The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[bikipatra]

I did it twice. First it was a Barney purple. Then a darker purple.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

i just dyed my hair black. its like a flat black, not blue black. its just edgy enough i think. give me the extra oomph lol.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

im FREEEZING today. i dont remember being so cold last time, but then again there was a bit more of me! hehe

i feel like ive lost weight this week, like i havent seen the scale since monday morning but i just feel like i lost something, whether it be lbs or inches (or hopefully both!) I will see this monday. i dont want to get too excited only to find out im actually the same. i guess WW jaded me a little. it was really hard for me to lose anything. maybe i wasnt eating the right foods, i was within my points though. I barely saw changes and after being on medifast before i just broke down and came back lol. but im still scared i wont lose. even if i do know better lol.

i know im beautiful (not concieted :P ) but i want to feel beautiful on my wedding day, and just in general. I want to know what its like to find clothes in my size at practically any store, not in only plus size sections. I am going to do this and i am going to see what it feels like and feel fabulous on my wedding day.

speaking of Fabulous. I LOVE my new hair cut! It is absolutely adorable hehe. anyways, not much else going on. just felt like updating.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

im still freezing. today there is a cold front, so this morning when i left for work it felt great but i am freezing once i get inside my office building. I rather be cold than fatter so its fine. My mother saw my new haircut this morning and rather than at least being nice she pushes my bangs out of my face and says it looks better like that. (actually it doesnt, and pushing my hair back makes my face look bigger so bleh... ) Robert made me mad last night. i had an extra snack... but here is my reasoning. i had a popsicle because he was baking Chocolate Chip cookies. i had to walk out of the kitchen twice while i was showing him how to bake them because i was afraid of grabbing cookie dough and running off to a corner and eating it . so instead i figured the less of the two evils was an extra snack. Its less calories than an extra shake so i figured whatever. I think i did good. but he asked " Are you following your diet??" as i grabbed it out of the freezer, and was like isnt that the 3rd one u have had today? So maybe i shouldnt have but i took offense and snapped at him then threw the popsicle back in the freezer and went to our bedroom and cried.

maybe i sound overly sensitive, but growing up with my mother always making comments about me having extra only made my eating worse and only made me feel worse about myself and while she didnt force me to get bigger, it certainly didnt help me eat healthy. and while he was only trying to help me with my diet, it upset me. he came in and talked to me and apologized, so we are fine.

i just feel frusterated, since last night, and living with my brother as well does not help because he does nothing to ever help around the house. i really dont want to go on a rant about what he does to piss me off but i will say DO NOT QUIT YOUR JOB WITH THE UTILITIES DO THIS WEEK!...he supposedly has a job lined up but doesnt know when he will start. he always does stuff like this and IF he cannot come up with bill money I WILL see that he gets kicked out. i am not one to want to cause bad blood but my sanity is more important. the more sane i feel the less fat i get. I said i wouldnt rant but it looks like i already did. i guess i can throw in that he used MY body wash that im trying to make last because it smells amazing and i havent seen it at the stores . grrrr

/ rant

sorry im complaining in here. just feel poopy and sad today. trying to think positively. i know things could be much worse.

[rodeomom]

O -M -G! I think we shared the same body last night. I was my daughter was doing the cookies and RIGHT in front of me. It was such TORTURE! I know my trigger now is cookie dough. I toughed it out though - didn't have an cookie dough, but did have an extra spoonful of the low fat peanut butter. My snack was worse than yours, I had already had my peanut butter alotment for the day, but man I wanted some of that cookie dough.

To top it off I had probs with my mother too. She SWORE that the new 18 Gloria Vanderbilt jeans I just bough just had to be sized wrong. Because I couldn't possibly be in 18's yet. ARG! No problem for her to brag about her stupid 6's, but heaven for bid I even mention my newest purchase.

Breath Bren Breath....

OK sorry to rant on your journal - it just seemed like I was reading about my day and not yours. GOOD FOR YOU FOR STAYING AWAY FROM THE COOKIES! That extra snack was WAY better.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

O -M -G! I think we shared the same body last night. I was my daughter was doing the cookies and RIGHT in front of me. It was such TORTURE! I know my trigger now is cookie dough. I toughed it out though - didn't have an cookie dough, but did have an extra spoonful of the low fat peanut butter. My snack was worse than yours, I had already had my peanut butter alotment for the day, but man I wanted some of that cookie dough.

To top it off I had probs with my mother too. She SWORE that the new 18 Gloria Vanderbilt jeans I just bough just had to be sized wrong. Because I couldn't possibly be in 18's yet. ARG! No problem for her to brag about her stupid 6's, but heaven for bid I even mention my newest purchase.

Breath Bren Breath....

OK sorry to rant on your journal - it just seemed like I was reading about my day and not yours. GOOD FOR YOU FOR STAYING AWAY FROM THE COOKIES! That extra snack was WAY better.

lol actually this made me laugh (not at ur situation,just the similarities). my trigger is usually emotional, so today im feeling it but im just going to remember i have nearly 5 and a half months to go til the wedding, so time is of the essence and tripping up my progress over cookies just isnt worth it.

thanks for your comment though and congrats on the size 18 pants! dont listen to your mom and i wont listen to mine lol

[rodeomom]

dont listen to your mom and i wont listen to mine lol

DEAL!!!

I was laughing too, I just couldn't believe the similarities!

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

dont listen to your mom and i wont listen to mine lol

DEAL!!!

