The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[JulieAnn]

I just need to vent alittle today. I have been on medifast for 1 year now and I have lost a total of 75 pounds. I went to a luncheon and one of my friends who knows about my medifast weight loss brought it up to another friend who hadn't seen me for maybe 5 months and her response was, Oh, well I could tell something was different. I just think its funny how people really don't pay other people that much attention. That when someone loses a great deal of weight , its like "Did you cut your hair?" It's just frustrating because my mind says maybe you don't look that different. It's funny how much we feel people think about our physical appearance and the reality is they really don't......

[BerkshireGrl]

I hear ya!

Don't you worry! 75 pounds is A LOT of weight off, and her lack of reaction probably has very little to do with the fact she didn't notice... maybe she didn't know how to say "you look great!" without indicating you were heavier before? or she was jealous a bit? or just off in la-la land?

I once dyed my hair bright red from brown and people I worked with either said nothing or stood there and said "Wait, don't tell me... I'll get it... you look different SOMEHOW."

Yes, it sure can be disheartening to feel you are not really and truly seen, especially by those you are close to. They of all people should be like Wowie Zowie!

You just keep trucking! It's YOUR body, and YOU know how wonderful you feel. Patooey on those with the faint praise!

[martha]

JULIE ANN--

WELCOME TO OUR FORUM!!!!!!!!!!
WOW you have already lost 75#.. that's GREAT!!! keep up th good work..Don't worry about her not noticing that you lost weight.. Some people are just RUDE and so into their own selves they can't see pass their own nose.. I mean how could she not notice as 75# is a lot of difference.. I know you look good..have a great week and we are glad you are here with us..Martha

[JulieAnn]

Sarah and Martha,

Thanks for the kind words I needed it..... You two have a great week as well.


Julie Ann

[Jan]

Oh Baloney,
She noticed alright. How could anyone fail to notice 75 pounds gone. I think she for some reason or another just didn't want to say anything.. Don't worry about it -- just because she "did'nt notice" doesn't mean the 75 pounds are not gone. They are. Some people just don't like to say nice things but they sure will point out problem areas. That's just people but fortunately our well being is not dependent upon them.

jan
my goodness I must be cranky tonight

[sister]

Hi Julie Ann,

I experienced the same reaction from a few people recently. A couple of them are overweight themselves and I think they didn't want to confront the issue. It was better to just ignore it.
But one of them really surprised me...
he saw a picture of me from December 2004 and one taken in June, plus I was standing in front of him. He was genuinely in disbelief. He said, "I don't remember you being so heavy, when was this taken?" He was one of a few people who did not see my outward appearance. He is thrilled for me that I have lost 60 pounds but was really shocked at the "fat" picture.
(You can see it on the www link below.) It's still sinking in for me that there is really a visible difference. I still see "fat" everyday when I look in the mirror. I just have to remind myself that it's not what it used to be and I'm getting better everyday.
It was very enlightening for me - what we think people are seeing and thinking about us and what is actually happening. He didn't see the fat before - how is that possible??!!!
Be proud of yourself for yourself! You are taking back your health and your life! There is no doubt you look fantastic - 75 pounds gone for good - totally awesome!
Keep on shakin'!

[ljm498]

Oh, don't you worry, she noticed alright. It's just impossible for some people to be happy for anyone else. It could be just about anything and if this person sees anything in someone else's life that is great he/she is going to feel threatened and resentful. I really don't understand it myself but I know a few people like that myself. Don't think for a second that your weight loss isn't noticeable and that you are looking just great! I know what you mean by that when you look in the mirror you still see fat. I'm right there with you on that one and it is very hard to get past. I just have to remind myself of factual things about my weight loss, such as, well, my bmi no longer says I'm obese, or I fit into much smaller clothes. My eyes and my brain sometimes don't seem to be connected in what is ACTUALLY there. I guess we need to readjust our "programming" to see our real selves. That will take some time.

But, rest assured, you are doing GREAT and that person knows it well.

[KeleeGrl]

Julie Ann....she definitely noticed and I think she was just jealous of your great success...and I do mean great! 75# is Awesome

[mytime]

Julie Ann - SO funny but I was thinking something very similar today. I have lost a mere 30lbs but my family and some others have mentioned they can really see a difference. Then I am at work today and the 2 ah - overweight women who work for me have said nothing. Now I know I am not nuts and the last time I lost wt before my daughter they made comments much after the fact - like you really inpsired me when you lost all of that weight on x and so now I am doing it. So let me tell you girlfriend while I do believe that our weight to some degree is a much bigger deal to us ie refusing to go some where b.c we are heavy and have nothing to wear - I can assure you she noticed and is GREEN and I mean GREEN with envy. It can be scary for those who have counted on us to be fat to accept we are going through a change. They struggle with it and I am very sad to say they may unconsciously sabatoge our efforts -family and yes spouses. You see when you make a major chnage they are forced to change as well. And no matter how much people don't like where they are or what they are doing, it is often better than the unknown. SHE SAW IT - Are you kidding me 75 pounds ???? You are awesome and the people who care know it, see it and can share their happiness for you - I know I do, Mytime
PS the next time someone asks if you have changed something and doesn't mention your weight you could always tell them you have increased your sexual activity and feel this must be responsible for your glow People can be such asse* Mytime

[Nancy]

Dear Julie Ann ~

75 pounds?!

