The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[carolannjeanette]

crud--i blew it again! i feel like such a loser! I restarted last sunday, was perfect the first 3 days, but blew it on the 4th day. I had a lunch meeting at work and they served pizza. i was stuck in the meeting for 2 hours, everybody was eating. it was too hard for me to sit there for two hours and watch everybody eat, and have the food being passed all around me. i finally caved and ate pizza...and from there i just dug myself deeper and deeper. next i started eating chocolate, i told myself, since i already blew it, i might as well enjoy it! and now 3 days later, i am still off of medifast and feeling stuck, like i will never get back on track. i feel like i can't do it! i really thought this last time around i would make it. now i feel so disappointed in myself!

i want to start again, but feel scared of failure, scared i won't be successful, and scared i just won't be able to do it. i really doubt myself right now.

this sucks feeling this way.

i also noticed that i become weak when i am stressed. i eat to deal with my stress. work has been real busy, and once i already blew it, i would graze on chocolate all day. i work for cps, which i love the happy side of helping the children and seeing their lives improve.

i am asking myself, can i do this again? and if i can, how do i do it?

i don't know how to re-start again!!!

[Lizabette]

CAJ, baby girl. Your sticker says you've lost over 20 pounds...
That is great!
So you fell off the wagon? Nothing says you've got to stay down.
You can wipe the slate clean and start all over again re-focusing on your goals---even small goals (5#) are events to celebrate---will soon add up to your big one.
You're not alone. Come here for help and never, ever give up on yourself!
You are too important!

[carolannjeanette]

thanks liz, it feels better knowing that i am not alone! it is nice to have this support.

i am struggling...i feel so fat! i look down and see an extremly fat stomach and get disgusted with myself. it makes me feel less than, and that's not a good feeling.

i shouldn't judge my self-worth based on my body shape, so in addition to working on my physical health, i am also working on my mental health.

i want to say that i am going to make a clean start, but there's a voice in my head saying that i can't, i can't re-start because i am a failure.

however, part of me also believes that i can do this, i can do it for myself. so i am going to work on changing my negative thoughts!

[lifelovinaries]

I must say that my response is not going to be quite as gentle as lizabette's...pull out the tough skin girlie cuz here comes a little bit of tough love!.!

crud--i blew it again! i feel like such a loser!

Maybe that's part of the problem, you don't feel like a LOSER. you have to WANT to lose the weight. TRULY WANT IT.

i was stuck in the meeting for 2 hours, everybody was eating. it was too hard for me to sit there for two hours and watch everybody eat, and have the food being passed all around me.

did you take any MF meals to the meeting with you? A bar and water at least? This should have been key. Although pizza may be a weakness, if you at least had a bar to munch on and lots of water to drink, it would have chased away any physical hunger. The mental craving is up to you.

i finally caved and ate pizza...and from there i just dug myself deeper and deeper. next i started eating chocolate, i told myself, since i already blew it, i might as well enjoy it!

I think maybe you need to go back and read thru your original post about restarting.

and now 3 days later, i am still off of medifast and feeling stuck, like i will never get back on track. i feel like i can't do it! i really thought this last time around i would make it. now i feel so disappointed in myself!

i want to start again, but feel scared of failure, scared i won't be successful, and scared i just won't be able to do it. i really doubt myself right now.

this sucks feeling this way.

it's not about feeling disappointed in yourself. Maybe you need to try reveling in the fact that you came back to this plan for a reason. What reason was that? TO LOSE WEIGHT! Pizza in meetings, right at this point, is not in line with your weightloss intentions. You have to stick to that, NO MATTER WHAT other people around you are doing. It has been said time and time again in the forum that restarting is much harder than remaining compliant. Unfortunately you are finding this out right now. But remember...failure is not an option, restarting is!

i also noticed that i become weak when i am stressed. i eat to deal with my stress. work has been real busy, and once i already blew it, i would graze on chocolate all day. i work for cps, which i love the happy side of helping the children and seeing their lives improve.

if you have identified one of your weaknesses and you realize that you are a stress eater, you need to pay more attention to your eating in stressful times. When you feel the urge to eat and you realize that it is not because of physical hunger, take a few seconds before reaching for that snack and ask yourself "why am i about to eat this off plan item?" Identify the stress, address it directly; in turn, make a different choice in foods. We can't avoid stress in our lives but we can avoid overeating. Once you have made the correlation between the two, it can be handled. It is those that do not make the stress/bad food choice connection that continue to follow that same path. You have the opportunity here to choose a different path.

i am asking myself, can i do this again? and if i can, how do i do it?

i don't know how to re-start again!!!