I was laughing too, I just couldn't believe the similarities!

lol yeah thats hilarious, just when you think you are the only one having to deal with that crap. tada!!!

im not really smiling in my prom pic from when i was leaving the house because my mom was all trying to adjust my dress to hide my chub... sometimes i just need to tune her out.

im hoping i get to goal before the wedding so there is no chub for her to even comment on. AND i will be bridezilla if she finds something else to comment on. my day.. and i will b**** if i want to

[bikipatra]

I love that show. I watch it when they do the marathons of it.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

hehe bridezillas is a great show. its like all the what not to do on your wedding day stuff. the ones that think everything should go perfect are seriously kidding themselves.


im not feeling to good... i think i may try and get out of work an hour early. feelin sick

[bikipatra]

I'm sorry! Hope you get off early....

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

thanks biki, i didnt but i toughed it out. lucky it went away. though i felt sick again yesterday before i left to go work at ulta. not sure if its medifast making my body a lil wonky. i dont remember it doing that before though :/

[bikipatra]

thanks biki, i didnt but i toughed it out. lucky it went away. though i felt sick again yesterday before i left to go work at ulta. not sure if its medifast making my body a lil wonky. i dont remember it doing that before though :/

Could be. It is a big change for your body just like going back to food was for me.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

down 3.2 lbs! yay i was scared to get on the scale because i did bad friday, even though i did better this weekend . so seeing that made me feel awesome. im 1.4 lbs away from when i tried on my wedding gown and it wont be in for another 2-3 weeks or a month. So YAY hehe. working at ulta yesterday went good, i was a lil overwhelmed at first. ( they sorta left me alone in the fragrances, something i really dont have a clue about and i dont know much about the rest of the stuff there right now other than makeup ) but then i talked to the manager and asked if its more or less, learning as i go along and she smiled and said yea. I was on the register for a bit, which im actually pretty comfortable with (naturally, being a closet computer nerd). my feet hurt sooooo bad after 6 hours of standing OWWIE! oh well, losing weight will be good for my legs, maybe not make my feet hurt less though.

saturday we had dinner with my friend linda, her husband and their sons. her husband is marrying us and is a local mayor it was really great seeing her again and catching up and talking wedding plans. Im very excited about it

well...onto the bad stuff....normally people would be happy hearing this but i was beyond pissed, nauseated, angry, sickened...etc

my sister is pregnant. ill back up and explain why this upsets me. she already has TWO kids that my mother takes care of! my mother that is almost 60 now and completely stressed and has horrible problems with her legs since she gained so much weight from all the stress my sister gives her.

my cousin found out she was pregnant a couple months back and i even said i was worried this would happen because im getting married and rachel is having a baby allison is jealous that there is no spotlight on her. I wanted to call her last night and scream obscenities. all she cares about is herself and she thinks that maybe this will get the family to help her out like they used to. what she really is doing it pushing my mom and aunt who are not in good health one step closer to their grave. my aunt told me she feels so sick everytime she thinks about it.

I get so scared of them being gone one day, especially my aunt though because she has always been the one to hold everyone together, and my mother i feel like i am watching her get worse and worse. im going to see about taking my oldest nephew on or two days this week from her just to give her a break. i feel bad that i cant be there to help out with them more.

roberts mom and i were talking and she said, i cant take on all these things as my problem, but sometimes its hard not to want to try and help everyone else out. i dont want to watch my nephews walk down the wrong road like their mother and i dont want to stand back as my sister kills my mother and aunt (in my eyes its exactly what she is doing by causing them so much hurt and stress from everything she does).

but in the end robert is going to be my main priority, my husband. and I cannot , repeat, cannot put him on the back burner just because my family feels like its in a mess right now.

ugh, i need to go get ready for work. im glad i posted this now rather than at work. this makes me just want to go cry. i feel like there isnt much i can do.

[DntCryLilEmoGrl]

i kept trying to get myself to post this week but havent been able to. Ive just been feeling bummed/overwhelmed all week. I really am ready to be done with trying to figure out all this wedding stuff. I feel so clueless with some of it but then again i think ive done good at planning thus far.

The crap with my sister irritates me so much but im doing my best not to think about it or her for the most part. Then trying to get a hold of bridesmaids is like pulling teeth at times. Im thinking i shouldnt have had a bridal party or i should have only had a couple girls. Its frustrating, im not asking a lot, i just wanted to get together with them and let them know when to order the dress and see if they could help me on a few things or go check out stuff with me. but bleh...no... its more or less 1 of them but its also a lil frustrating that roberts sis is preggo so its going to be hard to figure out what size for her esp since we need to order it before the baby comes.

I got the proposal from the first florist. it was 1000 for all flowers, attendant flowers and centerpieces. bleh... robert was not happy with that so im looking around still. i just really want to make sure whoever i find can do the bouquet i want. honestly i dont care if we stick weeds on the table. i just want a nice bouquet lol... I was hoping that would come backa bit lower, there is certainly stuff i can take off. like i dont REALLY think it necessary to put butineers on my nephews because they will end up just destroying the dang things anyways . 10 dollars for that is not worth it in my opinion. if anything ill pin a damn ribbon on them if it makes people feel better. personally i dont care. just like i can hand make a bouquet to toss, rather than spending an extra 35, and the cake flowers, i can buy gumpaste ones for 10-20 bucks rather than 70 for ones taht will die anyways.

bleh...anyways, ive been doing OKAY on medifast this week. i dont really think i made much progress cuz a couple times i did cheat. but we will see on monday.