Oh, MyLanta!

Boy, Howdy! She noticed!

re:

Oh, well I could tell something was different

Yup, something is different all right.

The ahh, other so-called 'friend' must have had a cerebral vacuum or something because her brain obviously is no longer in a functioning mode...

How sad and terribly self-centered she is to not say anything about your marvelous weight loss success.

Maybe we could all line up and and and and and

Hunny Bunny, I want you to know that I know how it feels.

My supervisor at the college where I USED to work until I became a Health Advisor, never ONCE mentioned a thing about my 135 pound weight loss.

Nothing.

I saw her 4 days a week.

She bustled and hustled her flabby backside by my glass office numerous times a day.

Holy Moly! Students and staff alike were lined up outside my classroom window peering in to see what I was wearing or how I looked and that wire-haired wanna-be-thinner donkey-hearted muley girl never once mentioned a single solitary word about my weight loss - she never told me that I looked nice or asked me what I was doing - for crying out loud! Some people actually hemmed and hawed and finally reluctantly asked me if I had cancer or some devastating disease because I was getting thinner!

It became my challenge to get her to say something. I wore very leopardy outfits to school - like leopard print stockings, handbags, shoes, etc. She loved animal prints and yet she never even commented on anything I wore - I mean the male staff was taking extra walks past my office, peering and leering, waving and raving about me and yet…nothing from her.

When I resigned from the college, Terry was with me and he mentioned to her that Nancy no longer had time for her work at the college because of her weight loss success she had many precious people that needed her and she just had a blank stare...

We must do this for ourselves, Little Darlin' - if we are to get it all off and to keep it all off, we must be self-motivated and self-preserving.

We will always be faced with those who want to see us mess up, with those who are so jealous they will not (and maybe they cannot say anything, I dunno - haven't figured that one out yet) acknowledge our success and there will come a time when we will be thinner, we will meet people who will not know our foody/fatty history and we will not get rewarded by their praises and accolades for our hard-earned accomplishment.

You, my MakeMeThinner Forum Family fill my tank. You praise me and encourage me and we do it for one another but there will come a time when you are on your own and you have to keep on choosing wisely for yourself - not for the praise of people but for the health of it.

75 pounds is a whole lotta lot to lose. It takes a strong commitment, self-control, determination and a desire to be different and to do things differently. It is not easy. Some days may not be as difficult as others but it never is easy-weesy. You have done a very difficult thing, Julie Ann.

We love ya for loving yourself!

[BerkshireGrl]

You have done a very difficult thing, Julie Ann.

AMEN, Sister!

[Swift3260]

Some people feel that if they say how great you look now then they are saying you were really fat before, and are worried you might be offended.

GREAT JOB!!!!!

[martha]

Swift3260---

WELCOME---WELCOME---WELCOME

We are so glad to have you with us.. and posting..It's true that some people think it's better to not say anything as you lose weight because they don't want you to know they noticed you had gained weight..Isn't that strange as WE know we have Just ignore them and keep on losing those unwanted pounds We can do this together..Martha

[fedup]

Yup! Whether they just don't know what to say or they're too "green" to say anything, it's still tough. (I think it's usually a little of both... it's hard for others to talk about weight, and it's doubly hard if they have there own issues and resent your success!)

My example- When I first did MF last fall, and had great results, my SO's mother (who is always dieting) didn't say much at all. Just the occassional "you don't eat anything but that stuff??" or something like it. Now when I'm making the comittment to do my 100 day plan, the first thing she said was... "you'll break it... 100 days, no way!" Well, I have one thing to say to her.....

THANK YOU!!! That really has helped me keep focus. I guess it's my own stuborness, but NO-Body, and I mean NO-Body is gonna tell me I can't do something! I did it before, even if it was for a lesser time, and I'm doing it again this time! As a side effect I'll be able to say a quiet "Ha" inside when I talk with her along the way about how many days it's been etc... (Hey, we all need our little moments huh! )

[JulieAnn]

Hi Fedup,

I know what you mean. Sometimes someones rude comments are all it takes to really modivate me....
Keep up the good work on MF. I noticed you are in Ohio. I was born in Akron, my mom is from there. My goal is 150 too... Happy shakin'