The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DutchChoc]

Hi, All,

I always see things a couple of different ways, and this is no exception!! By that, I mean it's a bit pushy of me to decide that one more month of MF shakes is all I'm doing before transition, 'ya know, which translates to whether or not I lose the next 10 pounds or not? On the other hand, I justify that by saying to myself that the remaining 10 pounds is really kinda arbitrary and optional. Is there sanity in that? Or am I really trying to find a way to tell myself that this is good enough? I don't know that I have the answer to whether I'm thinking of mosing along or not, just that I sense a change in my dedication and I'm thinking more about how I "could" eat now, etc. That's a recent development, and I want to fight it. This is day 53.

So, the point is that I'm going to hold myself accountable here for what happens. I don't really want to see myself drift off into some hazy twilight where maybe I decided it was enough and maybe I just fell off my program. Maybe I just lost touch, decided not to post anymore, etc, etc.

Thanks for this forum, too, which helps me/us firm up resolve like a new muscle that hasn't seen much work. The ever-exuberant "yes you cans" has had an obvious effect on me, I can say that. I believe it even when I think I don't, because yes, I believe that I can, and how I want to!!

I feel, oddly, like the person whose problem can't be taken quite as seriously because I haven't lost a hundred pounds and I don't have a hundred more to lose, either. What some people seem to dismiss is that even the modestly overweight can have/can HAVE had a miserable life fighting a degree of fatness that was not acceptable to THEM, however fat it seems to the next person.

Those are my thoughts at the moment. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest!!

[Sylvia]

DC,

The most important thing for you is to decide what weight you will be happy with. Seeing both your weight and your photos, you do not appear to be overweight anymore at all. That doesn't mean you wouldn't be happier with yourself if you lost 5 or 10 more pounds. Only you can decide how much you want to weigh and only you know if you will feel as if you've failed if you stop before getting to your original goal.

I decided a while back that I was doing this until November 1 (unless of course I reached my goal before that). At my current rate, I will be close to, but possibly not at my goal by then. I am starting to ask myself what I will do if I am 5 pounds away. I don't know what the answer will be yet except that I'm no longer sure what my ultimate goal weight is. I might be happy at 155 rather than needing to go to 150 but I kind of need to be there to see. At that point I will frankly be more concerned about toning than I will be about five pounds.

I think if you will be happy with yourself if you do this one more month then that's what you should do.

Sylvia

[DutchChoc]

Thanks, Sylvia, I think I am a raving case of PMS today, and PMS for a 46 y/o brings new meaning to the term.

Most of all, I just don't want to go up in a eating burst like some kind of spontaneous combustion where one minute, I have my eyes set on one thing (the best choice or not), and the next minute, perhaps in a bit of self-imposed despair like today's, I'm wishing I hadn't taken that bite. I REALLY want to remain true to a logical plan, in other words.

Frankly, you're right that you might wonder, as I wonder, as you get closer. It's a bit startling to be nearly looking at the to-be model -- as I remember you said about buying clothes because you know you're fairly close to that size now. I know that for some, being close will be different than it is for me, just as there are people who will be JUST HAPPY and not notice anything to worry about.

I think if I "thought" a month would make it more to my satisfaction, as if I'd followed my "rule" and had not fallen short, maybe it's still a good decision. Here's to us deciding big & little things!!

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Dutch,

I feel the same sense of "when is enough enough?" I know definitely I have to lose MORE as I'm not as close as you to my goal weight. I've decided to take it one day at a time - to be compliant one day at a time - to get there just one day at a time. It's too overwhelming to think ahead when I don't know the day I'll be reaching my goal. I hope I will know it when I get there. I used to ask my Dad when he'd be visiting, and he'd say "You'll see me when I get there." That makes sense to me now.

Losing weight is a burden - some of us have bigger and smaller burdens to carry but for every person it requires the same discipline every moment of the day. Like the old poem, can't remember the title, it states, "There will always be greater and lesser persons than yourself." I keep this in mind if only to just improve myself today. You deserve a lot of praise Dutch. You've done an amazing job, and you're an admirable person here to me.

