DonicaB wrote:Well........I had to go to nearly the bottom of page 2 to find my journal. I think that pretty well sums it up.
What started with a death in the family blossomed into yet another complete failure on my part. Failure to stop the slippery slope of cheating yet once again. Failure to see what was happening to me, again, and failure to stop it. I am my own worst enemy.
I have been beating myself up for a long time now and I don't think there is anything left to beat on. I have pretty well gained all of my weight back. All but 5 pounds to be exact.
I stopped coming to the forum for a couple of reasons. One....I didn't want to face you guys. Two......my feelings had been hurt by someone and I let it totally eat at me instead of facing it straight on. However, I know those are not the reasons I failed......again.
I have tried about 500+ times (at least it seems like it) to re-start MF. I have yet to make it past 2 days. I tried again Monday, but had to go to a conference Tues. and Wed. and caved immediately.
A couple of wonderful people here have been keeping in touch and have really been encouraging even when I didn't want it. (Thanks Chynna & Tawanda).
I don't know how I'm going to do, but doing nothing isn't working so......I've got to give it another shot. I'm going to give myself a 100 day challenge.....today being Day 1.
I don't really know what else to say. I'm embarrassed......ashamed......down-trodden.......and wishing I could take back the past 6 months......but I can't......so I must move on.
Doni
DonicaB wrote:I don't really know what else to say. I'm embarrassed......ashamed......down-trodden.......and wishing I could take back the past 6 months......but I can't......so I must move on.
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