DntCryLilEmoGrl

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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 26th, 2006, 1:43 pm

ok.... thats it ! im officially declaring this ! IM NOT STEPPING ON THE SCALE TIL SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol i keep doin it every morning and its not changing and it makes me sad lol. hopefully im in the 180's by the weekend . if not im not freaking out. i want to go do circuit training again...only doing it a couple days out of the week isnt bad is it? im tryin not to outdo myself by lifting too much weights . anyways so yeah...

things seem to be going well with dan...better than i thought heh... to me it seemed he was losing interest...hadnt heard from him in a few days.. after being called nightly . well i felt like calling him out on it because i just dont like games at all, if ur not interested just say it, there are plenty other guys. anyways so i texted him and said "you seem to have lost interest" he texted me back a little after to tell me he definitely hadnt , i guess when i told him i dont like negativity when he was kinda complaining about work the other night he was afraid to call me and annoy me if he was upset about the job situation. he mistook me... i just dont like people complaining and not doing anything about it lol. so we talked last night for a little while...both of us had crappy reception...but it was nice. i dont know when ill see him next though... our schedules suck...but maybe that is a good thing...keeps things slow :D
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
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DntCryLilEmoGrl
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 27th, 2006, 10:29 pm

im going to be bouncing off the walllllll tomorrow..err today...lol bought some instant coffee since i cant stand my french vanilla shakes regular anymore...but LOOOOOOVE them with instant coffee ...yummmmm :P


posted some new pics AND emailed unca a pic for my avatar! woohoo... why am i still up? oh right...im always up this late...hehe... gonna go do some packing:P things are really good right now... the living situation i think is pretty sorted out... so that makes me really relieved...
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
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DntCryLilEmoGrl
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Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 28th, 2006, 11:59 am

sooo...my hypothesis was right... apparently caffiene has more of an affect on me if i dont workout before hand ( i usually go to my aunts in the morning hop on treadmill and go swimming then make a vanilla shake with instant coffee) .. so i was completely wired at work for the past few hours and now im totally crashing from that caffiene high i was on... wow... headache lol. im going to have another one around lunch time, but maybe not use the full teaspoon of instant coffee. i actually had to slow down my talking because i was talking to customers wayyy too fast hehe. one of my friends at work asked me if i had "gotten some" last night because i was acting so giddy... i said yeah i did... i got some coffee :P
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
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DntCryLilEmoGrl
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Postby caligirl » July 28th, 2006, 12:02 pm

I'll have to try that...
Decaf of course!
Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right... Henry Ford

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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 28th, 2006, 12:03 pm

yeah... i think i need to get decaf next time lol...wooopsie :D
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 30th, 2006, 3:30 pm

well the scale really really treated me well this week. since the beginning of the week im down a total of 4 lbs putting me at 186 :). i couldnt believe it when i saw that on the scale this morning. im trying to decide on whether i should stop @ 150 or not. last time i was at that weight i thought i looked decent (looking at old pics), and i dont want to be superskinny, and like i stated before lol i like my big boobs :P. anyways if i decide to stop there which im considering alot, then ive only got 36 lbs left. if i go to 140 thats still only 46 lbs. feels like just yesterday i was feeling overwhelmed with even starting this diet and now today its like nothing to me, its taking care of myself. and im working out almost everyday and it feels terrific.

so yesterday i had a big me day. i went shopping and bought 3 skirts marked large in the MISSES section! they are sooo cute and perfect for work or outside of work (i.e. dates and what not) and i bought a cute happy bunny t shirt that says "makeover? you need to be run over!" , 2 camisoles and a shrug to cover the spagetti straps for work, 3 new 38DD (yes thats right! ) bras that are cute, and new underwear (since my old boycut undies were starting to look like boxers). i must say trying to get by wearing those old ddd bras with a sports bra i couldnt see as much of a difference in my chest as i can now, its soo great :) . so i came home with my new finds then went through my clothes and got rid of about 2/3's of what i had so now my closet isnt all cramped and i dont have but 1 pair of size twenties (but they are small, the same size as my 18s , either way they are comfortably loose lol).

last night we also watched "the life of david gale", "boondock saints", and "she's the man" , fun stuff :P. i havent heard from dan again but im thinking i dont care much, maybe i like him more as a friend...
my ex is still confusing me at times which doesnt help, he is with his gf but yet sometimes acts like he misses me and says things that make me wonder (we are still really good friends and we work together). im going to just leave it where it's at. maybe he is just realizing what he gave up lol (not to mention the nice figure what he gave up possesses now lol)

:twisted:
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » July 30th, 2006, 6:13 pm

so i changed my goal to 145...i think that would be good..if i decide i want to lose a bit more when i get there i can keep going then. that means 3.5 lbs and im halfway there
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby Elke » July 30th, 2006, 6:24 pm

You are doing so good. Nothing better than shopping for clothes...make that smaller clothes :)
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Postby Sojourner » July 30th, 2006, 11:57 pm

That is way kewl - you are SO close to your halfway point!
:hi5:
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~

Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » August 7th, 2006, 1:23 pm

been quiet for a bit... only down another lb...havent marked it yet, ill see how much i lose this week... i do however fit into larger 13/14's :) that felt so great. i got my lip pierced last night, none of my family really like it but i do lol..besides piercings can always be taken out.

i ended things with dan. i just wasnt feeling it. and truth be told i still care about someone else...him and i are thinking of trying things over again.. so we will see how that goes. like my cousin said, some things take more than 1 try to get right.

