The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[guest]

Hi guys. I could really use a few shoulders to lean on today. Sometimes, I wish I live in Antarctica, or some other really cold place. I feel so intimidated by the way some of these girls here in Hawaii dress. Barely anything at all. I have always been the "jealous tyoe", and would tag along with my husband if he wanted to go to the pool or beach. But yesterday and today, my son, who is a little overweight, wanted his Dad to take him to the pool so they could swim laps. Well, I know swimming is great excersice, so I just told them to go ahead and go. I didnt want to go, mainly because I didnt want every skinny girl there making me feel bad about myself. But partly, because I wanted to show my husband that I can be trusting. I wish I could just get over it already! Anyone else ever have these feelings????

[sheila]

that was me that posted this, sorry, I wasnt signed in

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

well i can relate to the skinny girls making you feel intimidated *hugs* but you have accomplished alot with your weight loss progress and you are beautiful , make sure you are telling yourself that because when you do get to your goal you dont want to still be thinking they look better :P

[dede4wd]

Sheila, it's the same thing ALL over! In Phoenix, most of the girls are wearing NEXT to nothing and they make Keira Knightley look like a lard-bucket! I don't worry about those girls. I don't worry about what ANYBODY says about me. It took me a LONG time to get to that place in my head and I hope you can get there too.

If I think or say something NASTY about another girl who is physically perfect, I MAKE myself say or think something nice about her too. I don't know WHY I do that. I just quit comparing myself to them. They're probably not as smart, smart-ass, or funny as me anyway? Same with you! Plus, you're doing GREAT and will be in a teeny weeny little outfit soon!

As for the trusting/jealousy issue, I can't answer any of that because I'm TERMINALLY single, but just remember that there's a BIG difference between looking at the menu and ordering something!

I work with ALL men and my perspective is a little different because of the people I spend time with. Men look at a pair of cupcakes or a good heiney the way I look at a pair of GREAT shoes, it's "great shoes, wish I had them...they're probably 2 weeks salary and would give me blisters...oh well back to my coffee" You know? They just look! It doesn't mean they want to kick their shoes off and go get THAT pair of shoes, they're just looking at the shoes! Okay, I don't think I'm making any sense!

He's with YOU and there's a DAING good reason he's with you! You're beautiful and nice and funny! So...

I hope this helps

[sheila]

Thanks DeDe. I know what youre saying. Its just been one of those days. You are doing awesome, by the way. Ive been watching your ticker, and that is so impressive! Great job! I hope you all had a great time tonight. You deserve it!

[falisamarie]

Sheila~

I know exactly what you are saying. Look at the positive in this though, you stood in faith and did not tag along with your hubby to the pool! We all have reasons when we have problems trusting and you are overcoming and learning to trust, I know that is not easy being that I had to do the same thing. You are a beautiful person inside and out and while losing this weight will make you an absolute knock out when you reach goal, I have a feeling that your husband loves you for who you are inside which far outshines ANYONES outward beauty!

LIsa

[summerblue]

WOW - you're a BEAUTIFUL girl and you've lost a great deal of weight! Don't compare yourself to anyone, I know it's easier said than done - but when you start doing it - make a concious effort to STOP. Just like you've made the effort to do MF.

I stopped the personal dialouge I used to have with myself years ago (just after high school). What I realized is that BOTTOMLINE, I can't read people's minds and spending all of my time second guessing what they might be thinking is a WASTE of my time.

I also made that same effort to NOT consistently worry about what my husband did (we've married 13 years) and if he's going to do something he's not suppose to do, it's on HIM, not me and I'm not going to (again) waste my time worrying about something that I have no control over or if soemthing *might* happen - to me, it's wasted energy that I could put to something else. After being married 13 years and together 15 total - our marriage and relationship is about MUCH more than how I physically look.

Of course this is all just my opinion and how I have dealt with those situations.

You're doing soooo great on MF - give yourself some credit!

........Mara

[Unca_Tim]

I'm terrible at remembering quotes, but just this weekend at our TSFL conference I heard a speaker say something like this:

"If you knew how very little people thought about you, you wouldn't think about it at all."

[supermom]

I know that your outside appearance is something that you think about. I think about mine all the time. I am so bad about putting myself down. And, here on the forum we ALL talk about getting skinny and lookin good. What we should talk about more, is how good we feel, and how much more healthy we are. Your husband didn't marry your body. He married your soul. He married the good and kind person you are. He married the woman that is a great mother to his child. He married a woman he could trust and depend on to be there even when the waters are rough. Whether you are thick, or thin, it matters not to him. Be proud of who you are. Because in fact you are beautiful. This wonderful soul that God has given you lives in a beautiful body. I can see that, your family can see that, and if you carry yourself with pride, everyone out there will see that. People who criticize and scruitinize others based on appearance are usually insecure about something within themselves. Don't let the small stuff get you down. Think about what really matters. Your health. Then, live life to the fullest. Enjoy each day to the fullest. We never know how many days we have left.

<img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_3_37.gif" alt="Angel Glitter" border="0">

[mommaof3boys]

Well said supermom

[2BHealthy]

I just wanted to tell you that you have gotten some great advice. DeDe, I LOVE the shoe analogy I have to put that on a wall somewhere so I can look at it!
I can completely relate to what you are saying...I used to be the one who would go to the pool with my husband and "scan" the area for women thinner and prettier than me Then I would make myself paranoid that he would look at them! UGH, I still fight with that sometimes but everyone is so right. It really isn't worth our time to worry about things like that. We just have to remember that we all have our "gifts" and things to offer. They aren't more beautiful than you are anyway...it's just your opinion

[MusicalMomma]

I gotta agree with Unca...people pay WAY less attention to us than we think. The ONE good thing about our move to Wisconsin is that most of the people here struggle with weight and I fit right in HAHA!

Seriously though, don't let life pass you by for fear of what others think about or say about you. I have wasted enough time worrying about what shallow little beauty queens think or say about me. They all have their issues that they deal with. Their issues just don't show on the surface.

Enjoy life NOW...don't wait until you're "thin" to start living...the truth is, fat or thin, you will still be you...love YOU, love life

*stepping down from the soap box now

[Ct. Yankee]

Wonderful post, Joyce, I totally agree with you!!

Joan

[dede4wd]

Missanne sent this to me today and it reminded me of this thread:

Woman to Woman Encouragement

Someone will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will
drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their
partners will fix more things around the house. So let it go and love
you and your circumstances. Think about it. The prettiest woman in the
world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on
your job may be unable to have children. The richest woman you know -
she's got the car, the house, the clothes - might be heartbreakingly
lonely. So, love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself, "I am
too blessed to be stressed." Be blessed ladies and pass this on to
encourage another woman. "To the world you might be one person, but to
one person you just might be the world." Possibilities and miracles are one and the same.

DeDe

[Nova]

I don't remember where I heard or read this from, but I think about it every time I'm in your situation. (Or in the gym, which is where I probably first heard it)

If you're worried that the skinny girls or the macho guys are gonna call you fat or make fun of you while you're exercising, or out shopping in a pair of shorts, don't. You can't know what people are thinking, and no one is going to shout out across the room 'look at that fat woman on the treadmill.' Even if they are thinking it, they aren't saying it, so it just doesn't matter. You'll never hear it. Besides, they're too worried about what other people think of them. Concentrate on living your life well, being happy and striving to improve yourself. You're doing all of these to the fullest right now. Be happy and love yourself.

I hope that helps.