The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[elle4nelly]

I went out this weekend to shop for clothing. I was so happy to go out and do a " girl" thing. I've lost weight, I feel good despite " the visit". So armed with my skinny best friend I hit the stores.

There was clothing fashion galore ...color ..more color...and enough style to make me dizzy. So I ooooh and aaahh at this and that. Picked up a whole bunch of stuff to try on. Stepped in that 3 way mirrors room and began trying on stuff after stuff.

With each item, I felt a sort of trauma come over me....looking at my large self from every angle in these fashion items was horrific. Down right depressing!!!!!!!!!! I couldn't believe it was me. Needless to say..I hated everything on me and couldn't wait to run out of there in tears. I am sooo tired of dressing in " Omar the tent " style of clothing, purchased in the " Big Girl" type of store. I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! I've come a long way though. I'll give myself credit for not running out of there and straight to a hamburger complete with a margarita, and then feeling sorry for my extra large arse over 6 bags of gummie bears and Pringles Potato Chips.
Yes, I felt a tad depressed. A bit traumatised at the thought that I wasn't born at 224lbs and so how I let myself get here. Anyway...the Depression and Trauma yielded to OUTRAGE.
The kind that make you vow that " darn it! This weight is leaving by all mean necessary". In a few months I want to " Love " shopping..not walk away from it crying and feeling abused by the sight of me self in those 3 way mirrors.
After the shopping episode from H-E-double Hockey stix...we went back to my best friend place where she modeled her shopping find. She looked perfect in everything she tried on. And I kept thinking soon..that will be me....I will make it be me!!!

Is there anyone else who feels down after shopping for clothes? Feel free to comment any way you wish....

Nelly

[RavenKat]

Nelly,

I completely understand!! I absolutely HATED shopping for clothes until Medifast. I wouldn't do it and had clothes for entirely too long just to keep from having to buy more. I stretched those 18's even though 20 was where I should have been. Those mirrors are mortifying! And flourenscent lights?! Yikes!

I'm not done losing weight but I look MUCH better - better than I have in years. I still don't think I could shop with a skinny person. I am feeling pretty darn good about myself but I think I may still be suseptible to comparing myself to someone else - unfavorably. BUT since my mood is so much better and my self-esteem is at an all time high, I might actualy be okay.

You handled it well, though. Like you said, you could have eaten your emotions away but you didn't! Yay you!!!! Soon you'll be happy with the Nelly in the mirror and shopping will be a dangerous sport instead of a drudgery.

Kat

[Carrie]

Hi Nelly,

Yes, I can totally relate to your experience. When I initially lost the 40 pounds that I have, I loved putting my clothes on and seeing how much looser they were. I went shopping and was delighted to be able to buy size 18's.

Now fast forward 2 1/2 months down the road - I was off the program, finally got back on it, then got sick last week, and here I am - still fighting to get past this SAME weight range I've been at for all this time. My delight in my weight loss has evaporated. I look in the mirror and am disheartened by what I see. I have one set of clothes that are too baggy and my next sizes down are a tad too snug - so dressing is more of a stressor than anything else - I don't really have anything that fits and don't want to waste money on interim clothes buying.

Then I get completely fed up and go to the store to try and find something and that just makes things worse, because nothing really fits right, and doesn't look good anyway. I know right now, getting dressed to go somewhere is a big strain because I can't find something that fits right. And I really feel that I have to have long enough sleeves to cover the awful roll of flab I have hanging over my elbow - and that's harder than it would seem in today's world of short short sleeve t-shirts.

For me the frustration is the result of not making progress for all this time. I've been on again off again, when if I would have just stuck with it I would be out of the 18's and into something smaller already. I've had a lot of reasons why I've eaten instead of being true to the program. I was back on track and going strong - then last week I got sick and couldn't keep the MF products down. I was taking medicine that I had to eat with, so I 'HAD' to eat some regular food. I was *supposed* to get right back to my MF yesterday and by the evening had talked myself into just eating whatever I wanted.

I don't know what I could've done differently with respect to being sick, but I know that I have got to simply let nothing, NOTHING derail me from the program. It's too hard to get back on, and it takes weeks to recover from the fall. I have got to have a 100% committment to the plan, so much so that hurricanes, work stress, the flu, NOTHING absolutely nothing is reason enough for me to deviate from the plan.