Your MF pal,
Camille

[DutchChoc]

Camille, after reading what you wrote, what came to mind after looking at your 40# was, "Well, maybe I'll just hobble to the #30 club and see how I feel then". I do feel like I'm having a pity party today, big time. I wish the whole "problem" of how this will be resolved would be taken miraculously away, the whole food problem that looms ahead. Your idea is sound in the sense that we keep going until we get there. Sounds simple enough, and it's been simple enough. I just hope it STAYS simple enough. I know that's really all up to me. Things are pretty good by most standards and I wish I could just appreciate that right now. This is still a "golden age" for me on the failure/success scale, and no reason it should end here or soon.

[explorthis]

So, the point is that I'm going to hold myself accountable here for what happens.

Interestingly enough, weather I admit it or not, I think part of me hanging around and posting is the exact same reason, it’s sort of a “accountability” circle for me. No one would know but me if I gained, or lied for that matter, but the point is the point, we have lied to ourselves most of our lives, thus we are here being “accountable”

So, Dutch I agree, stick to posting. Here you are, at home, comfortable with your “friends” who are all in it for the same reason, not to mention, after you are maintenance for awhile, others need your support in the cans and cannot’s area, and your input would be a valued asset in this area.

As for the goal part, I also did not know what my goal should or would be, as I never saw it before. I think about the time I was just out of diapers, I zoomed right past it. (200 or so – depending on who you ask, or what you read) So I just sort of set a middle goal on my own of the 220’s and this is where I ended. I still don’t feel like I ever reached my 100% satisfaction comfort zone, but everyone I speak to, sees me as a thin guy, including my wife. This is good and bad. Good, cause it makes me feel euphoric to think others see me as thin. Mike thin? Bad, because I did not ever reach that 200 mark, if that is where “the median” said I should have been.

Personally, I lost a lot of weight, well over 100#. Being fat my entire life, I knew nothing else, but fat. This is where I was, this is what and who I was, “Mike the fat guy”… Problem is, I still see myself as the fat guy. When I am dressed to kill, shirt tucked in, slacks, buttoned up, I look great, still even today stopping for a second glance, dang, is that really me? I know I look good, but the brain still cons me into thinking I am the fat guy. In the buff, (remember I am 42) I still see the fat guy.

Most of you know I am not an exerciser, nor am I ever going to be, by choice. No matter how hard you push, or tell me how good it is for me, I just am not, nor do I think I will ever become the exerciser period. I get in my walking, and I work up a sweat on occasion, but track and field is just not for me, so what I see might always be there. I am not a Jack Lalane, nor do I ever think I will see Ah-nold in the mirror, nor do I think I really care. I am “comfortable” with myself for the most part.

I see my Mom, basically in the same boat as Nancy was. Nancy lost a buck+, and my Mom lost 70 something, but they are about the same size. I think my Mom is in the low 130’s from over 200. She is “comfortable” also. Though she exercises more than I, she still has same feelings, of fat. These are feelings that might never go away. HOWEVER – nothing tastes as good feels. Who keeps saying this? Yes, Mother Leopard!! And it is so true. I think now that you are so close to your goal, you will want to do NOTHING to jeopardize this. It’s not easy being thin when the brain wants to go right back to old habits. The brain is a strong muscle, but at least we can semi control it into allowing us to remain thin, only if we give it a chance.

Thoughts…..

-Mike

[elle4nelly]

Dutch?

At 5'6" and 135 lbs, you are anything BUT overweight. You have been determined all along and won the battle of the buldges. And there's nothing wrong with you questioning your last 10lbs?? Question is how do you feel now? And please don't say FAT..cause you're not! You're a resident of Thinville now. If your goal is still 125lbs then maybe you could go for a 5lbs loss on medifast and begin re-feeding on a maintenance plan plus increase exercise. That would help you lose the remaining 5lbs. And by the way, it isn't true that people don't take seriously someone with 3lbs to lose or 300lbs. We're all in the same boat and you know that because as you said ..you used to be up there too. So relax, you've made it home. Now the other hard work begins. By that I mean spending the rest of our lives making sure we never slip our way back to fatville again.
Congrats on all your hard work!!