Yes, you can do this again. How? by drinking a shake.

I know these words may sound harsh to you (and some others out there too) but you came here wanting to start again. In your original post, you received MANY comments and wonderful suggestions. It was a great thread that became a STICKY. What i suggest to you is that you go back and read it, then read it again, then read it 10 more times. However many times it takes. We can be here to support you through ups and downs, but we can't sit in meetings with you or walk you thru everyday life. You have to want it MENTALLY, which is something that the people on this forum can not do for you. We can cheer you on with losses, offer encouraging words if you fall off but we can't restart for you, you have to want it for YOURSELF. You have already lost weight on the program, so you know it works. Ride with that. I have said to many people, the method i use is taking it hour by hour.

This post seems as if you are reaching out to us to tell you how to restart. How to not feel like a failure. You can keep restarting as many times as it takes. You only fail when you stop trying, so pull yourself up by your boot straps, say "I CAN DO THIS" and go have a shake. Sweetie, YOU CAN DO THIS. We all can. you are no different than anyone else here. I have been thru it so please know that i am speaking from experience, not any by the book, scientific, psychological BS. Good luck with your restart. I know that i may be blasted for sounding "mean" but it is what it is. My intention is not to hurt your feelings in ANY way. Sometimes, we all need a wake up call. You needed someone to tell you that you could do this. Well i'm here to tell you than you CAN do this. You just have to want it for yourself. Put your mind to it and you can do ANYTHING, including MF. I think it's Lucy (sorry if i am wrong) that has as part of her profile "DISCIPLINE IS THE ART OF CHOOSING BETWEEN WHAT YOU WANT NOW AND WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST" , dedefwd has DECIDE, COMMIT, SUCCEED. these are just a couple that come to mind. Sometimes i have to think these sayings on a daily basis. WHATEVER WORKS! Try applying this to your MFing. Next time you want to reach for pizza think of the above two sayings. it takes discipline. decide to lose the weight, commit to losing weight, succeed at losing weight. Losing weight is 90% mental. If you handle that part, MF takes care of the rest, effortlessly. Whew! i now step off of my soapbox (sorry) <img src="http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_2_205.gif" alt="SmileyCentral.com" border="0"><img border="0" src="http://plugin.smileycentral.com/http%253A%252F%252Fimgfarm%252Ecom%252Fimages%252Fnocache%252Ftr%252Ffw%252Fsmiley%252Fsocial%252Egif%253Fi%253D4%252F4_2_205/image.gif"> and we return to our regularly scheduled program... Girl, after all this, i need a drink! Goin to have a shot of water!

[lifelovinaries]

thanks liz, it feels better knowing that i am not alone! it is nice to have this support.

i am struggling...i feel so fat! i look down and see an extremly fat stomach and get disgusted with myself. it makes me feel less than, and that's not a good feeling.

i shouldn't judge my self-worth based on my body shape, so in addition to working on my physical health, i am also working on my mental health.

i want to say that i am going to make a clean start, but there's a voice in my head saying that i can't, i can't re-start because i am a failure.

however, part of me also believes that i can do this, i can do it for myself. so i am going to work on changing my negative thoughts!

don't you EVER feel like you are in this alone! We are all here for the same purpose, doing the same thing. Many of us suffer from poor body image. I cringe at my belly too but that's why i choose to lose the weight so i don't have to cringe as hard (that's me accepting the fact that i may not ever have a six-pack even tho that is my goal). Like i said above, it is majority mental. You HAVE to keep a positive attitude... you know, the when life gives you lemons...make lemonade thing? You are not a failure until you stop trying. Keep restarting and restarting and restarting until it finally clicks. I'm staying in behind you girlie! Everytime you decide to take a bit of pizza, just imagine my big a$$ sitting on your shoulder (that would make you lop-sided).

