somehow this has become a trying time for me on this program. I think it's bugging me to be so close, kind of like knowing that it must be nearly time to mess up or stop because OTHERWISE I might make it!! Yes, sir-ee, I've worked a lifetime to have contorted patterns of thinking and it's time to realize that this is STILL a different time and I'm not going to "turncoat" away when I'm just such a short distance away.

On the other hand, I have to say that SO is not prompting me to "eat", which is good because hearing it from him might give me cause to stop my fast. Tomorrow is day 100. When I set my sights on making it to that on shakes only, I never thought it was possible.

Sheryl, glad you're back and feeling good again. Hope you do not move or leave again for a long while. Thanks for your caring words and we're here for you, too.

[Nancy]

Dutch, you're standing on the threshold your goal...

we are happy for you, Kid.

You are about to greet Day # 100.

It feels so wonderful to reach a goal. You are

steadfast
unwavering
diligent
resolute
persistent
committed
unswerving
patient
focused
determined
unrelenting
constant
careful
conscientious
single-minded
pro-active
firm
unshakable

Have you given thought to transition yet?

Be SURE to read my Nov. 2003 Newsletter - don't wantcha to have a blow out in your sitting room like I did...

I made it through Day 1.
So far.

I'm not in bed yet...

[sudaoning]

Nancy you are right on as always !
Congratulations for Day 1!
Is it not so wonderful that you are able to do this for yourself and not simply console yourself over a few gained pounds with a few more pounds of food?!
You and Mike and others how have made and maintained goal are our shining star of hope!

You Go LW!

Duch, you have had the strength and resolution to make this major change in your life. If you look inside, you will find that you have whatever is needed to make whatever other changes you find good and right for you.

[BerkshireGrl]

DC,

I just read your post about your SO's reaction to you wanting a new pair of pants. GRRRRR ARGH!

I'm going to try to restrain myself here and not go off a rant about unappreciative SO's, but you look wonderful RIGHT NOW! 125 is THIN. Heck, my little BMI chart says to be at a 20 BMI, the minimum for adults at 5'6" is 124. There is a lot of research on the links between BMI and health, and once people start getting UNDER 20, risks of disease can actually rise. Sounds goofy but hey... maybe the bod likes to have a little insulation after all!

So, if you want 125 to be your goal, I think that's the way it should be. You have busted your butt, figuratively and literally, to get where you are today. You are AN INSPIRATION to me, and to us.

"Scheming"? You know, I think I still have my bullwhip from my Indiana Jones the Archaeologist phase (due to the Archaeology college major and grad school classes) - and Dulles ain't THAT far from Massachusetts

You just take care of yourself and do what's right for you!! The other women here are 100% correct, there are always other options, fish in the pond, ya know what I'm sayin'?

AND... to you for making it to Day 100 of Shakes Only! WOW! You willpower is made of granite I must say... you're awesome... so don't ever let someone make you feel worthless.

Or I'm putting on my fedora!

[fedup]

Nancy-- I can't say it enough... I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your post about positive thinking, keeping SO's in the right place, mental reformation. Everything you said is so true, and it's things I myself need to hear from time to time. I'm going to print that out and keep it for my own personal motivator. You put everything in a nutshell, in just the right words!

Some relationships do need to be ditched, and for some that's really not feasible, but my own attitude and reactions to a negative person are MY OWN. I can let it "ruin my day, my week, my year" or NOT. My SO is bipolar, so there's a lot of baggage there, and it's hard sometimes to keep the disorder and the person separate. Your words truly help. As I said, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your post.

[Nancy]

Sarah,

Please keep that Indiana Jones bullwhip handy, just in case Guido and Spidey are busy knockin' heads and doin' the noogie boogie elsewhere else on the planet, ok?

BTW, isn't that Harrison Ford a hunkster?

Maybe HE could come in person and remove those Not As Significant significant Others from their pedestals and place them on the level ground...

Dutch ~

It's YOUR special day! Whee!

We are doing the Hamster Happy Dance here at the MakeMeThinner Cottage just for YOU!

Weigh to go! Was the scale kind to you?