by Checkie » August 27th, 2006, 4:27 pm
This is diet number 1,984 or so it seems.
It wasn't until last year when I started dieting big time that I've created a full blown obsession with food (I've always been a little heavy, size 14's then I had 2 back surgeries several years ago and gained 70 lbs).
I never had a problem with food, no more than any other typical American, I like fast food, biggie sized of course but now after trying so many diets, I suppose the restrictions of a diet has made me a foodaholic.
I went to a therapist about it, she put me on welbutrin, that was at least 5-6 months ago and I cannot tell a difference in my desire and ability to consume food - these days I order 2 meals not one - I will eat until I hurt, then I am ashamed and I swear to never do it again only to find myself the very next evening ordering 2 double cheeseburgers, two large fries just for myself and vowing to start a new diet tomorrow...
I am literally sick of food but can't go a day without overeating - its a very odd situation and I am growing bigger and bigger by the day.
I don't know if a full fast will even work for me, how could it as much as I eat and as big of a problem that this has become?
I'm thinking that perhaps if I order these products, completely clear out all of my cabinets, leave ZERO food behind, not even the good-for-you stuff, that maybe, just maybe I can do this, especially with the help of this forum with others on the same plan.
I'm afraid and I am sad, I've just created a pretty successful business (successful in that its paying the bills - to me that's good enough!) I am a friendly and out going person, I have control of just about everything else in my life that I can have control over other than eating - I am single, in my early 40's (42) but I look much younger... most people guess me in my early 30's if not late 20's, I have an attractive face, I love trendy clothes (can't wear them of course) and I have a nice home... almost everything I need other than control over food!
I want to get out there and enjoy life... maybe date a little although that is not my ultimate goal, I've been divorced for a few years now and just don't have the desire to date (could be the fat?), I would love to meet new people and have fun though but the fat stops me, so what do I do? I eat more - which only makes me fatter and keeps me from doing all the stuff I want to do - its insanity!
So perhaps this is it, its working for so many others... then again any diet works if you work it, my problem is I don't work it... hopefully I can find the strength to do so through this program and this forum.
Here we go...
DAY 1 • AUGUST 31, 2006
START WEIGHT: 230.4
MEASUREMENTS:
NECK: 14.5
BUST: 44.5
WAIST: 43
HIPS: 49
THIGHS: 27.5
CALF: 18
Last edited by
Checkie on August 31st, 2006, 9:31 am, edited 1 time in total.