Before I introduce myself, I want to thank you all for your incredibly honest and supportive posts. I have been logged in all day reading them, learning as much as I could, and discovering peoples' histories, and how they are making Medifast work for them.
I'm sure that in the future I will be thanking you more personally for helping me get through this - my final weight loss.
I am 33 years old, single, live in western Massachusetts, in the beautiful Berkshires, where the leaves are just full of the most amazing colors right now... you can guess where my name comes from now
I have struggled with my weight since I was a teenager. I had some difficult issues with food as a child, due to some unfortunate lessons ingrained by being raised to eat ALL my food at dinner regardless of liking it or not, under the count of a ticking timer, or face being force-fed the remainder. I have thoroughly forgiven those responsible for that, because I understand what drove them, and resentment never helps one get over injuries.
I was lucky before I hit ye ol' puberty that I was super skinny, but then... hormones got the best of me and I sprouted in all directions! I went from a size 10 to a 16 in high school, slimmed down to a 10 again in college from all the walking over the gigantic campus of UMass, but afterwards, before grad school, I earned my living by waitressing. Part of that was free or really cheap great-tasting food served by the restaurants I worked in. This wonder buffet combined with much less exercise did me in. The pounds piled on. I went into grad school a size 16/18 a year after graduating from college.
After grad school, I worked for a high-end Jewish caterer near Baltimore. Part of that was a very nice work environment - and, you guessed it, a free lunch. This was mostly very rich and wonderful foods, and hard to resist. Being a size 20, I didn't resist much!
Time passed... I moved back to my home state in 1999. I was now a size 20/22, and that was ENOUGH. No more fat! I joined Weight Watchers, weighing 208, and dieted for years, swinging back up and down, until on my 30th birthday in 2001, I had managed to lose 52 pounds, getting to 156, and a size 8. Wow. It was SWEET. I could not believe my thighs didn't rub together anymore. That was one of the best benefits, heh!
Then, what the heck happened? I had fallen in love with someone for the first time, and wow, the highs and lows of that relationship were intense. I discovered in time that I had fallen for someone who harbored a lot of fear and damage from an awful upbringing, and I almost lost myself trying to "save" them. This went on for three years, until we parted ways in the middle of, of course, a gigantic fight, in Feb. 2003, just after Valentine's Day. Ugh.
I wish I could say I sucked it up and was a mature strong woman, but I fell into a big depression. Before this relationship, I drank very rarely, maybe one or two at a party, but never alone. I was acutely aware that one side of my family had a history of alcoholism that had wreaked havoc with many lives, and caused death. I also didn't binge eat, or purge through throwing up. But I started to do all of this.
I look back and it's like seeing total insanity, outside of myself. I handled stress in the most awful ways; drinking a bottle of wine a night, eating an entire large pizza, then even adding a pint of ice cream, sometimes feeling so disgusting afterwards that I threw up, and ended up crying in grief next to the toilet. Boy. What a nightmare.
For the past few months, I have tried Weight Watchers again, but maybe due to my poor food choices, I was not consistently losing, and I was HUNGRY. I was being dumb and skipping meals, working my butt off at my job, "too busy" to eat lunch, then getting home feeling like I'd die from lack of food. Then I'd eat like mad to make up for starving during the day. Duh.
I was getting heavier, and heavier. I weighed 216, 8 pounds MORE than I had when I joined WW 5 years ago. I was getting desperate, and I mean really desperate. I looked into gastric bypass surgery, and saw that for my insurance to cover it, I'd need to weigh more like 250-265.
I am ashamed to admit I actually thought of overeating even MORE so I could get heavy enough to get this surgery, and finally not be ABLE to binge anymore.
Then I was researching my options some more. In a forum I regularly read, a man posted about his and his wife's success using HMR, a liquid diet, to lose hundreds of pounds. He cited the data that said WW had a 5% success rate (meaning 5% kept their weight loss off after 2 years hitting goal), while liquid diets had a 22% success rate. He also said studies indicated that LDs were more successful for the obese. That was me - I was obese. My BMI was 33, over the 30/obese line.
That was enough for me. I read all about HMR, Optifast, and Medifast. I decided Medifast sounded like the best route for me, because I liked that it was well-studied, high in protein, and had been used in the medical community for so long.
I did some deep thinking and jumped. I got my 1-month kit Friday. Today is the end of my first full day... and you know what? I feel FINE. I have had twinges of hunger, but they have been speedily fixed by eating every 3 hours. I have drunk over 10 cups of water so far. I am peeing like mad
but now I am on my way to my goal. The Dutch Chocolate shakes, the Chicken Noodle Soup and Chicken & Wild Rice Soup, the bars, are all so good! I was skeptical and thought hmmm, low-cal diet food full of protein powder is going to be gross. I am happy to say I can definitely see myself eating this and a Lean & Green dinner for the next 4 months.
I am going on a 3-day vacation to see friends in Maryland Oct. 29-31, and I am bringing my Medifast foods with me! Yeah! I'm going to a big Halloween party too, and I'm not going to be pigging out during it. Instead I'll just party party!
So tonight.... in parting... phew! thanks for reading my story... I am feeling saved, and serene, and I know I can do this. I know I will come up against hard times but I am ready. I am going to make it through this and come out the other side having learned why I did such harm to myself, and how to really take care of myself.
Good night all! Thanks again for your stories.
Me and my dad get to be the strongmen today, heh! My poor grandmother has just come back from Texas after a week down there with my parents, getting all her stuff in order for a move back up North. And now she has a bad case of bronchitis. Fun fun... @#$%&!
hearty 
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