DogMa

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Postby DogMa » December 12th, 2006, 11:49 pm

Thanks, Lauren and everyone. I really don't intend to backslide and I'm doing what I can to avoid it. Yes, there's something of a moratorium on the gym right now, but I'm still running regularly (not tomorrow because we have to leave so early for her appointment, but pretty much every other day). Yes, I intend to get her KFC and anything else I can think of because if she has so little time left, she deserves to have anything that still gives her pleasure, but I don't intend to get enough for both of us.

Will I slip a little? Honestly, I don't know. I don't intend to drown my sorrows in food; I know it doesn't work, anyway. I'll be packing some stuff to bring tomorrow because it sounds like we'll be at this place all day. But I can't say I won't end up getting something more substantial to eat if there are some places nearby. I plan to choose something as healthy as I can, though.

Those posts are more just my way of working things out for myself. If I put in writing what I'm feeling and how much I want to eat crap, I'm far less likely to do it. I'm sharing the same stuff with friends and family, because I need to hear myself say it. It's when I stop talking that it's time to worry, because I tend to eat stuff like that in private.

That said, though, I don't expect to be on here much tomorrow and maybe the next day, depending on how long we're at the place (which depends on whether they're going to bother with the CT scan and biopsy, which in turn depends on what the X-rays show and whether the cancer has already spread).
Robin

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Hi

Postby dede4wd » December 12th, 2006, 11:54 pm

We're around if you need to talk.
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Postby LadyT » December 13th, 2006, 9:19 am

Robin - just sending my good thoughts your way. You are going through some rough days, I'm so sorry for that. I also know what its' like to go through all this - it's just heart wrenching.
Just do what you have to do for your baby, but still make sure to take care of yourself as well. Keep on posting as much as you can! We will all be here for you...
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Postby DogMa » December 13th, 2006, 12:22 pm

Well, the news was pretty much as expected. It hasn't spread to her lungs, which I guess is good. The doc said it could be months, but it's much more likely to be weeks, given how quickly it's progressed (it's now visible from the outside, and last night she wouldn't eat or go outside; she didn't even want to come into my room at bedtime, and she woke me up a couple of hours later because she was so restless). He said it's more than 99 percent likely that it's cancer, and the only other thing it could be was a rare fungus - which would be treatable but the outcome would most likely be the same.

So I opted to not put her through the CT scan or biopsy, and he gave me some meds for her pain. Palliative radiation could help with the pain, too, but it's usually a weekly treatment for about three weeks - given that she only HAS a few weeks, that again seems like a lot to put her through. The closest place that even does it is in Dallas. He said the new medication (which she'll be taking along with a smaller dose of Tramadol and her Deramaxx, since the liver enzymes aren't really a concern at this point) will knock her out for a couple of days, but then she'll get used to them and be more awake. He warned me, though, about what's to come in the next few weeks, and it's not pretty: more trouble with pottying, possibly the other hind leg going, etc. So I'm going to start her with the new meds and see how she does, but I think I'll be letting her go in a week or two.

On the positive side, she actually went outside when we got home, and she gobbled up her Chicken McNuggets and fries like a champ. So we'll be frequent visitors to McDonald's and KFC for as long as she has left. (And no, I didn't have any. I got her a Happy Meal; she had three nuggets and most of the fries, Teemu had one nugget and the rest of the fries, and I had half the kiddie-size Diet Coke and the toy. I don't want to leave her at all today, though, so I can't get to the supermarket and I have nothing in the house. So I'll be ordering Chinese delivery tonight, but I figure I'll get steamed chicken and veggies or something simple like that. Either some fried wontons or something for her, or I think there's some leftover pizza in the freezer. She loves pizza.)
Robin

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Postby electra000 » December 13th, 2006, 1:31 pm

Robin, my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry about the diagnosis. Wish I lived closer to you, I would come give you a hug. I wasn't sure how Maggie is about taking her pills. I found a wonderful way to give my dogs pills. It is a dog food called Biljack. They sell it at Albertsons in the frozen food section. It is frozen so you have to let it thaw and keep it refrigerated. You just make a little ball and put the pill in it and they gobble it up. I am proud that you are taking care of yourself and not making bad choices. I will be thinking of you and Mags. Take Care!

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Postby DogMa » December 13th, 2006, 6:51 pm

Thanks, Electra. I've seen that stuff in the supermarket. She's usually good with pills, as long as they're tucked into a little American cheese (or tonight, I stuck it in a piece of cream-cheese wonton - which I ordered for her, not me, if anyone's worried; I had steamed chicken and veggies, and some string beans with garlic sauce).

The liquid one is more of a problem, although I'm going to get an infant syringe thing tomorrow. It's flavored, so I don't think it'll be a problem to give it to her that way.

First, of course, I had to look on the Net to see how much to give her. They told me 2 cc's, and I had no idea how much that is (apparently 5 cc's is a teaspoon, though).

She's having a much better day today, though. She had a nice nap (although I had to pick her up to put her on the couch), and she ate the wonton, and she even went out to "chase" a squirrel (Teemu chased; Maggie kind of walked behind and then had to lie down and rest, but at least she went out without any coaxing and needed a minimum of help getting back to the house).

