The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Sojourner]

As for the crying, he cried when I first tried to break up with him. A lot. And loaded on the guilt about how he wasn't sleeping, and his blood sugar was up, and he was getting in trouble at work, etc.

Duuuude. That ain't EVEN cool.
Seriously, though...none of those things are your problem, Robin. You are not responsible for him. You are only responsible for you.

Sojo - I'm so glad you said it. I wanted to but I didn't want to offend.

Yeah, sometimes that gets me in trouble, but I knew Robin wouldn't be offended. Besides, I'm a selfish bastard and whether someone will be offended by my comments is not typically of concern to me...if they don't know where I'm coming from, well, that's on them. Y'know?

Good Luck, Robin!

[DogMa]

Thanks, guys. (And SoJo, you'd have to work awfully hard to offend me!!)

No second - or third - chance this time, I don't care what he says. I've decided it's not just about interests, it's about values. Because the whole thing about voting and keeping up with the world is a value, not just an interest. At least to me.

So he's just going to have to deal with things; he's a big boy, and breakups are a part of life.

[j0j0ruca]

And when its all said and done he will just be a blip on the dating map. Use the experience as a stepping stone - you've already learned alot about yourself (as to what you want/dont want) from this one experience. Use that info and move on.

Plus you know we are rooting for you and will be here to support ya. Damn it Alex, where are you?!? That girl always has some good words of wisdom. I still owe her for that phone therapy

[DogMa]

She'd just tell me to be a hussy. Or switch teams and come back to LA. Ha.

[j0j0ruca]

She'd just tell me to be a hussy. Or switch teams and come back to LA. Ha.

She wouldn't say to be a hussy. I think she'd agree with the rest of us about cutting him loose pronto. But I KNOW she would say to switch teams and head back to LA. She needs someone who will go to the games with her and not be scared of the heights - lol. We were two rows from the top and once I sat down I wasn't getting up again - holding on to the armrests for fear of falling.

[DogMa]

Oh, I don' t mind the high seats at all. Especially during the conference championships. I'd sit anywhere.

But I really don't want to change teams at this point. Although I'm pretty sure if I could, I wouldn't be single anymore!!

[DogMa]

Just got a message from him. He needs to get his ladder from my garage tonight, so I guess I'll be doing it tonight instead of tomorrow. Might as well get it over with, and on a weeknight he'll have to leave pretty quickly.

But I'm dreading this. Sigh.

[Tawanda]

Robin, I'll be thinking of you!

[DogMa]

It's over. And one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Sigh. But at least it's done, except that I'm going to buy the Spamalot tickets from him.

[bikipatra]

I am so proud of you for taking the high road and not weaseling (not that you would weasel) out like I would. I think this is a major stepping stone in your emotional growth when it comes to relationships.

[DogMa]

Thanks, Biki. I'm glad I did it, too, although it was REALLY hard. He not only cried, he spent about five minutes in my bathroom throwing up.

And he's already e-mailed me this morning asking me to reconsider and"not make the biggest mistake of your life." Which I don't believe he meant to sound as threatening as it did when I just typed it.

[bikipatra]

Oh, gawd. You are so lucky to be out of that relationship. Now that he is not getting what he wants he is getting very manipulative. That would freak me out too. I watch Dr. Phil too often.

[Tawanda]

Robin, that had to have been difficult.

His reaction (the crying and throwing up) sure don't seem normal to me. I can understand him being broken up about someone he feels that he loves not loving him back, and I can imagine a person having a tear or three fall when alone......but to break down and cry in front of you and also get so worked up as to be physically ill? I can't imagine it.

I don't think you've made a huge mistake. I think you've been insightful (as to your needs), thoughtful in how you broke up with him and considerate of his feelings. (just my 2cents)

[j0j0ruca]

Agreeing with everything everyone else before me has posted. I think the biggest mistake was letting it go on so long when you knew in your heart "it" wasn't there.

I know of females - usually teenagers to mid 20s who get sick & throw up when they are dumped - it is more of a girl thing. I don't really know of too many guys - let alone "men" who would do that. Most men are like "SEE YA" and act like it is no big deal.

If your not posting on a daily basis - I'm grabbing Alex and we are heading up there to check freezers Seriously tho, ignore any of his calls and emails - read them if you must but don't reply. He will eventually just go away.

[DogMa]

Well, in talking to him, I learned that what I suspected was true. He has NEVER been out with someone and decided he didn't want to see her again. Which is why he lists among his "failures" several women who went out with him once or twice and then didn't want to go out with him anymore. I've thought from the beginning that he just focuses all his energy on one woman and is just SURE she's the one, when he doesn't even know her. Which is what he did with me.

I tried to tell him that it happens all the time, and people break up and are broken up with all the time, and it's not a failure in any way. I said if that weren't true, everyone would be with the first person they ever dated. He acted like I was crazy.

I'd suggest a counselor of some sort, but I know he won't do it.

And Tawanda, please. He was sobbing and begging the FIRST time I tried to break up with him, and then we'd only known each other two months. Told me he just KNEW I was the one from the minute he saw my profile online. Crazy. But this seems to be what he does. I know I did the right thing. I'd rather be single than be with him, which he also didn't seem to understand. I think he feels a lot of pressure to be with someone - ANYone.