The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[MusicalMomma Reloaded]

I'm sure this post is probably "old news" to most of us. But I am getting new revelation into how my emotions truly trigger binge eating and wanted to share for anyone who is struggling or maybe some of our newbies that could benefit from what's going on my my head

Yesterday, my 15 year old daughter's boyfriend broke up with her. This was her first boyfriend and because of our beliefs, they could only "date" in our home or in his parents home...so there wasn't the "physical" tie in this relationship, but it still hurt her deeply.

I've been learning how to manage MY emotions and quote "food is fuel" to myself over and over...but when my daughter was crying and hurting, because of a boy our entire family embraced, I just did not know how to handle it. My mind went to a place it never really had to go before. She was hurting and there was NOTHING I could do to make it better for her. I loved on her and didn't "try" to fix her pain, because I HATED when my mom would try to "reason" my pain away. But I felt so helpless and honestly, completely forgot about medifast. We both ate and ate without even thinking!

When she had finally gone to sleep, I went up to bed and realized what I had done! I began to pray for her and myself. Funnily enough, I didn't feel guilty about eating too much, I realized it was yet another emotional response that I was not prepared for. I learned from it! Megan will be in pain for a while yet, but I can not let her pain cause me to harm my body. She wouldn't want that either. I also need to help her see that even tho she is nice a petite now, emotional eating will not keep her that way!

SO, I'll be having a nice chat with her tonight about my soul searching. She's my biggest supporter and I know that we will BOTH learn from this experience

Thank you for reading...if this helps anyone, great! If not, at least I got my thoughts together

Keep Shakin!

[jump4joy]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Joyce. Awareness is the first step to begin to unhook those emotional eating chains.

[Aerie]

Joyce I loved your post. Good job for not beating yourself up about it. You sound like a wonderful mother. Your daughter is lucky.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

my mom and me were always emotional eaters... the times my weight really spiked up where always when it was a hard time in my life. in fact i was always a pretty in shape kid till my parents divorced when i was 10. i shot up 30 lbs that year, and the weight slowly crept up after that. then after i was in a reallllllly bad relationship (the kind you have to change schools because of lol...stupid HS boys) it shot up even more...to around 180 then... then my dad died in 03 and BOOM 230... lol

its so amazing how i am not looking at food the same, granted there are things i want to be able to enjoy once i reach my goal but ill do it in moderation, and no over processed junk! but i have still been stressed..esp with my friend jeaneans heart issues that happened recently, and still i havent cheated. emotional eating i think is something alot of us women and yes men too battle. they really dont ever say much about it but Binge Eating Disorder is just as dangerous as bulimia and anorexia.

people have look at me and say well she is overweight because she eats too much...but really i am overweight because i have an addiction to an unhealthy emotional crutch.

*Big hugs* remember when things get bad there are so many others that can probably relate to you on MMT . thats why i love this forum... ok that was a long reply...hehe

my motto has been from finding nemo (see my signature lol) and as silly as it is i totally follow that.

musical momma... give your daughter a great big hug for me. break ups definitely suck...just went through one about a month ago

[falisamarie]

Joyce~ Big hugs to you and your precious daughter. I have been dealing with the same issues with Amber and her boyfriend, but you know that situation so we are thrilled they are through, but it hurts none the less.

Thankfully she did the breaking up so it is not quite as bad.

You are so wise and I have gotten to where I look for your posts cause I know they will always have something in them that I can learn from.

Thanks~ You are not only a great mom but a great friend too!

Lisa

[BoPeep1]

I am so sorry for your daughter, I know how devastating a breakup is to a girl.

I'm so glad you had your revelation. I just love it when someone "get it." It's like we're almost taught to be emotional eaters, in movies when someone gets dumped they go stright for the ice cream. The term "comfort food" should be taken out of our vocabulary.

[Janae]

Joyce-
You inspire me! Thanks for wise words especially helpful to this newbie. I know that if THIS time is truly the LAST time I do this, I will have to learn to react to (ch)eating incidents (if they happen )...as you have reacted. Analyzing the triggers that caused me to do it and understanding all I can about changing it for next time...then just getting back on and going forward again.

My mom always said, "it's not what happens to you in life that will determine your success, it is how you react to what happens to you".

Thanks for being such a great example- and being willing to share so much of yourself with us. And- love & prayers to both you and your daughter!

Blessings-
J

[rayray]

After reading that just now I think you opend my eyes. I never realized until now and reflected on my day that i eat when I am upset. I mean i know i had a tough day at work today and took in some extra protien ( more than i should of) but i thought it was bc i was hungry. But now when I look back at it I realize i just ate because i was mad about work. Everytime I come and read blogs on this board I truly realize another thing about myself and my eating habits, so for this Thank you!

[DogMa]

I've been fighting some emotional issues this week, too, and working hard not to turn to food. Last night was the first time since starting that I actually was craving chocolate, in fact (but no, I didn't have any). So far, I haven't caved at all, but this feeling had better pass soon!!

So sorry about the breakup. Here's hoping someone better comes along soon!

[MusicalMomma Reloaded]

BoPeep wrote:


...but the old TV show, "The Golden Girls," keeps popping into my mind! Every time they'd have problems or be upset about something, they'd go to the kitchen and pull out a cheesecake from the freezer. We would then see them sitting around the kitchen table soothing their problems with cheesecake (possibly ice cream, too; can't remember for sure about that). I'm sure there's so many more examples, but this is the only one that comes to mind right now.

...even the media shows people using food for comfort/emotions.

Vicky

Ain't THAT the truth!!!! It's good to recognize that we've been kind of programed by society to "eat" our pain away. Then we have to take responsibilty for our actions.

I remember watching an episode of "ER" once and Doug's dad said to him "Yeah, what I did you to in your childhood, that's my responsibilty. What you choose to do with your life now, that's YOUR responsibilty".

That really hit home. All my life, I've blamed people for my "miseries". Don't get me wrong, I haven't lived a pathetic pity party exsistence, but I rarely took full responsibilty for the negative results in my life.

It's funny, we all are ready to face the truth about ourselves at different stages of life. I'm just so glad this is a safe place to "air" those "ah-ha" moments!

Thank you all for your wonderful support. Megan is doing OK for the moment. We got her a puppy last week and BOY that was WONDERFUL timing...Buster has been VERY theraputic for her

Blessings to you all

[Serendipity]

Yeah, I went through a "blame the parents" stage in my 30's. I'm over it, lol.

[DogMa]

I don't know how much we're programmed by society to respond with food, though. I suspect TV and movies show people eating in response to emotional issues because people DO that. Art reflects life, etc.

I know in my culture, generations of mothers have been telling their kids to eat, eat, eat. Eat, you'll feel better.

[Ginabobina1969]

Just wanted to send out HUGS Joyce. You are right, even tv programs us too reach for food as a "pacifier" They need to show more commercials where people who are upset get out and walk a mile for that endorphin rush instead of reaching for whatever it is we reach for.

It's so hard not to look at sticking to a diet plan or healthy eating plan as if we are "depriving ourselves" I am trying to convince my mind the only thing I am depriving myself of, is being miserable and overweight instead of looking at it as depriving myself from things I love...cause I sure didn't love being labeled "extremely or morbidly obese".

Hope your little girl is feeling better.At that age every emotion is so magnified. Sounds like Buster came along Right on time. (Man I want a puppy, if only they could stay puppies)


Hugs,
Gina