The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[nickieluv]

Well, you gotta give him points for persistence!

I know I've said it before, but you have been a real inspiration for the way you've come through so many challenges and changes lately in your life. I'm glad I could read of your journey - I hope someday to go back to the beginning and catch up with you and Biki - but you're both so prolific I'd need a week of snow days and a full time nanny! (I mean that in a wonderful way, and I really do want to read everything.)

[DogMa]

Thanks, Nickie. The journal starts toward the end of my weight loss, though. We didn't have journals when I first started. (And most of it is so dull, I'm still surprised when people read it!)

Went to dinner with friends last night, and it was very salty. So 131.0 today. No run this morning, either, because I was barely able to roll out of bed. Even my dreams were about missing sleep and getting sick. Ugh. I'll try to run tonight instead, but who am I kidding? I'm so tired, I'm tempted to call in sick. But I don't want to do that in case I actually GET sick. But man, am I exhausted.

[DogMa]

131 again, after I was starving last night and had some salty soup and some extra pudding. Called the doc today to get some kind of sleep aid for a couple of weeks to help me adjust to the new schedule, because right now I keep waking up at 2 and having trouble sleeping after that. No wonder I'm so tired all the time.

Not much else new. I think I already said I couldn't change my outgoing flight to Sunday, so no Ducks game for me this week. But JDG did change my return flight (they still charged a fee, but it was low enough that it'll cost less once I figure I'm saving a night at the hotel and a night for the pet sitter). Unfortunately, they couldn't get me in until 7:30, which is kinda late for dinner on a school night. But I'm going to go to the airport early and he's going to use his platinum status to try to get me bumped up on the standby list for a couple of earlier flights. Be nice if I could get home and see the dogs for a bit before I head out. If not, I'm going to tell him we need to meet away from the house, because I can't go home after a week and then just leave again.

Meanwhile, I ordered a box of sugar-free chocolates to be delivered to his office (he's diabetic) for Valentine's Day, and I got a nice little electric grill for his birthday (OK, plus a bigger version of the same one for ME because it looked nicer than the one I already have). Plus there was a play I really wanted to see, but I didn't want to say anything and have him get tickets because he already pays for everything. So I told him someone at work was selling their tickets and asked if he wanted to go. He said yes and asked how much they were, and I said I'd just take care of it. A little lie, but oh, well. So now we have plans through the 24th (a friend is having a birthday get-together for him the 23rd, and he asked me to go, and now the play on the 24th). My hope is that with the fun activities, he'll become more fun.

[Lizabette]

Enjoy your posts, ROBIN. Not dull at all!
I'd appreciate if you check my journal this morning, and when you feel like it give me a little feedback on the BMI stuff!
Or any other comments. I value your 'expert' opinions.
Hope you get to feeling better and everything else works out good for you!
Lizabette

[DogMa]

I'm sure no expert, but I went over and added my 2 cents. I'm never shy about that, ya know.

[DogMa]

So much for having a night to myself. Sigh. He e-mailed saying he was having a rough day and would I please meet him for dinner. So how could I say no? Although I REALLY need to get to the bank, and I was hoping to stop on my way home. Guess it'll have to wait till tomorrow.

I was also going to try to run tonight, since I couldn't drag myself out of bed early enough this morning. But that won't be happening, either, I guess. I guess now I'll just plan on starting up while I'm in Denver, since the hotel has a treadmill. And hopefully the doc will phone in a prescription for me, so by the time I get back I'll be sleeping more normally and able to get up early enough to run. I miss it!!

[DogMa]

129.8, despite a mishap at dinner last night (ordered a spicy chicken dish, didn't realize the chicken would be battered and fried). Doc called in a prescription, so I'll pick that up tonight after work.

And now JDG offered to take me to the airport and pick me up when I get home (that second part makes sense, so that we can go to dinner faster because no way could I come home after a week away, and just leave the dogs a few minutes later). But my flight's so early Saturday morning, I'm thinking it's kind of rude to not ask him to stay over on Friday night. So I'm going to suggest that I take a shuttle TO the airport and he can just pick me up when I come home.

[Karli]

hee hee... Robin. It's so interesting following along with your dating experience. I never *really* had a dating experience. I would meet a guy and then we would just get into a relationship which always lasted at least a year. I never just dated. And, then I met my husband when I was 21, so, I have been off the market in that way for a long, long time (it seems) and right through the years that were supposed to be prime dating years !! Yikes !! I am convinced there was a reason, though.