Nelly

[DutchChoc]

Well, your replies have certainly lit up a somewhat bleak day and I thank you for that. This is a good place to be to aim for honesty, self-expression, and growth... not to mention good ideas, hope, and support.

Nelly, this is a -- can I say it without sounding too negative? -- really lucky streak for me out of about four consecutive years of not holding things together long enough at a time to lose ten pounds. I have no real idea what's gotten into me just to have the pleasure of seeing a surprising number on the scale when I get on it. I know I've not been of the "cheating mind" I usually succumb to, but I don't know why NOT. Maybe it's just been cut and dry enough doing shakes that there was never that margin of error that registered as "warning, warning, FAILURE" in my head. I have that reaction when I eat what I think I shouldn't have.,. and then I usually leap-frogged into eating everything. I do see how you'd think I've been determined all along, but this is only the "best" side of me! Whereas some people might lose the weight once for good, that has never been "my story".

Mike, you're an adequately thin dude who is adjusting very well to a brand new thing, and you're a huge asset here. I'm glad that you stayed around because I like your directness. It's a bit scary to venture to hold oneself accountable here, but we're all friends, right?, and even revealing the slightly detestable about ourselves is still safe enough, relatively. I think today I was near the edge of doing a retreat into my own little world where I was going to slip farther and farther away from this place for some reason. That was one reason for trying harder.

Re goals, there can always be a secondary effort of adjustment, I suppose, meaning that you COULD, if you thought it wise, do this a bit more. We really DO deserve to get for ourselves what we want, or think we want. Another layer of complexity arises when one questions whether it's possible to ever accept what one's done as "wonderful", "great enough", "what I wanted", etc. The mysterious floating target that can seemingly never be hit. That could very possibly SEEM to be about weight to me, but actually be about other things or other ideas/shortcomings I see in myself. And I can relate to seeing the "fat guy", as I can almost always see the person who's perilously on the verge of being chubby all over again, as though a couple of pounds and the illusion of success would disappear.

What's great about you is that you're able to live this new eating existence without tossing in the towel and eating whatever you darn well want to, whatever the outcome. I hear that nothing tastes as good as thin feels, but ME? I usually find the stuff that lies to me and says it's BETTER than how good thin feels.

Your mother must be loving her new life, and so much easier to maintain a 130-pound body, too. I had really set my thoughts on that, as well. Less trouble aging in a lighter body... less chance of not discovering a growth, etc. Glad you were able to do it with her.

Well, I will glide off now with fewer cares/pains, thanks to you and even to myself for making the effort to interact. Take care!!

[sudaoning]

I have been kind of quiet for a while, but here. Just thought I'd throw my 2 cents in.

Dutch, you are about my height. The lowest my adult weight has ever been was about 145 and I felt pretty good there. You photo definitely does not look fat. Maybe what you miss is simply the muscle......and that will come with time and effort if it's what you want. Only you know where you feel good and where you want to be...........or do you? I have a friend who got down to under 100 lbs, because she could never be thin enough......she has become a little more liberal with herself now and is happy at a higher "normal weight". I have set my goal at 140 partly because I feel thats do-able, with the intent to re-evaluate as I get closer. Our "fat" brains will be our biggest challenge.
Whatever you decide Dutch, I hope you will remain here with the rest of us while we lose the "fat" brains, or at least learn to deal with them in our new thin world.

I have to say that I did reach a point at that former "low" weight when I did not feel fat. In fact, I felt no connection whatsoever to the continual diet conversations surrounding us in the world. I lost the need to obsess about food related subjects. When I was hungry I ate. When I was not, food was not on my mind. Very wierd for me. And I am guessing for most of you. I had been reading "non-diet" books......Geneen Roth and others. I think It finally clicked. Then at some point I once more began to allow my eating decisions to once more be based on the wants, needs, desires, expectations, schedules of others. You know, "But I made this just for YOU.", or eating at a particular time or place for someone else regardless of the your own physical need for food, or recreational eating. Easy, way too easy, to slip back into old patterns.