I can also relate to your anger. I'm mad at myself, mad at food, mad at this merry-go-round I'm on. If I have to tattoo 'It's not worth it' backwards on my forehead (eating, that is) so I can see it in the mirror every day I will. I cannot tell you how disheartening it is to know that I had it licked - I was back on track and my scale was dipping to new lows and then the craziness of evacuating for Ivan and getting sick and here I am right back where I was 3 weeks ago. It makes me want to cry, but it also makes me angry. Angry and determined to win this battle.

I wish I had the answer to making this not so traumatic - but all I can see for myself is to keep trying and refuse to quit. Which seems to be the same conclusion you have come to. If we keep working towards the goal we will get there.

Carrie

[Sylvia]

Nelly,

I know exactly how you feel. I was there before (without the skinny friend - that would have put me right over the edge). When I had lost about 30 pounds and was feeling pretty good about myself, I decided I needed to go shopping since everything was getting too big for me. I also needed a bathing suit - horror of horrors. So let's just say that the fitting room mirrors convinced me that I still had a LONG way to go!

I tried to put a positive spin on it - after all, I was wearing sizes that I hadn't worn in a long time. Instead of being depressed, like you, I used the experience as additional motivation and reinforcement that I still had a long way to go to achieve my ultimate goal.

Looking back, I think this was a positive experience. I think after you've lost a good chunk of weight, it's easy to get complacent and convince yourself that you look good and can really take a break from it. Trying on clothes and really looking in the mirror made it impossible for me to convince myself of this lie.

Now, 25 pounds later, I really am looking good in most things I try on and shopping has become fun again. I still expect to wear a bigger size than I actually do, and it feels so good to ask the salespeople to bring it in a smaller size (usually a 10 at this point). While I still have about 20 more pounds to lose, I'm now at a point where those last pounds are going to get me to my ultimate goal - not in terms of pounds but in terms of things I will be able to do - like tucking my shirts/blouses in, looking decent in a bathing suit, etc.

The point of all of this is that IT IS SO WORTH IT! Use this experience as motivation and stick to your guns.

Sylvia

[explorthis]

Wal-Mart, the fat boy’s store of choice! Walk in; though I pay $2.00 more for each article of clothing in the “larger” size, it was worth it. They have everything in 3X, 4X and even 5X Nothing mad me madder than to walk into a big and tall, and see a standard size button up, @ $30.00, or pair of Dockers that were my size @ $50.00 when the exact same article in a Mervyn’s or Kohl’s were literally ½ the price. Capitalism? Sure is. A couple of thoughts go through my mind – most of you know I am buyer for a living, and this nail in my coffin has its pluses and minuses. I scrutinize everything down to the last penny. Why, since I was already fat, did I not think if the Monopoly on + sizes, and go out and market some sort of “Guido-wear”? Hindsight. I knew I needed some nice business casual wear for work, so why do I allow it to tear me up inside that I must pay $50.00 for a $25.00 pair of pants? It’s not the clothing manufacturer’s fault I am overweight, lest we forget, stores, including big and tall are there to make money. Far be it for me to snivel at the fact they are capitalizing on my problem. Other side of this coin, no one will ever get a penny out of me that is not well deserved. I have even been paid to go car shopping with friends, to do all the negotiating for them!!

Anyhow, I did not like clothes shopping, nor do I know, just not my thing. Luckily I have a wife that understands, and just does it for me, even today. I will come home from work, and on the bed was a new shirt, or pair of pants, and only 1 in 50 items would I not like. Thank God for Women, where would we dorky men be without you?

