The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Woo hoo! A date!!! Spill - and yes, the money thing is probably just a need to impress. Having married for love myself, I say if he's prone to divorce, marry for money this time and try for love the next time.

[DogMa]

OK, OK, still here. The date was pretty lame. For those who were around back then, he looked like an older version of my psycho-stalkerish ex. He's 54, but an OLD 54. His "slightly overweight" was at least 75 pounds. His first comment in the theater was to say that "all Jewish girls" get nose jobs, and then asked why I didn't. Um, excuse me?

So THEN the movie finally starts, except they were showing the wrong movie. We were there to see The Day the Earth Stood Still, and they started showing Yes Man, which I knew he had just seen. Some people went out to complain and came back and said the theater folks said to stay put and they'd restart the movie. Except they didn't. So some more people went out, and this time when they came back they said we were supposed to go across the hall to the theater showing Yes Man, and they'd show our movie there. So we go over there and find new seats, but no one told the people already there to leave (not to mention that even if they left, they had missed the first 10 minutes of so of Yes Man). So we sit through trailers again, and the movie starts, and it's Yes Man. After I finish lauging, we decide to just go eat instead. We get his refund plus some rainchecks that he said he'd give to someone in his office, and head for lunch.

Turns out the Chinese place I found is awesome, and we're the only non-Chinese in the place, and they have DIM SUM. Except he, of course, doesn't want dim sum and wants a menu. He says if I want it I should go ahead, except you can't really have dim sum alone. Sigh. So we look at the menu, and I suggest steamed chicken with ginger and garlic. He says no, that's steamed, how about sweet and sour chicken. I think no, that's fried AND covered in sugar. We finally settle on a couple of dishes, and then can't even agree on soup. Ha. Meanwhile, we have NOTHING to talk about, and just keep talking about the theater fiasco and how great the restaurant is. He doesn't work out, he doesn't watch what he eats, he doesn't even see his family (brother in NY, mom in a home out here, but he says he just pays the bills for her). He even comments on how great the lobster sauce is on the shrimp with lobster sauce - except we didn't GET shrimp with lobster sauce. Oy.

So the next day he e-mailed me to ask me out. I just e-mailed back and said I enjoyed meeting him but didn't think we had enough in common. Sigh. And then went to the restaurant with a friend yesterday to get my dim sum (yeah, not exactly an on-plan weekend for me).

Anyway, there ya go. Total dud, except that I found a great Chinese restaurant, which can be really hard to come by around here.

[Tawanda]

Robin, I was smiling over how the date went--sorry you had to live it, but it does make for an amusing story. The gentleman sounds like he is pretty clueless on how to interact on a date.

I love Chinese food but am not familiar with Dim Sum.

[DogMa]

It was definitely funny, but I can see why he's been divorced twice. And why his wife was in therapy for 14 years. LOL.

Dim sum's not exactly healthy, but it's where Chinese ladies push around carts full of all kinds of little plates and steamer baskets and such with different foods. You pick what you want, or what looks good, and they stamp your little card. Then at the end you go up and they total up the stamps (usually in different price categories). So it's way better with a group, because you can get lots of different things and just have, say, one dumpling from a plate of three or four, and one little bun, etc. If you do it alone, you basically would have enough to eat after one or two little plates, so you'd only try one or two things. It's a lot of dumplings and steamed buns and little tidbits. Yummy, and fun to try stuff. But not at all healthy. Sigh.

And my brother's comment about the nose thing? "Like HE'S such a prize?" Heh.

And argh. I was supposed to be back on track today. But I made the mistake of taking a little shortcut and buying a rotisserie chicken from Costco instead of cooking my own chicken breast for the week. It's been so long since I had one, I forgot how tempting all that skin is. Oops. At least it's gone now, and next week I'll know better. (And geez, I just bought a new Foreman grill, too. What was I thinking??) I figure I'll stay on program the REST of the day (no more all or nothing), and tomorrow I'll be 100 percent.

[nickieluv]

No more all or nothing. Very wise (and difficult) words to live by!