My own weight loss has been almost painfully slow the past few weeks....only about 2 lbs since 8/29. I can hardly wait for scale to surprise me with another little jump downward. But what's the option? Stop MF and skyrocket right back where I came from and beyond? Nope. Not acceptable. I feel so much better already. I will just do it.

Mike, Nancy, I am so thankful to hear from those of you who have done it. And the rest of my new friends here on this journey to Thinsville. Thank you all for being here anytime I need to visit.

[DutchChoc]

Sudaoing, we have lots in common with respect to our histories and the lessons we've learned and sometimes abandonned. In particular, I feel I was at a place in my life where I was detached from food in SUCH a relieving way. I think I was under the influence of Susan Powter (the very lowfat food model) and Geneen Roth. I also know that my fingernails literally peeled then from not eating enough fat, I think.

Then, as you mentioned, I changed as SO came into my life. He's a 155-ish, then 140-ish recreational eater with a hankering for gourmet and exotic foods such as I'd really not experienced before. We started eating Indian food, which was, for me, like finding a whole wonderful and familiar in some sense food I'd never tasted, and I started cooking THAT and many other things to prove that I could read a cookbook, I guess!! And pretty soon I took on an abundance of habits that I wasn't very proud of... and somehow, though I think this is a horrible thing to say, I understood that what he was willing to provide for me was food - and little more than food. I guess I took my rewards where I found them.

Well, after over six years and much heartache, I'm back at the weight where I was then. That's a victory. It's kind of like me taking hold again and doing my own driving. Where I'd driven to "before" was where I wanted to be.

I agree that 145 is a good weight. Years ago when I was just 19 I joined the army and I went in at 150, which was down from the 185 I'd reached in HS. Even that was a good weight. After basic training, I was 145, and that was a good weight. I DO know what you mean, also the part about not thinking anything will be a happy medium in an almost punnish way. That's a bit where I am, feeling like I'm in an unrestored body in spite of having lost weight. It could be the lack of muscles, you're right. My body composition is nothing like it was, but I COULD get some of that back with extended effort.

Yes, sometimes it's slow, but we mustn't stop. I even have a slight gain going on - up a pound - should be Aunt Flo. BUT WHAT IF IT ISN'T, ha!! I'm glad we have this forum and the help of one another here, too, so you please stick around, too, and we will march on another day! More soon.

[sudaoning]

Dutch,
Actually when I said weight had been holding since the 28th that was very generous of me. Weight has been up and down a pound 2 or 3 times. This AM it appears to be down an additional half pound. yeah.

I do think we have sooo much in common Dutch. Much of the eating in my life has been about relationships too, sometimes communicating with food (yelling), fighting back, protecting myself (for example packed on 80 lbs and stayed away from men all together for the past 10 years after finally freeing myself from a long term abusive relationship), comforting and or rewarding myself. Food has sort of been my all purpose best friend. Time to move on. I am nearly 52 and so wish to get past this. At this age I have been feeling more acutely each year the physical consequenses of overindulgence......of not taking care of myself.

Off to work.
Hang in there sister
Donna

[explorthis]

I know the differences between the way Men feel, and the way Women feel are like completely different universes. That saying: Men are from Venus, Women are from Mars (that how it goes?) is so true, and could not be closer to the truth. I say this in a good way. I see things from a “life is easy – can’t we all just play together” set of glasses, and I cannot even begin to fathom the view from the Girls glasses, nor would I want to. Guess for us, this is good. Can you see God sitting up above (for most of you that believe in God) what went through his mind as he was creating the 2 different species? Yikes. So, a professor I am not, and glad I was born a guy, but respectful 1000% of the Woman’s feelings I am. (Thanks Carrie for helping me to understand just a little) Hey I live in a house Full of Women, and I would not change it for a second, though I would like to give each one on occasion a light slam, (another Ms. Doubtfire-ism) as I am sure they would like to return the favor!

