The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[elle4nelly]

It is often common for people who struggle to feel alone in their struggle. There are a few of our beloved Forum friends right now, who are wrestling with Medifast. They go forward and collapse and get back on again. For many it is because of the “FEAR”. Some of us have been overweight for a while, and some have never been thin. Being fat is what we have been for a while or a lifetime. It has been part of our identity for some times prior to this journey on Medifast. So losing weight as much as we desire it can bring about all sorts of fears. I would like to help PAM and all those who have fears by encouraging anyone to post here any fear and or fears they had about losing weight or currently still have. And those who have overcome the fear factor can share with us how they did it. It will encourage everyone to know that you are never alone in how or what you feel. I posted my FEARS on the thread called “JUST ME”. So I’ll let all of you my friends to come here and share those fears if you want to.

[elle4nelly]

I see a shyness from this subject. Mike?? I am sure during your Bigger days you had fears about dieting. Perhaps you can share them with us and tell us how you overcame them.


Nelly

[RavenKat]

Hey, didn't mean to ignore your post! Just a "heavy" subject - ignore the bad play on words.

I don't know if I am afraid to be skinnier. I was afraid that none of the miraculous stuff that I imagined would happen once I reached a certain weight would actually happen. I've been fantasizing that the skinny me would be automatically HAPPY SEXY OUTGOING ATHLETIC - you name it. I am lots thinner already and I see myself feeling more upbeat but I certainly don't see the "Pam Anderson" I was expecting. (or whomever the sexiest woman alive is)

That sounds worse than I mean it to.

I was disappointed initially that I didn't wake up one morning as an exercise guru that pranced around the house in lingerie - but now I'm beginning to understand that those are choices. Those behaviors aren't connected to my scale but in how I feel about myself. I kinda like that discovery, actually. It coincides with the "will power is really a choice" thang that I am digesting now-a-days, too. Very empowering.

Strangely, that discovery means that I could have been sexy, athletic and happy at 250, too. Just not healthy. Or all that great looking in lingerie.

Kat

[Guest]

Hi!

I have been lurking around this forum. And haven't made up my mind about Medifast yet. Obviously I am afraid. I am scared that this isn't going to work. I am scared that I will fail. But most of all. I am scared that this diet will be stringent and that I will miss food. I've read a lot on this forum and I admire people who are doing this. I hope to overcome my fears so I can lose weight.

[smartiegrrl]

I suppose my biggest fear is that MF isn't really teaching me to be a better "eater". Its really working for me, mainly because it requires no thinking on my part. However, being the procrastinator I am, I suppose I'll just deal with that issue when the time comes. I have noticed the few times I have "cheated" that I fill up right away. That gives me hope.

[hawaiiwhatnot]

Well I guess my biggest fear is failure. If I can't do this Medifast plan, I don't think there's anything else out there for me. This is why I'm being so good and haven't cheated I guess. I don't want to be overweight anymore. I feel like this is my "last chance for gas" like the old highway signs warned.

Second is the fear of failure in maintaining the weight loss once I've reached my goal -- that I will revert back to the "who cares" attitude and just eat to feel good again - the emotional eating merry go round. Life can be a real rollercoaster ride emotionally when tragedy strikes or someone very close passes away. I have to learn to ride out the storms without self-medicating with food.

Camille

[elle4nelly]

Hi all!

I wasn't afraid of dieting or even failing a diet. I'm the type that will keep trying to go through a wall. I'm hard headed to a fault! But when I got on a diet and started losing weight...I became more shy and more vulnerable. I have a fear that being small will make me stand out less...I'd get lost in the crowd. Somehow being big makes me stand out. Keeps people at bay... the more I lose the more people gravitate toward me and the more uncomfortable I become because I have been used to isolating myself and adopted a bully attitude at work to ward off co-workers. With me it's all about the fear of my future relationship with people. Will they take me seriously when I'm small? You don't look like a bully when you're 130lbs ...they might just think I am a capital B**** . I know this sound crazy... I mean ..when I'm bigger..I can stand on my ground better and fend off unwanted company with just a mean look that comes from a 251lbs person...they knew better than to insist. But I remember when I was smaller...I couldn't fend off unwanted company or people I didn't like..they perceived it all as PMS...B****Y mood!They often didn't take me seriously.
No..I'm not afraid of dieting....I'm afraid of the changes a smaller me might bring about....
But right now..I am in such a Militant Mode....I don't want to stop and think about it. I'll see how things go when I'm skinny!! Because regardless of any fears I have,I refuseto " Be Fat for the rest of my life".


