The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

129.8. I was up a lot during the night because Maggie couldn't settle down. She seems fine this morning, though. I'm again doubting my decision to have her put down. I know it's the meds, but she really doesn't seem to be in much pain, and she's living a semi-normal life right now. She's been going outside more often, and coming out to greet me when I get home, etc.

At the same time, it's not MUCH of a life. No chasing squirrels or birds, no playing with her brother, and it's hard for her to get around. Plus she has nights like this, where she just can't seem to get comfortable. And of course her tail is still paralyzed.

On the food/exercise front, I'm trying to relax more about it. Yesterday I walked for an hour instead of running for half an hour, and I waited till after I'd eaten (plus I worked up a sweat raking leaves). I'm going to do the same today. And I haven't been recording anything in FitDay. I want to try just eating healthy and my usual foods but without obsessing and without making sure every day has the same calories, carbs, etc. Maybe I need to keep my body guessing a little bit. So I'm trying not to measure stuff like Egg Beaters, although I do still measure out the peanut butter for my apple, and my hummus when I have it.

And so far, so good on staying away from Maggie's fried chicken. And all the candy and junk at work. We're having a potluck Monday, but I'm going to probably just avoid it and save any unhealthy eating for Tuesday and Wednesday, when I'll need all the comfort I can get, even if it comes in the form of food.

[DogMa]

129.8, after having a frozen dinner (and extra sodium) last night. Didn't run, and didn't walk the full hour because I kept getting interrupted with phone calls (which I normally don't answer when I'm working out, but with my uncle's situation, of course I answer now). Walked about 40 minutes uphill, though, plus raked leaves for more than two hours yesterday. With more to go. I love the huge yard, but it sure is a lot of work!!

My uncle is still doing well, but having trouble sleeping. Turns out they've been giving him a slightly different sleeping pill than he's used to because they don't HAVE the one he takes. So Carol got in yesterday, and she got the OK to bring him his regular stuff.

Maggie's doing OK. We had a nice day yesterday, and spent a lot of time just hanging out together. But the tail problem is giving her trouble now. Last night she got poop on it because she can't move it out of the way. I cleaned her up, but I know it bothered her because she's normally so clean about that sort of thing. She's the one who wouldn't even THINK of going potty in the house, even if it was raining and she didn't go outside for a couple of days. My poor baby.

[DogMa]

AUGH. Turns out she didn't have the OK to bring him the sleeping pill, she just brought it to him anyway. So during the night, he woke up disoriented, confused, agitated and paranoid. So much so that they had to call the family to calm him down. He's still confused and keeps thinking he's home, and they have to keep reminding him he's in the hospital. I'm trying to talk them into telling the doctor about the sleeping pill, because obviously it's important information and could affect not only the diagnosis but also the doses of medication they're giving, but I don't know that I've been successful. Which is just crazy, and I'm about ready to kill her right now.

[DogMa]

Finally, a bit of good news. My uncle's been moved out of ICU to a regular room, and he's off the morphine and just on his regular meds. The doctor said his reaction is a common one, and it's nothing to be concerned about. He's still somewhat hazy, but Carol thinks he's better than he was.

They've set up a cot in the room so she and my other cousin (and my aunt, when she's there) can be more comfortable while they're there overnight. We're going to see how he gets through tonight, and if all goes well, Carol will call the airline about getting a new flight out here on Tuesday.

Which is good, because right now I'm not sure I could take Maggie in on my own. Every time I think about it, I just start crying.

[DogMa]

Sigh. My uncle had his worst night yet, disoriented to the point that he didn't know who my cousin was. When he DID recognize her, he was screaming at her for being such a horrible, ungrateful daughter to be treating him like this. They had to call the doctor, who didn't want to sedate him because he didn't want him taking any more meds. So when he finally calmed down and realized how he had behaved toward Carol, he was crying and upset and threatening to kill himself. He scared the heck out of poor Carol.

So now the doc is taking him off ALL medications. But obviously Carol can't leave him or her mom to come here. I talked to a friend in California about coming out, but she'd have to go back early Wednesday, and flights are hard to find and REALLY expensive right now. Pretty much everyone else I know is out of town for Christmas, but I left a message for one friend who should be around. If she can't go, I guess I'm going to have to do it on my own, because I don't think Maggie can wait. She had a rough night last night, too. Had horrible-looking diarrhea while I was at work, and then when I was cleaning up her tail, there was a little bit of blood. Just a little, but still, it was enough to scare me. I didn't want to give her more KFC, but she wouldn't eat her regular food. And didn't seem to care that she wasn't eating. She wouldn't eat today, either, other than the cheese with her pills.

As for me, I weighed 129.4 or something this morning. No workout, because I spent the day either on the phone with Carol, cooking for our potluck at work, talking to the airlines or sobbing hysterically (not necessarily only one of those at a time). I'm going to eat at the potluck today, too. Not go too crazy, but I just couldn't handle getting my dinner ready tonight. And I can't even face Medifast (besides, I'd have to have 13 or 14 packets to get enough calories).

