The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[alpha femme]

anyone had to make a hard decision that involved possibly betraying someone to serve a greater good? at least potentially keep others from harm?

okay, what if doing this act also constitutes an inadvertant act of revenge? doesn't that cloud the motivation/outcome?

let me give a metaphor as an example.

let's say you have a best friend who owns an auto dealership and sells you a car. it turns out the friend rolled back the o.d., threw in cheap parts, and knew the engine was blown. you confront him; he apologizes; he keeps doing the same thing.

now, turning him in will serve as an act of revenge, but it also protects others. the issue i am dealing with is nowhere near as simple.... but would you guys notify someone if someone who had seriously (very very seriously) wronged you was continuing the behavior with others?

[supermom]

Yes, I think I would. It has nothing to do with revenge, just protecting others from harm. For example: If my child was abused at childcare, would I tell the authorities to prevent it from happening to another child?? HECK YES!!! But, if it is something trivial, like, if my husband cheated on me (I know, not really all that trivial), then we divorced, then he remarried, then he came to me to try to cheat on his new wife. If I told her, it would probably be just for revenge. I don't have much sympathy for people who are naive enough to get into situations similar to this. Protect the helpless and those who need protected. If it is not a matter of legality, it is a moral dilemma, then I would say let your conscious be your guide.

[Prancer]

I think I would but it would depend on the situation. How involved and how many people would get hurt.

[alpha femme]

oddly enough, supermom, you hit it right on the head. it has to do with abuse and someone that works with children. would this person carry that behavior to the kids she works with? i have no idea. that's the problem.

[DogMa]

I was going to say what supermom said. But working with children changes things. It's one thing to not tell the new spouse or significant other, figuring caveat emptor.

But working with kids? I don't know. Is there any evidence at all that she's done anything to hurt a child? Then again, anger and control issues wouldn't be restricted to adults. You'd never know WHEN she was going to blow up.

I think if there's even a CHANCE that she might hurt a child, I'd probably speak up.

[dede4wd]

I think if there's even a CHANCE that she might hurt a child, I'd probably speak up.

I'm with you there. I stay out of things unless there's a potential for injury involved...but if you're messing with dogs, old people or kids, I'm in your face BIG TIME! Good luck with your choice, I KNOW you will do the right thing!

DeDe

[Sarya]

I am in complete agreement with Supermom. Now you have stated it definitely involves children. Children need the adults around them to stand up for them. They're children and they may not be able to tell someone if something bad is occuring. If you have a strong belief that this adult or adults may be harming children then yes, it sounds completely appropriate to tell someone. For the record, I don't think disciplining your children is necessarily harming them, but there is a line and it should not be crossed.

[Arklahoma]

This is definitely a tough one. As a healthcare professional we are held to a specific standard and are forced to report abuse or possible abuse. I pray that you'll be able to sort this out and have the courage to make whatever decision that you need to make.

[Elke]

I feel that we as adults are here to protect the children...not just our own but the children that can't speak up or have noone else to speak for them. If you don't say something...who will? Meanwhile how many children will get hurt before someone else speaks up? AND if you know someone is getting hurt and you choose to say nothing...aren't you just as guiklt as the one doing the harm?
Just thinking out loud here, sorry but I was a child that was abused, I had no voice nor did anyone else so it went on for 7 yrs of my life.
Please speak for the children.