The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[need2succeed]

Another side effect of losing weight: The crossing of the invisibility barrier.

I'm back on the radar screen for other men now! It's amazing how they suddenly notice you after you've shed some pounds...

[explorthis]

Oh no, we notice you all the time, before, during, and after. Now that you have shed a few pounds, it just allows us to show how really dumb we are by opening up our mouths and commenting, or spewing some form of unintelligible English about your loss. Of course we never comment and say how nice you look before any loss, but now it’s an excuse for our ego’s to pass through our mouths and be exposed.

We are dorks, plain and simple. Any man that say’s he is not, is lying.

-Mike

[Jeanette]

Spoken like the true King of the Dorks!

[RavenKat]

In defense of men - they are the ONLY ones that have mentioned my weight loss. Not one female has said a damn thing. Not even the ones I see all the time and actually PROMPTED with I have lost 50 pounds. My best friend, who hasn't seen me since I've lost weight is constantly praising me and giving me "props" over the phone, but the chicks in my office just blithely go along and keep any compliments to themselves. WHATEVER!

Go MEN!!!!!

Kat

[Jeanette]

Ya know Kat, they are just jealous!! Women can be really b*tchy to each other when it comes to this kind of thing. Not sure why....

[explorthis]

No, it's not just Women that are jealous:

Ok, so I am sitting in the break room at lunch yesterday with my buddy. I have spoken of him before. I used to weigh well in excess of 70 pounds more than him; he is “my ideal size” for what I want to look like, now I am about 25 pounds lighter than him.

Anyone have a person they know, and think – if I could look like him/her proportionately it would be great?

So, we are sitting there, one of the female employees is chatting with us, nothing about weight or dieting, the word “loss” comes up, again, nothing with weight, and she says to HIM – “oh you look like you have lost some weight” WHHHHHAAAAT? Him? Lost weight? Common – I lost all the weight – Who cares about HIM! (All this going through my mind – I did not vocally say any of this, acting like I was not even paying attention)

Just fried me that she noticed HIM instead of making another comment about my loss….. (Of course I did not say a word)

WHY DID THIS BOTHER ME?

We compliment, we don’t compliment, we notice, we don’t say we notice, we want to be noticed.

Oh the web we continue to tangle.

[Sylvia]

You can drive yourself crazy about people noticing/not noticing your loss! I am fortunate enough to work with a great bunch of folks. Many know I'm doing this and all have been very supportive. Some days I get all kinds of compliments about how great I look, etc. Other days, I see people looking at me, am waiting for the "hey, you're really looking great", and get... NOTHING. Then of course I start thinking about whether what I'm wearing looks bad, whether you can even tell I've lost weight at all, etc., etc. The next day, I try to wear something that really makes me look "thin". This is crazy.

I want to be thin enough so that I can't look fat no matter what I wear. Then I remeber when I was thin, I still felt I looked fat in some things. I guess it's all relative. I just need to get to a good weight for me and stop obsessing about it!

[Simmshe]

It never ceases to amaze me how insecure some women are--even the ones who are thin. I've seen some very attractive, insecure women, over cozying up to their men when another attractive woman is around, sizing the other woman up and down!

And it's like the heavier ones are jealous of you and take comfort in you being heavier than they are and are envious because you are doing something that they are not--losing weight. And the ones who are already thin feel threatened because they can no longer hold their self-proclaimed superiority over you as they did when you were heavier. Competition, competition, competition!

I'm willing to bet that most, if not all of us women here have gotten the "pretty face" compliment countless times . So, now the thin ones feel threatened because the "pretty face" will have the "pretty body" to go along with it.

And of course, I don't mean all women--don't want to make blanket statements, but definitely the insecure ones. This is my take on it .

Sheryl

[Simmshe]

Mike, is this woman a little overweight? I'm curious ...

Sheryl

[explorthis]

Mike, is this woman a little overweight? I'm curious ...

Actually no. She is a very "proper" (hair, nails, clothes, status - even rides a full dress Harley on the weekends - YES) tall sales rep. She is probably (guessing) 130-140, mid-late 50's very proper fashion dresser, and very thin.

OK, now what?

[Simmshe]

I was just curious because it seems like sometimes when people so obviously, seemingly purposely, overlook someone else's achievements that they might have a little envy going on themselves. But since this woman doesn't have weight issues, doesn't look like this is the case here.

But, wow, how could she NOT notice and comment on all of the weight that you loss?? This is baffling . Of course we all don't need the acknowledgement of others for validation, but when people don't comment after such a great loss, makes you wonder a bit. When I went from 387lbs to 280lbs several years ago, I didn't encounter a person that I knew, even co-workers that I wasn't acquainted with, post office employees where I picked up mail, etc., who didn't comment on my loss.

Oh well, we can't spend too much time trying to figure other people out. Live and let live .

Sheryl

[Carrie]

I think sometimes people are worried that it isn't polite to mention your weight - even if it's to comment that you've lost. I've had a few people find creative ways to give me compliments without mentioning weight in particular - 'Life sure is agreeing with you', 'You sure look good', that kind of thing, and I notice that if I then do mention that I've lost, they'll say something about the weight loss. If I don't they'll usually just let it go at that. But I did mention it once in response to a 'creative' compliment and the guy responded 'well, I didn't know know if it was polite to mention weight, etc etc'. Personally that's the route I'd take too - just to be safe. After all I used to hate it when people asked me if I was losing weight and I wasn't - so I'd hate to ask someone that and have them say 'No, I just gained 20 pounds you moron!', LOL

Some people don't know either what to say or how to say it, so they don't say anything.

Just my .02
Carrie

[explorthis]

Whoops…….. Lemme backtrack…

She has and did notice numerous times my weight loss. It would be next to impossible not to, as I lost well over 100 pounds (yes I am tooting my horn thank you!)

My point or more of a jealousy needle was that though she has numerous times made public comments, as many others had, about my loss, she pointed out that he had lost some weight – this is what made me notice (or more so jealous!). I was not mad, just the little Devil inside of me got jealous. So what if he lost 1-2 or 50 pounds, I want ME to be noticed STILL. The comments have faded, and mostly I am just Mike, which is fine, as I knew this would happen eventually.

By the way, her comment was genuine and heart felt. She is a very distinguished wonderful lady.

Just wanted to clarify my childness.

-Mike

[Carrie]

LOL, I understand, I do the same thing. Somebody will have complimented me a bunch, but I notice that every time I see them I'm still waiting for ANOTHER compliment. greedy, greedy

[NikkiNix]

Hey Mike,

I bet that lady in your office gives compliments to make people feel better about themselves you did say she was heartfelt about it right so now that you have been so slim for so long and she can oviously see that you have more confidence than before she doesn't feel you need the pick me up because your already a more confident person in a round about way. maybe the guy she was giving a compliment to needed a compliment. I think the more you try to make other people around you happy you tend to be happier yourself. surround yourself with happiness because misery loves company and when you shut misery out there's nothing to be left but happiness.


NikkiNix