The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Unca_Tim]

Have you met some of his friends Robin?

You can tell alot about someone, by their friends and family.

[DogMa]

Yeah, I actually liked his friends (although two of 'em are the idiots who told him to keep coming to my door). Haven't met the family. He said last night that his mom's been asking when she can meet me, but I don't think that's a very good idea right now.

I'd almost like to talk to one of his friends (or the friend's girlfriend, who I also met) to see if what he said is true, and he really DOES know more of what's going on than he's indicated.

Is it possible that he just still really can't relax around me because he's so darn smitten??

Oh, and 132.2, so it's slowly creeping down, plus I hit the treadmill again. No real running, but I walked uphill instead. 2 miles. No stress eating, which amazes me. After we hung up last night (and after I called my cousin to discuss it), I found myself in the kitchen looking for something to eat. Then realized I didn't actually WANT anything, so I went back and watched "Heroes" instead.

[alpha femme]

run.
run fast, run hard, run long.

[Karli]

run.
run fast, run hard, run long.

And make sure you have some extra calories for if you really get going .. hee hee

[Tawanda]

Alex is right on-------run fast, run very fast away from this guy. He should have been honest and been himself to begin with. I have a hard time believing that he was playing dumb so he could impress you. He sounds like someone who has too much time on his hands so he can figure out head games to mess with other people.

I vote 'no'........no way, no how can he be your boyfriend.

ROFLMBO!!

What? You didn't know we get to vote or have a say on this?

Seriously......I'm so glad you changed the locks and that you are being cautious. This guy just doesn't sound like a keeper. But that is my 'not asked for opinion'.

[DogMa]

No, I appreciate all the input. Although I really don't think he was trying to play any head games or anything like that. From what he said, he's smitten but clueless.

I still just have a hard time believing he was just PRETENDING not to know this stuff, though. But maybe. I guess. Like I said, people do an awful lot of stupid things. (Not ME, of course. )

[j0j0ruca]

Oh man.

My 2 cents - that aren't worth anything. Time to move on. If you have had this much turmoil and confusion when the relationship isn't even "that serious" imagine when it does get to that point.

The asking if it there was someone else should put up red flags as well.

[JeepGirl]

Sounds like you have it under control Ms.Robin! Kinda odd that he "pretended" not to know what what "going on in the world" but hmm ppl are odd!

I do know that when he was in my house, he didn't open any closed doors (both times, I stuck little slips of paper in them to test).

OMG I have done this before when someone I know is nosey comes over.. I have put some "personal" items in cabinets(where they normally would not be etc) to see if she snoops when she is in the restroom or passing thru the bedroom!! It is funny cause she allllllways snoops and then wont look me in the eyes the rest of the night

[dede4wd]

I have a friend that writes "you're bustted snooper" on the paper!

D

[DogMa]

Hee. I'm glad I'm not the only nut who does this!

[DogMa]

Sigh. Still not losing, and I'm thinking of going back to the program. But I still don't know what to do about the calories. I'm giving myself till Monday to show some more progress; otherwise, I'm going to try a four and two plan - and stick to walking instead of running for a while - and see how it goes.

And I know you guys aren't going to be happy, but I do think some of the comments are colored by your own experiences. I REALLY don't think he's a stalker or dangerous or anything like that. There's been no hint of any controlling behavior, and he has left me alone since I clearly told him not to call until I say it's OK. We've e-mailed a lot, and I'm going to give him another chance. I'm making it clear that this doesn't mean everything's OK or that everything is going to work out, since I still don't feel about him the way he does about me, but I'm willing to give him one more chance. I've been very clear about my need for more space and more time apart (either to be with friends, or more often to be alone), and he seems to understand and accept that. So we'll see.

[Karli]

Hi, Robin. I think another chance is fair. Especially now that you have communicated with him and he has a better idea of what's going on in your head. Now he really has a chance, you know ? Even with the right person (not saying he is wrong or right), there has to be a lot of communication because nobody is always a mind-reader.

You basically let him know where you stand, and that he shouldn't expect that everything will work out a certain way, and you have let him know more about what you need. That is all really, really good ! So, now he has a chance to respect all of that, and it sounds like he is already doing well with respecting your wishes.

On the MF note, I have always liked the idea of a 4/2 plan and when I initially thought about doing the program, I thought about just doing that because I had been working out so much and didn't want to stop. Plus, I thought that might be enough for me to still lose weight with all of my working out, too. It may have been, who knows ?

Anyway, I would be interested to know how that works for you if you do it. I am ALWAYS interested in how to balance calorie intake with working out and weight-maintenance. You'll figure out whatever you need to figure out with it, and then you will not only have it figured out for yourself, but you'll have even more knowledge to offer us .

Cheers to you,
Karli

[Lauren]

Hey, Robin-

You're the only one who has looked into his eyes and can actually "see" JDG's demeanor and disposition. I agree that we all react based on our own personal experiences - but I think you can see how hearing about a guy driving by 8 times, often with gifts and such, and calling and emailing to boot, could be considered, um, "off." Look, if we're all wrong, I am thrilled! If he makes you happy, treats you well, and you enjoy your time with him, that's excellent! But we just got some red flags, and decided to respond accordingly. Only you actually are in the situation and know him, so trust your good judgement, and we'll all back you up whatever you decide!

On to the 4 and 2 situation: that's pretty much what I eat. I may do more like 5 & 2, or just 4 & 2 with a couple apples and a yogurt thrown in, but that's essentially what I eat every day. Just cut out some of the extras you've incorporated, and perhaps that alone could cause a drop. Don't get too frustrated, and if you want to run, run. Even if you don't lose weight from it, it's still great for your heart, your body, your core, and everything else, so while it may not help numbers on the scale, you will look better.

Good luck!

Lauren

[DogMa]

Oh, I know that about the running. I just know from past experience that I won't be ABLE to run if I eat a regular 5-and-1. I just don't get enough energy that way.

As for the eight visits, that was the one thing that WAS explained well. He said he actually was concerned that it would scare me, but his friend's girlfriend (who seemed nice when I met her, but apparently she's not so bright or something!) told him to keep trying. He doesn't have a lot of relationship experience, and so he listened to her instead of his gut. So that part makes sense.

I still don't know that he's suddenly going to become funnier and more interesting to be around, but since I apparently don't know what he's really like, maybe he will. Plus maybe he'll be more comfortable around me now that this is all out in the open. I knew he was way more into me than I am into him, but I don't think I realized quite how infatuated he is. But as long as he respects my boundaries and understands that this may still not work out the way he wants, I'm willing to give him another shot. But just one - any weird vibes of jealousy or control or obsession, and we're through. And for the time being, I want to meet away from the house. I know he's really attached to my dogs, but I really don't want him coming over right now.

(And I didn't mean to offend anyone; I'm sorry if I did. I just really think he's not a bad guy; he's just kind of an idiot about some things. I still have some concerns, and I'm going to keep my eye out for warning signs. But I really think he's basically OK and just really hung up on me. As my cousin pointed out, my uncle proposed to my aunt after two weeks. She said no, of course, and thought he was nuts. But eventually they got married - and now it's been more than 50 years.)

[DogMa]

Cool. Apparently some women at work do a Walk Away the Pounds tape every afternoon at 2. They vary the tapes so it doesn't get boring. Today's the 2-mile, so I'm going to go down and do it with them (even though I didn't bring workout clothes). That'll give me 4 miles for the day, which is great.

So maybe if I do that pretty much every day, I'll make some better progress.