Point is, we are all here for the same reason – to lose the weight. Man or Woman, Boy or Girl, FAT SUCKS from every view. All of us have been overweight for sometime, lots of us for our entire lives, some of us for shorter times. Me? Born at probably 200 pounds. Some see it easier – cut/dry, and some see it from a different – life long challenging – fighting – feeling - view. Life is life, and we have to play the hand we were dealt.

Life goes on for ALL of us fat or thin. Once thin, we get to trade in our clouded glasses for a new pair, with a clear view. We get to learn all over again how to see life through them CLEARLY. I am not sure how this transformation over me took place, but it did. Life after fat is easier, and lots more fun. Normal? What is Normal anyway? If this is normal I like it. Food on the other hand, or the power it has over us is NOT normal. We have a problem, and just because we lost the weight, those problems are still here, bright as a 100 watt bulb. We just have to learn to adjust that dimmer switch. No one can do this but you. You can go to counselors and shrinks by the dozen, but it has to be you, and only you that makes this decision. I have semi learned this in my 9 months of maintenance, and maintenance it is. It’s a long road ahead, and I know the road is filled with potholes. I come to this board for some fresh paving, and honesty to help smooth out the bumps. Every day I go through “eating” fights with myself. My brain wants to eat (this very minute as I type this 7:02am) everything in sight. I could down a large pizza, or a large whatever right this very minute, HOWRVER I have learned that these cravings, and wants will subside. 15 minutes later, I am patting myself on the back, for another small battle won. I have learned that I am a little stronger now, and I owe it not only to Medifast, and this board, but myself for wanting to make this life change.

It will work if you only let it!

Thoughts……

-Mike

[Simmshe]

Hi Dutch,

I'm late chiming in here--yesterday was one incredibly long non-stop day for me!

I understand where you are coming from--it sounds like you are/were experiencing a bit of anxiety (which I'm sure, is no doubt exacerbated by Aunt Flo--talk about distorting thoughts and emotions !). I think it's natural to have a fear of "losing it" as we get closer to our goal weight and going back to regular food. I agree with Nelly's suggestion, too, that maybe you just do another month on the full fast and then move into transition . I remember reading where Nancy talked about transitioning and that she continued losing weight during transition.

You definitely wouldn't be copping out if you decided to only continue the full fast for another month. I think that many of us have scheduled amounts of times for doing the full fast and then either transitioning or moving to a modified plan, like Sylvia said. I don't plan to follow the full fast for the duration of my loss--I'm planning to do a full fast for 20-25 weeks and then switch to a modified plan. I decided to do this because I think this time frame gives me ample time to get off a good bulk of my extra weight, and also will allow me to concentrate on my exercise more in the latter stages of my loss--I want to amp up my exercise by about 60% and focus on sculpting and cardiovascular fitness more. Do what you think will be best for you.

At this point in my loss, I think very little about about the "re-feeding" phase, but when I do think about it, I don't panic too much. I've adopted a different mindset that allows me to not freak out. Instead of thinking about all of the food that I've missed eating and the relative smorgasborg of food that I could have at my leisure, I think about enjoying smaller portions, and less frequent indulgences, of food that I enjoy eating. You can still enjoy the exotic Indian foods and other foods that you like eating--but you will have balance. You know that you don't have to go overboard with a food because it isn't forbidden or a "shouldn't-have" food. It's that old diet mentality of forbidden foods and "I'll eat a bunch of this now because I'm going to ban it tomorrow ..." that often sets us up for overeating. Some of your thoughts sound like the "old you" speaking, but you are a different person now about food/eating. You know, I have a feeling that you are going to do better than you expect when you go back to eating regular food--you watch !

Hang in there and start killing those doubting, negative voices--tell them to shove it! You know that your continued success is in your hands--own it .

Sheryl

[Sylvia]

In reading Shryl's post, I had another thought. In the past, I would have viewed MF as a diet implying the changes I was making were of limited duration and that at some point it would end and I'd go back to doing probably whatever I'd been doing in the past.

When I started this journey, I was thinking about it just like that - get the weight off as fast as humanly possible and then figure out how to keep it off. Somewhere along the road my mindset changed.

