The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Nancy]

Announcing The World's Thinnest Books ~~@~~

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac


HOW I SERVED MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Janet Reno

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE
by John Denver

MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS
by Dan Marino

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
by Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

MY WILD YEARS
by Al Gore

AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS

DETROIT: a Travel Guide

A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES
by the EPA

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson

And the world's Number One Thinnest Book .

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton
with introduction
by The Rev. Jessie Jackson

[explorthis]

AMAZING PASTA DIET!!

1) You walka pasta da bakery.

2) You walka pasta da candy store.

3) You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop.

4) You walka pasta da table and fridge.

Also CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY CARBS IN YOUR DIET?

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.


CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Things to say when receiving gifts you don’t like.


- Hey, there’s a gift.

- Well, well, well…

- Boy, if I hadn’t of shot up 4 sizes, that would’ve fit!

- Perfect for wearing in the basement.

- Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

- If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious.

- I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

- Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

- To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity!

[hawaiiwhatnot]

A Safe and Happy New Years Celebration to all...


5 Stages of drunkenness

Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert
on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know
everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who
will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of
course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This
makes for an interesting argument when both parties are
SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING This is when you realize that you
are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that
people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger
knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you.
Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to
this person about any subject under the sun.

Stage 3 - RICH This is when you suddenly become the richest
person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar
because you have an armored truck full of money parked
behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage,
because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you
win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos
you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that
you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in
the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF You are now ready to pick fights
with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you
have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can
hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners
of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of
wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle
because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER
LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE
YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you
fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see
you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to
fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the
top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and
because you're still SMART you know all the words. *******