[alpha femme]

i'm sorry about maggie, robin.
i've been where you are, and i believe that you are doing the right thing. maggie knows you love her. and even if no people can be there with you, maggie will be with you no matter what... in your heart, in your dreams.
i'm proud of you for being a loving, compassionate friend to her.
i know she knows you are doing everything you can for her. having the person you love the most stay with you until your forever comes is the best gift any baby can get. i'm sorry it's painful; my heart aches for you.

[DogMa]

Thanks, Alex. I'm trying. I know it's better for her and it's selfish to want to keep her longer, but sometimes I don't care. I want her with me. Sigh.

The good news is a friend of mine heard what was going on and immediately booked a flight out here. She'll be here in the morning and will stay until Thursday morning. And Carol's talking about coming after that, if her dad's doing better by then. I think it's actually going to be hard in some ways to pick up Mojo, so I would love to have her with me then.

[bikipatra]

Our childhood dog Molly was a dog we kept around till the very end. She had trouble standing and sometimes the strain would make her lose control of her bowels. But we had just left for college and my mother could not let go. And then there was my father-he lived in a persistant vegetative state for 8 years and my mother saw him suffer for 8 years, she kept him at home with round the clock nursing, and she couldn't let go. Then her 20 yr old cat who had lost her will to live so much she would barely move except to go to the litter box which had to be moved with in a foot of her, she could not let go of....She finally died on her own. At that point she decided that she would never let an animal suffer becaue of her selfishness again. It was a difficult lesson, that took a long time for her to learn. It isn't easy. But last April, when my mother was here visiting me, her HUGE dog named FiFi had a stroke and lost control of half of her body. This was less than a week after she lost Duckie her cat. Even though she had no chance to say goodbye, she asked my brother-in-law to take FiFi back to the vet to end her life. That never happened because as he was preparing to do so, she died of her stroke. It is never an easy choice but God has made you the guardian and entrusted you to make the right decisions and I am crying as I write this, but I know as much as you love your animals you want more than anything to do the right thing. It is just hard and I am glad you are going to have the support from your friends. Thinking of you...

[petladyinRI]

I have been away from the board for a while and am just catching up. I am so sorry you have had so much heartache in the last few weeks. It is always so hard with a beloved pet toward the end. You try to do the right thing and pray for a sign of what that is, but it rarely is distinct. They have good days and bad days, and you flip flop back and forth about what is the kindest decision. I hope by now your uncle has recovered and is maybe even home, and that Maggie's suffering has ended. Although I know the new dog is more for T than for you, it will help to fill your heart, too. I think there is no better memorial to a departed rescue than to give the gift of love to another one in need. My thought and prayers are with you and yours...

[DogMa]

Thanks, guys. I'm finally back, briefly. My uncle was finally sent home yesterday, so things there are better. Maggie is gone, and it was awful, but I really don't want to talk about it right now. My friend came from Denver, which was fantastic. I think she was exactly the right person to come.

Anyway, I'm sad but doing OK. Teemu is struggling some, as predicted. He pees (on the pee pads, but still) every time he's left home alone. I've had stomach issues for days, between the stress and lack of sleep and the junk I've been eating (which stops today). No running or anything because I've been too sick and dehydrated. I'm hoping to get going tomorrow.

I hope everyone else is doing well. I'll catch up later. Right now I want to eat a normal breakfast for a change, and then lie down and debate going to work tonight. I have no sick leave left, but I'm feeling pretty awful right now. And it would be nice to have one night with just me and Teemu alone.

[Lizabette]

You're in my prayers... ...friend.

[casma500]

Robin, I'm so sorry about Maggie. I wish there were something I could say to help you ease the pain. Please know you are in my prayers. Please please, feel free to call if there is anything at all that I can do.

I would love to get together again in january ~ let me know when you are adjusted to your new schedule, and we can even have a play date for the dogs too, iffen you want! My dakota loves other poopies, and she's 42 lbs. so she is about the same size. Penelope aka mojo is beautiful!!! Maybe we could take them to a park to play for a while and then leave them at your house while we go eat somewhere. Just a thought.

Hope your uncle is heading home soon as well!

[dede4wd]

Robin,
I wish I had the right words, but I know no words can make you feel better. I'm SO glad your friend is there.

Just be comforted by the fact that Maggie knew how much you love her and that her suffering is over and she will be frolicking happily across Rainbow bridge until she sees you again.

Yell if you need us for ANYTHING!

DeDe

[JeepGirl]

Ohh Robin--Huggs Sweetheart I am sorry about Maggie.

You will be in my prayers.

I hope your Uncle is feeling better soon!

[LadyT]

Robin - I am so sorry to hear about Maggie, but I'm happy your friend was able to be there for you...you are in my thoughts.