I have decided to do something more like Nancy does - make MF a part of my eating plan on an ongoing basis even after I'm done losing the weight I want to lose. After getting my cholesterol reading back, I am totally sold on the health benefits of soy protein and MF is an easy way to continue making it a part of my diet.

Beyond that, I think incorporating some of the products going forward will help me keep in mind that this is a lifelong thing. My previous model of either on a diet or (WAY) off a diet does not work. I need to eat good foods sensibly from here forward. That doesn't mean no indulgences but it also doesn't mean indulgences every day for every known occasion.

I was really worried about moving into transition and beyond before deciding to keep on using MF throughout. I'll admit to still having some trepidation because, let's face it, I have never in my life successfully maintained a normal and healthy eating plan for any significant time, but I remain confident that this time will be different.

Looking forward to getting there and to sharing my experiences with all of you.

[DutchChoc]

The latest news of the day, this very lovely Friday, is that all is well aboard Starship "WhereDoWeGoNow?" and I'm happily engaged in continuing along.

One bright note is that I have developed an interest in sewing a few new things for this "better body". I've made it into two size 10 patterns of late, whereas the 14s were small in places before. Kept sewing things too small because I either couldn't figure it out before (what size) or didn't want to make them large enough. So, I'm looking forward to doing some stuff that will allow me to appreciate clothing my work-in-progress.

I like your thoughts a lot; they're all good.

Sylvia, I took the point of view that you did about MF at first, I guess. I thought I was going to lose 30 pounds in 30 days and after I did that, I'd have some extra time before the weight built itself up again. In other words, we bail the boat out and then we let a little water at a time back in!! I think you're onto something about using some MF products. It's certainly helped your cholesterol. Of course the penny-pincher in me would like to be off the MF payline, but another benefit of keeping on buying some might be to maintain the connection to the whole "sense" of the MF lifestyle. I might remember that I need some extra help (mostly from myself) to keep the weight off. I'm glad you're feeling confident -- it's coming up, you know, that stage for you. I first kind of committed to staying on until November when I though you'd be doing that, frankly!! Now I'm not sure I have both the guts and the need to stay that long, if everything goes OK, i.e. no "re-dos".

Simmshe, I know it's unfounded, but I still kinda freak when I think I've been doing this almost/just 7 weeks so far. I admire you for wanting to do it so long and so much longer. I'm also exercising 3-4 times per week now, for about 30 min each time. Every day I do that, I can count on being extra hungry, and using 6-7 shakes. In the past, I would've been treating myself like an athlete and eating like two athletes, so I'm pleased just to be sticking to the rules! I hope you're right about it being manageable later. I DO want to own the success. I have a habit of not stepping up to responsibilities/rewards of my own welfare.

Yup, Mike, but men are from Mars and women are from Venus, lol. We do absolutely have to play with the hand we're dealt, only sticking some MF up our sleeves helps out a lot! I'm looking forward to seeing things more clearly - I like that analogy. Sometimes I literally live like I have blinders on -- blinders that obscure how I feel, blinders that obscure what I think, blinders that obscure what I allow/make myself deal with. Food, of course, was a reliable blinder. Fat, also. I'm grateful for the "blinder" that MF has been, too, for blinding the so-called hunger and response mechanism to eat for resolution. Once that's partially removed, it seems likely, from my experience, that the prompts to eat are going to be redoubled and I WILL have to figure out what to do about that. I will have to let many wantings subside.

Sudaoing, sounds like you are coming alive again, so DO NOT turn back! There's a lot to look forward to and "find" in life. Time waits for no man, as they say. It's now or never, AND, at 46, I can no longer expect to be a 20 or 30 year old when I'm thin and look in the mirror - DARN!! I hear you about food and the relationships - you know I do. I've even used food/fat as a weapon that worked against me just to prove the inane point that "I could get fat" when SO met me and insisted that I couldn't. Not only that, but when I thought he didn't appreciate it, that is, ME, when I was thin and in shape, I decided he didn't "deserve" to have me in shape, either, so I stopped trying nearly dead in my tracks. HOW STUPID!!

Anyway, whew, another week of work over, and some time to reflect. We're doing well, and going the right way. Take care.