The other good news is my cousin (the one I always talk about, who's like a sister) is coming out in about two weeks, so she can go with me when I take Maggie in. I've decided that assuming she's more or less OK and doesn't deteriorate so fast that I need to take her sooner, I'm going to just make an appointment for whenever my cousin can make it out here (we're talking about somewhere between Christmas and New Year's) and take her then. And someone from work said her neighbor is having financial trouble and is moving in with the wife's parents in California, but the dad said they can only bring one of their dogs. So they're looking at getting rid of the other one, who they've only had for three months or so. She's going to find out how old he is and all that, but if it works out, I can have another rescue but without going to a shelter.
Robin

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Hi

Postby dede4wd » December 13th, 2006, 7:13 pm

Sounds like you and Maggie had a good day! I'm happy for both of you!

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Postby alpha femme » December 13th, 2006, 7:53 pm

there's really not much to say. but lilly and i are thinking about you and miss maggie... and teemu. we think you are doing the best you can for her-- and she knows it. you remind her every day you spend with her.
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Postby casma500 » December 14th, 2006, 7:02 am

Oh Robin, I'm so sorry I have not been able to post lately ~ I'm so so sorry about Maggie, but am very relieved on the other hand that your cuz can come out to see you during the hardest part.

I cannot even imagine what you are going through -- my Dakota (a rescue as well) IS my child and I refuse to even think about the day I have to let her go...

PLEASE! if there is absolutely anything i can do for you, just let me know. I am actually going to be in Bedford Sunday so can stop by with no problem at all!

Sounds like your head is on good about the food, so just spend all the happy time you can with maggie ~ i will be praying for you and her.
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Postby DogMa » December 14th, 2006, 10:39 am

Thanks, guys. I'm still hanging in. 130.0 today, which is good given the extra sodium last night (which I'll be having again tonight, because I have more than half left - a victory in itself). Hit the treadmill this morning. Ran 17 out of 30 minutes.

Maggie had a good night, although she didn't come up on the bed at all. I don't think she can manage the steps right now.
Robin

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Postby bikipatra » December 14th, 2006, 10:52 am

I am so glad Maggie had a good night.
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Postby THINKnTHIN » December 14th, 2006, 7:28 pm

Just checking in on you and Maggie. Hope you both had a comfortable day. While these are sad times, they also are special times to have with each other. My wishes and prayers for both of you to continue to be able to share good times. Good night!
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Postby DogMa » December 14th, 2006, 10:41 pm

So far, so good. She ate her dinner, and had a cream-cheese wonton (most of one; Teemu had a piece, too) and a couple of doggie cookies. And I got the baby syringe for the new medicine; she wasn't happy about it, but I figure a second of her being unhappy is worth 12 hours of pain relief. She definitely can't control the one paw, though. Whenever she goes out, she drags it and it hits the step.

I pretty much just stayed home with her, though. I went out to get groceries and the syringe, and then just came back and hung out with her and Tay.

Eating's still pretty controlled. I decided not to bother with FitDay for one more day, since I couldn't even guess at the Chinese food. But I had my normal breakfast, a bag of Glenny's soy crisps, the leftover Chinese food (probably a little more than I should have had, but I was really hungry for some reason), apple with peanut butter, one serving of low-fat Triscuits with an ounce of hummus, and I'll be having a pudding later on. I was eyeing the chocolate again, but I stayed away.
Robin

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Postby mellowmom » December 14th, 2006, 10:48 pm

Oh Robin,

I'm so sorry to hear about Maggie's diagnosis. You both are in my prayers.

Carmel
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Postby DogMa » December 15th, 2006, 10:19 am

Thanks, Carmel.

129.4 today. Very nice, considering. I may do another day without FitDay and see how it goes.

Last night I barely slept. Maggie wouldn't come into the bedroom when I was going to bed. So Teemu was upset and trying to cuddle, and I was crying (for no good reason, except I was worried something would happen to her and she'd be all alone on the other side of the house). I finally fell asleep, but I kept waking up to see if she'd come in or was outside trying to get in (I left the door ajar for her, but she sometimes has trouble balancing to paw at things, because of the weakness in the hind leg). Anyway, she finally came in around 7. I dozed a couple more hours and then just got up.

Talked to the acupuncture doctor, too. She said I'd have to bring in her three times a week for two weeks, and it would help but not enough to take her off any of her pain medications. I canceled the appointment, since by the time the acupuncture would start working, she'd be pretty much gone anyway. Sigh.

I did get on the treadmill this morning, and I ran a little of the time, but I wound up walking for most of it. Went the whole 2 miles, though (I was hoping to start running MORE than 2 miles today, but I figured this was good enough).

Anyway, that's where we all stand. My food for today, I think:
Normal breakfast
Low-fat Triscuits with hummus
Soy crisps
Chicken with green beans and maybe some artichoke hearts
Apple with peanut butter
Pudding
Robin

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DogMa
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