anyways just thought i would give a lil update
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
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Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » August 13th, 2006, 8:14 pm

This week has been such a mixture of emotion. I've never felt happier, and I've also had a loss which I am not completely sure how to feel or if it has really hit me completely yet. So what should I start with? The good or the bad? Eh i like to end things on a good note...so ill get into the bad first.


the bad- My grandmother on my dad's side passed away. I had been trying to get together money to fly up there and see her before her cancer got worse but it seems the time ran out. I still can't afford to go up there to the funeral this week. Some part of me really feels maybe its better i didnt see her before she passed. Her and i had gotten back a relationship after over 10 years, we talked on the phone several times over the past 3 years after my dad passed away. I just think it would have hurt even more flying up there to see her knowing that would be the last time I would see her. Seeing her in the shape she was in, knowing she didnt have much more time. That would have been devestating. Right now i feel more at peace with it, but still a little sad. I ordered a flower arrangement and am having it delivered to the funeral home . its a really pretty arrangement. First time i ever ordered flowers be delivered. But it will be my way of going there and paying my respect to her and the rest of my family up there since i cant afford to go. so.. i feel some closure with that. eh what more can you do? She is with my dad now and he'll take care of her and she missed him alot .

the good- My ex boyfriend robert and i are back together. Maybe I should feel more hesitant about getting back together with him, but him and i just make sense. Even while we were broken up we were best friends. He gets me, I get him. I am completely myself around him and he makes me laugh...alot. Why we broke up? His ex had alot of problems, last time he had left her so suddenly and she started doing a bunch of stupid things, he felt responsible, went back to try and help her. Realized he isnt responsible and cant stop her from doing things unless she wants to stop. Some of my friends think i shouldnt have taken him back...but really..he was with her nearly a year, and im sure at one time things were better with her, him and i were together for a month and a half when we broke up and we had gotten together right after he had left her. I wanted to be sure that he wants me, and not just because things didnt work out. I've been setting up hoops for him to prove himself that this is what he really wants and he keeps jumping through them for me. I trust him, despite him going back and the good days outweigh the bad by far. As one of my close friends told me. "to win the war on love you cant be afriad to die"


oh and im down another lb...almost 40 lbs...grrr its been TOM so i havent lost much ...now at 184...:) need to change my ticker.
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby Sojourner » August 14th, 2006, 1:37 am

Wow Jen, I'm really sorry about your grandmother. It's so hard to deal with a loss like that. At least you can take comfort in the fact that you had resumed your relationship with her. I wish I was rich and had my own plane -- I'd fly you out!

About Robert...(I love that name! [DH's name])...your friend makes a good point. I don't know about dying, but sometimes it is definitely worth taking a risk in order to be happy. Life is all about taking risks, and you are the only one who knows if it's right. Best of Luck!!!
~*~*~*Sojourner*~*~*~

Shake it gone, babeee!!!
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Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » August 14th, 2006, 11:33 am

thanks for your condolences, really it means alot. Im doing good though, i guess i take comfort alot that she is in heaven with my dad now and my dad is probably making her laugh as he always did with everyone.

and i didnt mean die for real lol, like when people fight wars they cant fear getting hurt, so you cant go into a relationship fearing getting hurt, risks are definitely good. and thanks for the good wishes. :)
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » August 15th, 2006, 4:12 pm

so day 2 of being absolutely and completely complaint is going good. When i know im having little cheats here and there i try and buckle down again. my reward for 1 week of full compliance will be better headphones for my mp3 player. i hate earbuds because they make my ears hurt after a while and never stay in good...i think i have tiny ears...i have no clue but either way I HATE EM! lol. I still can't get over how much has changed in just one week. today i was switching back to my old cell phone so i was deleting duplicate entries in my phone book when i saw my grandma's number. i deleted it, but man... it got me misty eyed. I probably would have cried if i was at home but i was at work at the time. Things with robert are going well, sometimes i can't believe we are back together. I guess in the back of my mind after things ended before i would say to myself maybe we would get back together but that was a highly unlikely situation, and then boom...here we are...back together..and whats even better is how much different he acts (in a good way). Maybe he just wasn't ready before? Maybe it was just bad timing. But now its like he wants to make all these efforts to be with me, he wants to stick around. He actually talks about things down the road where before neither of us would. I am good at reading people, so i don't just think this is all some charade. He has been my best friend (other than rayray of course, she is my cousin...more like my sister than that though). but he has been my best friend since we became friends earlier this year and when we were together before i had a strong feeling about him, the strong feeling everyone says you get when "you know". after we broke up i thought well maybe i was wrong.

but i dont think i was .

today is a good day.
-im compliant
-im happy
-my muffintops are shrinkin still :P
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

Postby DntCryLilEmoGrl » August 18th, 2006, 8:58 am

just thought i would share the office prank a friend and i did this morning. this guy at work doug is obsessed with snakes on a plane and a bunch of us are all going together to see it tonight since its the opening night for it. well... we made snakes in a cubicle for him lol

Image
"Soon to be mrs sexy pants"
lilemo's getting married on April 6th 2008!!!!!

started changing my life 5/15/06
restarted 10/01/07
User avatar
DntCryLilEmoGrl
Preferred Member - #40 Club
 
Posts: 488
Joined: May 11th, 2006, 8:44 am
Location: Casslberry FL

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