Well, Lauren...
First, my sincere condolences on the passing of your grandmother.
Second, I am with Elizabeth! Bring on the new pics!!
Seriously though, I read your post and really empathized with what you are saying and can definitely find evidence in my life for some of things you talk about. I think as humans....well, I will speak for me...it is crushing to know that you are not loved conditionally. Period. And I think that is what MIGHT be bothering you. When people react to the new Lauren as they have, you're saying, "well dayum! Old Lauren derserved (and needed) your love, help and admiration too. Like you, I am in NY, I am a lawyer, a homeowner and as proud of me as my family is, it does hurt to know that they would sell my accomplishments to the devil if he would make me thin. I am so so serious. They totally would. And that really hurts.
I think all we can do it as most have said, go ahead and grieve old Lauren and take living in the world in your new skin one day at a time. Moment by moment. But don't let anyone bring you down. Life is so precious every moment we spend under a raincloud is wasted.
Now having said all that, woman I just looked up your pics to put a name to the face and.......dayum! Just kidding!
You have a made a fine accopmplishment and YA LOOK GOOD!! ACCEPT IT OWN IT WEAR IT LIKE A PAIR OF MANOLO'S (ok I am hungry I need a banana shake
).
I don't mean to be facetious or flip in the face of your grandma's passing, but I think it was "better" this event and not a cousin's wedding. The bride would never have forgiven you. You would have stolen the show.
I don't mean to write a book, I am just saying I see both sides. I see your side and I see their side - damaging though it is.
Without hijacking your post and making it about me, I get very scared and wonder if I will be a meanie because I have a tape recorded all the mean things people have said to me over the years (always friends or family - strangers are most kind LOL) and I wonder can I be trusted with a 100 lbs weight loss? Will I be kind? Will the old Nat vanish? I just know that one girl who was at (not in) my wedding had said to me that she was forcing her sis to go to the gym. I asked why. She said her sister was fat (I met her later - she is about a size 12) and unless "she wants to spend the rest of her life alone she better work off the fat." She said this to my face!
I was a size 24 at the time... She, a perpetual size 2.
I confess that whenever she calls these days me to whine about being alone at 36, I get flashbacks to that conversation and I get mad. 5 years hence, her sister and I (with our fat butts) are both happily married. I am sympathetic and encourage her but I secretly want to remind her of her words. But I have to get over it and be a friend to her.
I wish you the best Lauren. But come vent here when it gets bad. You seem like a fantastic person..then and now.