The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[cindyjones008]

On day four I was doing great. I was taking the shakes at 3 hour inervals. I walked into the break room at work and there was two boxes of donuts and one box of cookies. It didn't even phase me! That felt so good! I have made progress!

By the time I came home from work, I had a long day, and I was about 3 hours behind in my shake. My sister arrived with pizza. I said screw it, I am going to eat some pizza--and I did. I only ate about a third of what I normally would have eaten. After I was done eating, I told myself since I already went off plan, I might as well take advantage of eat and go and get ice cream. Well, I ended up not getting the ice cream, and that felt good. But I sure was craving it. And while I was craving it I thought to myself that since I am off plan, I might as well have fun tomorrow and eat whatever I want and go back on plan the following day. What kind of rational is that? Take advantage of going off plan, how does that make sense? Well, I am happy to say that not only did I not get ice cream that day, the following day I stayed on plan. Today is day 6 on MF (minus the pizza) and I feel good. I am in acceptance that my life for the next few months is going to be me losing weight on MF! I am grateful that I am in weight loss mode and I am grateful that I will be able to do this until I get to the appropriate weight/size and once I reach goal, I will maintian. I will get there! Right now I am going to live in the moment and in this moment, I am kicking but staying on MF! I feel good in this moment.

For an added boost, I received accupuncture today. They asked to weigh me. Right now I do not want to know how much I weigh because in the past I have obsessed on the scale and on numbers. I did let them weigh me, but I looked the other way and they are not allowed to tell me my weight. Once I have a significant weight loss, it will be interesting to see how much I weigh at start. I can share that I am 5'3" and a size 18.

[cindyjones008]

10 days and I feel good. I have not been perfect. In fact I went off program Saturday, and then bargained with myself by saying that it is okay if I stay off program all day long but starting the following day I will remain 100% committed to the program. It is interesting how I bargain with myself to try to justify eating off program.

The good news is that I did go back on program. This is progress. In the past when I was trying MF, and if I went off program, it would last for at least two days. And when I did go off program, I did not eat nearly as much as I used to. Living in the moment, I feel compeltey content and satisfied on MF. Getting tired of the chocolate shakes, so I am going to switch to strawberry.

Today I saw a picture of myself from a few weeks ago. It was the first time in a long time I have seen myself in a pic. I was taken back at how big I am. I felt so ashamed, and I felt so ugly and awful. I felt so bad I almost wanted to go home and eat off program to comfort myself and to say oh well, I am so big, who cares, why does it matter. But I didn't. And I am telling myself that I am okay exactly where I am at no matter what my size or appearance. I am thinking of myself with a positive light. Being in acceptance of how I am right now is helpful. Not being in acceptance means that I feel shame and disgust towards myself, and once those unhealthy feelings appear, they are accompanied by more unhealthy thoughts such as I might as well eat off program because I am so big anyway and that it is so far for me to go to look thin that it feels near impossible.

Right now I want to nurish my body and be kind to myself, so no negative self talk--only positive thoughts about me!!!

[Karli]

Hi Cindy,

Just read your latest post and it sounds like you are doing well ! Yes, I do 'get' the idea of accepting yourself exactly as you are, right now. And, I very much get the whole feeling huge and wanting to comfort yourself with food thing (what an ironical way to live, eh ?!!). So glad you are staying the course ! You can do it . Cheers !

[cindyjones008]

Went off program for past few weeks. Disappointed. Forgiving myself and moving on.

[Stihl]

Its okay to go off - just get yourself back on track and keep the long term goal in mind. Good luck!!

[cindyjones008]

Thanks Stihl.

I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to MF perfect. I am doing it to the best of my ability. I am going to start the shakes tomorrow. I know I will be successful tomorrow.

[cindyjones008]

Been completely off program--heck, not sure of last time I was technically considered on program.

Years ago when I lost a lot of weight (over 60 pounds) on MF, I did it through my doctor's office. My doc put me on 100% shakes.

Kept weight off until pregnancy, and became single mom during my pregnance, and been putting on weight ever since for several years now.

I have made several attempts to restart, doing the 100% shakes, however, I have not been able to stay on program.

After careful contemplation, I have decided to do shakes and meals. Once I made this decision, I found myself confused as to how the program works when one does MF meals. I have had the bars before, and liked them. But I am not sure 6 bars a day is allowed. I don't know how many shakes I have to have versus how many meals, bars, oatmeal, etc. I am NOT going to do 5/1 of lean and green. It is going to have to be 6 MF. I know myself well enough to know that not only do I need the structure of the meals, but that I don't have the availability to prepare one lean and green meal a day. Even if I prepared night before, I still won't be able to maintain it. My job is too demanding and there are times that I get off work at 5pm and other times I get off work at 10pm for nights in a row. I don't know ahead of time when I will have to work late. but I do know that if I weren't to get home until 10pm, there is no way I am preparing a lean and green for the following day. Well, I have more reasons why the lean and green won't work for me right now, but I won't get into it further. However, doing the MF meals this time around is going to be new to me, so I am very hopeful.

I was going to order some meals/packages on line for 4 weeks and become VIP, however, given that I don't know which MF foods I will like, I don't want to make that big of a commitment until I have sampled them. Therefore I am ordering small amounts of a few different things so I could learn what I like.

I am looking forward to doing MF with the MF meals this time, and not just the shakes. Oh, and I am also looking forward to my heartburn to go away--I am sure most people know that a week or so on MF, that icky heartburn at the end of the night goes bye-bye.

I do feel a bit of relief knowing I will be starting soon. I will be anxiously awaiting for the mail carrier.

[Tawanda]

Hi Cindy! If you do not have a health coach to help you right now with your questions about the program, I'd send a PM to Unca Tim or Nancy, to ask them if they can help you or can set you up with someone who can be your health coach/advisor to answer your questions and encourage you. I've appreciated having someone knowledgeable to go to when I have questions.

Welcome back. I'm sorry to read that you've been struggling.