The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Arklahoma]

In addition to working full time, I also attend school part time. Last night, I showed up over an hour before class so I thought I'd talk a walk. This is a new university for me so I thought the exploration would be fun. Well, I almost tripped into a viper's pit. I walked right into the student union and into the food court before I even knew where I was. The food smell was very overwhelming and I walked right over and got in line to buy some food. It took me a good 30 seconds to realize what I was doing and I stepped out of line. Now I'd like to say that I automatically left the area, but I'm ashamed to say that I did not. There were several food choices and I was pondering a semi-cheat (I'm on the complete plan). I thought, what's the harm in a piece of chicken or a light salad, you know, a L/G. As I stood there, the pizza looked amazing and I pondered a real cheat. You know the voices that go through your head, "no one will know" or "you'll burn it off" or my favorite "I'm eating practically nothing anyway so this would be my reward for doing a good job". Unfortunately, I stood there for a couple of minutes before I realized what I was doing. There's a hallway right in front of the food court so I stepped into the hallway and literally would start to walk away and then I'd turn back and ponder again. I have to wonder what anybody around was thinking about the fat girl pacing back and forth in front of the food court.

Since I had the proverbial angel on one shoulder and demon on the other, and couldn't make a decision, I finally decided to not make a decision. I stepped away from the food court and purchased a diet pepsi, sat down and had a chat with myself. I told myself that all food is okay in moderation and that I just needed to wait. I ate my MF bar and told myself that if I truly needed to cheat then I would feel the same way after class (my class is three hours long) and I should wait until then to see how I felt. At the time, I was really struggling but I had no idea how this would play out so I kept walking and went to class. I'm so glad that I did b/c when I got to class I felt so much better and energized.

I don't know how many of you are obese but I'm still over a hundred pounds overweight and going to class is very stressful b/c of those little, tiny children's desks they make you sit in. It's like trying to fit a marshmallow into a vice grip, I'll tell you. Anyway, when I got to class I was completely in shock b/c the chair was much more comfortable than before and the distance between my abdomen and the desk was about two inches!!! It's been two weeks since I was in class because of spring break but somehow over those two weeks I cut two inches off because my abdomen used to touch the desk. I can't even begin to tell you how huge this is!!!

Obviously, I certainly didn't need any food after class because I was floating on cloud nine. When I was in the food court, fighting for my life, I could never have imagined how I would feel in one silly hour and I'm so proud of myself for the choice that I made.

[dede4wd]

Oh MY GOD! You did so good! When I was struck with those situations. I told myself to wait a 1/2 hour and see if I was going to die without (whatever it was). 1/2 hour later I had forgotten all about it!

I KNOW it's a battle, I can also tell you that it was a victory! Plus, you had the actual PROOF of the victory, courtesy of the desk! Those foods will be there in moderation when we're done. Right now, we have to take care of us, work the plan and the plan will work for us!

I am SO SO SO SO proud of you!

Good job!

DeDe


We're winning, can't you tell?

Edited because of terrible spelling!

[Arklahoma]

dede4wd ... thanks so much for your reply and your praise. I'm really trying to be humble but I'm so proud of myself, as well, and I'm so glad that I didn't cave in to a momentary lapse in judgment. At the time, the urge was sooo strong and I felt sooo weak.

We are winners!!!

[DogMa]

You SHOULD be proud of yourself!!! Doesn't it feel great when you resist temptation like that? I'm sure it'll pay off on the scale, too. Good job!!! You'll be fitting comfortably in those teeny-tiny chairs in no time!

[Arklahoma]

DogMa ... Thanks for the note and reminding me that I can be proud of myself. I don't know why, but I kind of feel guilty, like "why are you so proud that you controlled an urge" but on the other hand I feel like a million bucks! I'm just trying to utilize a lot of + self-talk to drown out the - voices.

I can't wait until I can cross my legs under those teeny, tiny chairs.

[Mom23]

You are awesome! I know that took a lot to walk away, but you did and you know why you did....congratulations, way to go, good job, etc. etc.

Keep on thinking THIN!

[Arklahoma]

Mom23 ... Thanks for the trophy. I feel #1 today! BTW, my sister's name is Bobbie Sue (crazy, but true).

[just_julie]

Way to go! Be proud!

I recently read that strong cravings last 2 minutes. That must have been the longest 2 minutes of your life! You did right to talk to yourself and make yourself wait it out. I always finish this sentence: "What I want more is..."

Congratulations again!

[lan]

You gave each of us plenty to think about and a tool to really use when we are tempted. I am proud of you--and you can be proud how much your story touched so many of us.
Thanks!
Lan

[dede4wd]

Feel GUILTY about thinking this was a big deal? Feel Guilty that you are proud of yourself for what you did (or in fact, didn't do)? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? When in our lives have we (speaking for myself here) resisted temptation. This IS a big deal, you did do wonderfully!

The more you beat yourself up for thinking this was a victory when it was something little, the more I'm going to dance around my house and cheer for you! You did GOOD! Don't try to tell me different.







Okay, 'nuff said.

DeDe

P.S. Never listen to the "voices"...they're big dumb liars and especially don't listen to them when they're talking about fire...but I digress (JUST KIDDING PEOPLE!)

[Jan]

You did great.
It is hard to walk past good smelling stuff and not be tempted. In fact we are all most likely tempted -- that's a human thing. But to walk by, pass it up, don't look back -- that's great. You are learning. Remember you know how that stuff tastes anyway. There's probably nothing new there -- just the same old fatty stuff. One day when you are at goal you'll be able to taste it again once in a while. But, I'll bet it won't taste nearly as good as you remembered. Your tastes will be changing and that's a good thing. I'll keep watching for you.
jan

[lan]

You are right, Jan, when you said it probably wouldn't taste as good.
Some time back, I fell off the wagon and ordered a double whopper and fries--the first time I had cheated like that in 8 months!
I have to tell you, I kept thinking to myself that this is not as good as what I thought it would be. In fact, I threw out most of the fries and part of the burger. Not for me--not now at least--I want to lose--I want to stick to the plan!

Great hearing from all of you tonight!
Lan

[falisamarie]

Sweetie you deserve a great big trophy and a great big hug but most of all a great great big

It is not easy resisting temptation but I can tell you this, it does get easier each time you resist! As I was reading your post it really enlightened me to something that happened in my own life tonight. I stopped reading for a second mid sentence and looked at my hubby and told him that for the first time I went to Pizza Gut...ah I mean Hut...to pick up a pizza for the family and did not even NOTICE the smell!

What you accomplished was huge! You should be proud of yourself and I am so glad that you shared it with all of us! If there is anyone in the world that understands exactly how big this victory was for you it is those of us here on this board.

You did great and I am so proud of you and happy for you!

Lisa

[2BHealthy]

Wow, how wonderful and inspirational this post is. I know how hard it is to fight this and you did a terrific job!

[ToyDiva]

YOU PASSED THE TEST! One of many, but this is a big one because the next time you are tempted you will remeber this victory and you will know for a fact that you can walk away.

Thanks for sharing your story. It was very inspirational.