The thing I found interesting about your date was that you are looking for someone who values his health and the overweight thing was not about appearance, right? I got the feeling that if he was 75 pounds overweight but active and conscious of his food and stuff, you would have had a different feeling about him. Given, of course, that the whole rest of the package was not a dud, which it obviously was.

I wonder sometimes how much harder it might be for married couples when both need to lose weight and change habits. Sure, you have a partner there to make the changes with you. But also, both of you have similar foibles and are prone to backsliding, and you might follow each other right down the road to fat-dom again.

Not sure what this had to do with anything - random thoughts from the ramble-master again.

[DogMa]

It's definitely about the lifestyle more than weight for me, Nicks. I have enough trouble maintaining my workout and eating habits without getting involved with someone who doesn't care. I can order healthy stuff when I'm out with friends most of the time, but that's much less frequent. It would be very hard for me to be so careful and stick with my plan if I were dating someone who was constantly eating unhealthy stuff. I could probably do it, but it's not worth it to me to face the constant temptation.

I think it's just different priorities. I've come to place a very high priority on my health and fitness, and I would prefer to be with someone who values those same things.

I think I've definitely gotten past the all or nothing thing at this point. I had the chicken, then tossed the rest (other than the meat I bought it for in the first place) and went right back on plan. Today I was 128.2, but that was after four straight days of salt, salt and more salt, so I'm pretty sure I'm actually lower than that. Today's been totally on target other than not working out this morning because I was awake pretty much all night. But I get a day or two off a week, so it's OK.

[vegasmedifast]

Robin -

Just read about your recent date (it's taking me a while to check out other journals). I am laughing so hard - I had SO many dates like that before I finally met my husband. I am so sorry that it happened but you relay the story in the form of great comedy. A real "mensch" would have given YOU the rainchecks...and the 75 pounds thing - my biggest pet peeve was when men would add 3-4 inches to their actual height when describing themselves.

I met my husband on JDate - have you tried that?

I once went out with a guy whom I later found out had a wife who had died under "mysterious circumstances"...that was the worst!

[DogMa]

Mysterious circumstances? Geez. I'm assuming you RAN from that one.

And yep, I'm on JDate. That's how I met my ex-bf, the crazy stalkerish guy (the one this guy looked just like!). I do NOT have good luck with men. Most of the time I'd rather just hang out with the dogs!!

Meanwhile, my weight's still dropping from the weekend salt fest. 127.6.

[nickieluv]

Hey, maybe it was the same guy in make-up - he's so crazy about you, he's created multiple profiles and you just keep meeting the same guy.

[DogMa]

Nah, this guy left me alone after I said no. Unlike the other one, who would still be pestering me and begging me and leaving me gifts and hanging around outside my door.

[DogMa]

Wheeeeeeee! I got my Wii!! Turns out they actually delivered it around 9 p.m Monday but didn't ring the bell or anything (the dogs must have been out back). So it sat outside all that night and all yesterday, till I got home from work. Stupid UPS.

So now I have big plans for NYE tonight. Bowling, maybe some tennis or boxing. Maybe I'll even meet Maya, "My Fitness Coach."

[DogMa]

Oh, come ON. Maybe this is just weirding me out because of the stalkerish ex, but ...

The optometrist from the other day, who I met through the plentyoffish.com site? Joined JDate and called up my profile right after I e-mailed to say I didn't want to go out again.

[DogMa]

Speaking of the stalkerish ex ...

He e-mailed me a few days ago, but I didn't see it till now because I have gmail send his e-mails directly to a separate folder. He said his niece found a dog that looks kind of like my Mojo (whose name he spelled wrong, as usual) and asked if I wanted to adopt her or knew someone who might. And then added that my words had influenced him, so he researched the issues and candidates and voted in the last election.

Whatever. It's been like a year and a half already.

[nickieluv]

You must have mojo in more ways than one! This spellbinding effect you have on men - if you could bottle it, you'd make a fortune.

[DogMa]

I don't know. I only seem to attract this one. And I don't WANT to.

At least he hasn't shown up at my door or called or anything. But he needs to move on.