The first 4+ months, I was stoically faithful to the 5&1 Plan. As a result, I felt better than I ever remember feeling in my life (no kidding, honest!), and I'd lost 60 lbs.
But on a fateful vacation in late July/early August, I strode defiantly away from the program.
Getting back on track resulted in 14 days in a row of migraines attacks (which also meant some high-powered medications every day for two straight weeks), a lessening of committment to my personal goal, and a whole bouquet of justifications for "tasting" stuff.
As a result, even though I've managed to lose just short of 30 more pounds (I hope to submit for admission to the 90# club on Sunday, but I've been saying that for a month), I feel like I've struggled. This used to be easy; it's been hard.
Here's the thing -- None of the slowed/fluctuating progress can be attributed to a plateau; I'm acutely aware that I've done this to myself.
And here's how: I've become a taster. Piece of chocolate here, a tablespoon (or more like 2) of mashed potatoes there, leave the croutons on please, oh just a small taste, thanks.
It adds up! Next thing I know, I'm out of the fat burning stage, not losing (or -- more frustrating -- gaining!), hungry, grumpy and craving. Not enough to feel REALLY bad about anything, just enough to get discouraged. I mean, I've got a perfectly good song waiting for an ACTUAL plateau and here I've gone and created my own!
Instruction? I've got it! How much clearer can the Quick Start Guide be? And, heck, what about all the stuff to read here on line.
Support? Well, in addition to all of you wonderful folks, there's my dh, my ds, my mom, her dh, my best friend, her dh, 2 of my health care providers, and 6 friends from work (there are more ... but you get the idea).
Accountability? Ditto the above.
It all comes down to one simple question that folks like Dr. Anderson keep asking, "What do you want?" In other words, my motivation.
And here's what I've learned about motivation and change:
External forces work in the short term, but internal loci are enduring.
A desire to get away from a certain situation (uncomfortable, unhealthy, less attractive) will lead to dimished drive once there's a certain amount of relief
A desire to move toward something is a more sustainable driving force
I've got to have concrete, measureable goals backed up by a clear, executable plan.
If I want it badly enough, nothing will stop me.
Bdg had a great suggestion on the Nurse's call just before Thanksgiving -- remember your vision; keep it always before you; write it down, put it in your pocket and take it with you. It sure simplifies that whole "What do you want?" question when I've got that note in one hand and a piece of fudge in the other. I know that I don't want to be another stymied taster; I want to be the diva my husband didn't know he married.
--Diana
As a result I didn't post my progress on rollcall. (Running away from accountability is not a good sign!)
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