Anyway. I hope that you are enjoying your time. I have to say, you seem a little reluctant about it all. Like there is not a really obvious reason to break it off, so in the meantime, it's still going (and he seems pretty motivated to keep it going). Just make sure you keep checking in with yourself and listening to yourself.

You are doing so well with maintenance, btw. Cheers to you !!

Karli

[alpha femme]

But my flight's so early Saturday morning, I'm thinking it's kind of rude to not ask him to stay over on Friday night. So I'm going to suggest that I take a shuttle TO the airport and he can just pick me up when I come home.

trying to avoid boring sex? who knows, maybe jdg's lack of humor will come in handy. he'll focus on aerodynamics and technique.

[DogMa]

Sex? Who said anything about sex? And Karli, I'm definitely reluctant. I have MAJOR issues in this area (which is one of many reasons I'm still very, very single at my age). When I referred to myself as a Jewish nun, I really wasn't kidding. Ahem. The truth is, I'm scared to death of the whole dating/relationship thing. I'm trying very hard right now to not let fear stop me, because I know my first instinct - to break it off before anything happens - is unhealthy. He hasn't pushed at all, but I know at some point we're going to need to talk. It's very cowardly, but right now I'm thinking of writing or e-mailing (but probably writing, because this isn't something I want to e-mail to his work address, which is the only one he uses) while I'm in Denver. I need to explain a few things, and I don't think I can do it in person. Sigh.

Although again, the overwhelming temptation is to break it off just to avoid this. But I've come so far on the emotional issues where eating is involved, I know I really need to start working on my REAL emotional issues. Maybe it's time to consider trying therapy again.

[Carrie]

Hi Robin,

I understand feeling scared about dating. It's not an easy thing. Just remember, if he can't deal with who you are - not only is he not the right guy for you, he simply doesn't deserve you.

Hang tough, it will get easier AND better.

[bikipatra]

I think it's great that you are going to share your hang-ups with this guy. Because he sounds like he is pretty serious and nice and if you don't come clean you are really kind of leading him on...

[DogMa]

Or pushing him away, if he mistakes my reluctance for lack of interest. Which has happened. You don't think it's awful to do it while I'm out of town? I figure it's pretty much the only way I can bring it up, plus it gives him some time to digest it before responding. Because they're really pretty serious issues, not your standard "dating makes me nervous" stuff. I'm not 45 and single for no reason!!

The fact is, I think this is already the longest I've ever dated anyone. I'm really pretty darn screwed up.

[Carrie]

Robin,

Seriously. A LOT of us do have issues that aren't your everyday walk in the park. Please have enough confidence in yourself to realize that if he doesn't understand then he really isn't right for you anyway AND THAT IS NOT A REFLECTION ON YOU OR YOUR WORTH. That's just who he is. And it's probably better to know now than to get in too deep - this isn't like your 3rd date or anything.

Every guy is going to be the wrong guy until you meet the right one.

[bikipatra]

Robin,

Seriously. A LOT of us do have issues that aren't your everyday walk in the park. Please have enough confidence in yourself to realize that if he doesn't understand then he really isn't right for you anyway AND THAT IS NOT A REFLECTION ON YOU OR YOUR WORTH. That's just who he is. And it's probably better to know now than to get in too deep - this isn't like your 3rd date or anything.

Every guy is going to be the wrong guy until you meet the right one.

See, I'm not sure he ISNT the right one, maybe he is the right one for right now. You don't learn to have relationships by NOT having relationships, especially if you're 45. If you are having a nice time and he is a decent enough guy there is nothing wrong with friendly companionship even if he isn't her ideal of marriage material or her knight in shining armor. I have read a few things Dogma has written that indicate she can enjoy his company and she isn't with him solely out of boredom and deperation. She is smarter than that. I think being honest with him and getting his reaction is great training for this relationship or any other. They have both spent considerable time and effort, and his part, money to show that he is "in". I think he is really interested in seeing more of Dogma. I don't know what she really needs to tell him but I think a talk would be more in order than an email. That seems like breaking up on a Post-it note. I think this is a "big girl" mature thing and he deserves and she owes herself this trial run. Tell him in person. Or at least on the phone.