All of a sudden I lose the weight, and I walk into these regular stores, never again do I have to go into a big and tall, and EVERYTHING in the store has Mikes name on it. I wear a regular size. Actually so it appears, most of the sizes in the store are either large or XLG. I wear both, and the pants sizes for Mike are so plentiful. WOW, clothes that fit, and a non ending selection. No reason not to buy everything in sight, showing off this miraculous thinner guy. I HATE CLOTHES SHOPPING. I am not sure if it’s a set in stone trauma that occurred over the years, but I begrudgingly go into a Mervyns, or Kohl’s (I think my wife owns stock in these 2, especially when I see a “Platinum” Mervyn’s card – why does this exist?) and know I could use a shirt or 2, and a pair of pants or 3, and I freeze up. The let’s go attitude immediately sets in. I know for a fact, no one is looking at me anymore, I am just a normal sized guy shopping for normal sized clothing, why is this such a chore? I have walked in shopping with the family a dozen times, and walked out empty handed. I still come home, and a new shirt or pants is waiting for me.

May be a life of trauma set in. Again, where would we (or at least me) be without a wife to take care of me – thank God for her, I might end up in a regular size rain coat at work, with nothing on underneath but the skivvies!!!

I guess I never have to worry, as long as my Wife continues to baby sit my wardrobe.

Yikes.

-Mike

[RavenKat]

LOL Mike! I buy my husband's clothes, too. He buys some of his own novelty T-shirts (bands, philosophy, etc) but I get the pants, the shirts, the underwear, the socks.....do guys wear anything else? Shorts. I even bought his wedding suit. Oh - he picked out his renaissance outfit at the faire one year.

Kat

[explorthis]

He buys some of his own novelty T-shirts

Sounds like me exactly. I am co-owner of a novelty type of tee-shirt Company. (Where is the irony, when I can’t shop, but can design and create?) I make all my own novelty shirts, as well as my kids. I have about 4 pair of slacks, 2 pair of jeans, and 40 pair of shorts. In California, no matter the time of year, it’s a tee, shorts, and sandals 24/7

Hey, I even own a Medifast Polo shirt - that was of course bought for me!

[elle4nelly]

Kat, Sylvia, Carrie and Mike:

Thanks for your replies. Shopping for clothes is traumatic but I guess it can also be a reminder of how far you've come and how much further you need to go. Carrie darling, I fell off that wagon several times and couldn't seem to get back on until I got the ANGER. That " I can't believe that you waisted sooo much time and by now you should be at goal". Yeah...that Anger hasn't left me yet and keeps me going. I am sooo fed up about looking at what I see in the mirror. I want to be "Normal" in a Mike's way. I want to be able to do what young women do for &^%#^#& sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I should be able to walk into Anne Taylor, Philosophie, BCBG and grab an outfit, try it on and it simply look great! It's not about spending money on pricey clothes, but rather knowing that You can just put on an outfit and it looks good. I feel as though right now, nothing fits! I want fashionable styles but they don't make them my size so I found myself wearing " whatever was Okay but who cares, this isn't even my style but what can I do..that's all they design for Big Girl".
Enough of this torture!!
I want to know that I can wear a flirty skirt and top on a night out with the chicks and no rolls are overflowing. I can put on a simple tee with fashionable 'boot cut mid rise denim" and finish the whole thing with a nice pair of heels and bag and know I look good.
Am I asking for too much? I can't believe I'm letting my 30's pass by in this Mass of dough I call a body!! NO MORE! Carrie, these are our best years....let the Anger fuel you baby doll.... If you just get mad and fed up enough you'll get back on and lose it for good.
Sylvia, you've come a long way and I am soooooo happy that you're near goal. I'd give anything to be a size 10 RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! At a size 10 clothing DO look good, it's more a matter of how we feel at such a size. Kat? I know what you mean about shopping with a "Waif". everything she grabs looks great! For her it's just a matter of taste and color. And watching her try on all that stuff...just reminded me of where I want to be.

Mike? When I grow up, I want to be NORMAL just like you!

Nelly

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

Bleh I hate clothes shopping and have ever since it dawned on me that I was FAT! LOL
I mainly buy online or from catalogs anymore, though I don't own a LOT of clothing because I work from home and don't have to worry about dating hubby--LOL

I used to be a great shopper--bargains seemed to throw themselves in my path and i learned how to dress well for almost nothing. I was proud of those abilities, and can't wait to get back to that mentality--at this point, shopping is only about "what fits" and "what's comfortable"....but not for long, my shakin' friends!

I'll be dancing in front of that three-way mirror in a matter of months, so if you see a thin woman laughing like a maniac being thrown out of JC Penney's, come over and say hi! LOL

Susanna