Nelly

[RareBear]

One of my issues regarding fear of losing weight stemmed from some very negative experiences in my thin days. To put it bluntly: rape. Because I didn’t deal with the experience or myself, I think I insulated me with excess weight. People didn’t notice me, much less find me attractive, with 80 odd pounds too many and that was comforting, though painful. So I guess I was putting myself in a sort of prison. I did a lot of thinking over the past couple of years on my reactions and actions, and decided I was allowing myself to still be a victim by just hanging on to the weight. That led me eventually to the thought that I was just not going to be a victim any longer, not in any sense whatsoever. I had to do tons of internal dialoging to heal and move on. At this point, I’ve lost 54 lbs and I’m noticing I’m not so invisible any longer, which frankly, makes me a little uncomfortable, but I’m determined to be a rise above past issues and fears and be everything I can be and more, with the exception of the excess weight.
One little piece of advice that helped was:
Whenever you feel fear, just remember what it stands for:
False
Experiences
Appearing
Real
Be all you can be!
RB

[LongWay2go]

Wow, there's so much I could say that I don't know where to begin! First, elle4nelly, thank you for posting this thread. I think it's important that we all face our fears, and yes, I do think that some of us fear getting skinny or being "normal".

I realized a couple of years ago that deep in my heart I was afraid I would starve to death. That, I believe, was what made me into a compulsive eater. I think it was also a comfort to me - to eat.

For years I joked about being one of the last survivors of a world-wide famine. I guess that was one way of justifying my increasing weight. The funny thing is, I was not a fat teen. I weighed 169 when I graduated HS. I don't know what messed up my brain but whatever it was, it got worse and worse. Eventually I hit my high of 523 pounds. I was 41 or 42 at the time and my doctor told me over and over I would not live to see 50. Even THAT did not make me wake up and lose weight!

Nothing worked until I had my "episode" early this year, which I won't waste the space to talk about again, but near-death is a pretty darned good wake-up call!

Now I'm on the road to thinsville. Maybe I won't make it, but maybe I will. One thing is for dead certain, I won't give up trying!

~Spidey

[Nancy]

I was afraid of failing again.

Afraid of not reaching my goal weight.

Afraid of not being able to maintain my weight once I reached a normal healthy weight.

Afraid of people treating me differently - how would I deal with them/it?

[fedup]

I must have missed this post the first time around.

I don't know that I was/am "afraid" of anything specific. For me it was more of an "escape" or a coping thing. When life got tough, I ate. When I felt bad, I ate to feel better. I always did this. I've never really ate huge portions, I just ate all the time. "Grazed" all day and especially night. I believe MF is helping me simply because I'm not allowed to do that anymore... no more using food as a bandaid 'cause I can't. (Unless I break my rules which I WON"T!!!) I knew something was happening inside because 1 week into the MF program I had a big argument with the SO and the first thing I said to myself afterwards was "screw this, I'm eating, why am I doing this..." Whoa... What? I mean that was clear evidence that the food has always been my crutch. So I guess if I'm to say there's something I fear, maybe it's being without my crutch. Having to do it myself, on my own two feet. To put feelings in the proper perspective instead of eating to feel better.

--And on a side note, RareBare... I just read your post... when people go through something so traumatic as you did, I think it's only natural to survive any way you can. You are one strong Lady, and never forget that. Don't beat yourself up for surving... Now your at the point where your ready to go beyond that, and take control of your life back. You deserve major credit for that. You're a beautiful and strong person, never forget it.