[bikipatra]

Can't say much that Ovary Chick didn't cover. To reiterate, you start over by having that first supplement. Then have another one in 2.5 to 3 hours. You can do anything for 2.5 hours, right? Especially if you can drink all the water you are supposed to, have some tea, coffee, Crystal Light, take a walk, pray, have some more water, go to the bathroom at work even if you don't need to go-just wash your hands. Do things to get back into control. You keep trying to think yourself into right action. That isn't the way it works in my experience on Medifast and my 12 step program. We act our way into right thinking. You have that successful day and your thoughts change, you don't feel like this is so impossible-then one day at a time, you start putting days together, and that scale starts moving and those negative thoughts continue to dissipate. Just make a committment to yourself that you aren't going to have an off-program bite unless your ass falls off. And if it does, pick it up and have a shake and some water.

[Tawanda]

Wow!!! OC and Biki, great posts with lots of encouragement along with a bit of tough love and how-to do it, tossed in the mix. I'm going to pretend this was aimed at me also as I needed the nudge and kick in the pants to 'get it done'.

CAJ---you CAN do this!!! Starting right this second (whenever you are reading the posts above). Ultimately it is up to each of us--you've done it before and you can do it again.....you have the strength, you just need to find the true 'want to do it' within yourself. No more excuses, no more partial attempts......decide, commit and succeed.

[Out*With*The*Old]

Hello!!

I hope you're feeling better - as in more empowered - and I hope you are back on the program! I read your post yesterday but I was too sick to reply. Then while reading a book last night (You can't afford the luxury of a negative thought by Peter McWilliams - my FAV book ever) I came across two things that JUMPED out at me and reminded me of you. So today I am back to share them:

First a thought from the book:

IF YOU'RE NOT ACTIVELY INVOLVED IN GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, YOU DON'T REALLY WANT IT

WOW - that one really hits hard, huh?

The second is a quote:

THERE IS NO FAILURE EXCEPT IN NO LONGER TRYING - - ELBERT HUBBARD

I hope you find hope, inspiration and the will to get back on plan! Good luck to you, you can do it!

[rodeomom]

Erica hit the nails on the heads. If you want the program to work you have to do your part. Did you make your list of the reasons you hate being fat? What about a list of what you will do once you are thin? Doing those lists will help you through the tough times. Remember what brought you to the point of buying the MF foods to start with. Remember the financial investment you made. If you were worth that investment then, than you ARE worth it NOW! Like Biki said 2.5 - 3 hours at a time. Get your mind in the right place and fight to keep it there!

[Out*With*The*Old]

Please post and let us know all is well and that we didn't scare ya off with all of our tough love and heartfelt comments!!!!!

[lifelovinaries]

i, too, am dropping in to see how your day went today. Didn't want to push you away, just wanted you to see the "other side" of things. Hope all is well in your MF journey and if not, the night is NOT over!

[DogMa]

What everyone else said. But please, you also have to be NICER to yourself. If a friend (or heck, if a stranger or even one of the kids you help) came to you at 185 pounds and said, "I'm fat, I'm ugly and I'm worthless and a loser because I'm fat and ugly. I want to lose weight but I can't," what would you say? Would you agree with her, and tell her to just give up and go live in a hole? Or would you point out all her good qualities and tell her why she's NOT worthless? Would you tell her what a good and kind person she is, and how smart she is, and how caring? Would you tell her that one slip doesn't make her a failure, and that of COURSE she can lose the weight, but that even if she NEVER loses it, she's still not a loser and she's still a wonderful person?

Try telling yourSELF all that. I think if you try loving yourself a little more and preparing for times of stress and temptation (and finding new ways to deal with stress and other emotions), you'll find that sticking to the program and losing the weight is much easier.

And please, even if you've been struggling since you wrote the initial post and still haven't made it back onto the program, don't give up. Would you give up on a friend? Would you give up on an overweight child you were trying to help? So why would you ever think of giving up on yourself?

[carolannjeanette]

I tried to stay complient the first few days after my first journal post. I tried to come to this forum, but my computer was acting funny and said the web site was not available or something like that.

I then gave up completely after a few days. I don't want to beat myself for giving up. The holidays were approaching and this was my first Christmas without my dad, he passed away last year three days after Christmas. So with the holidays and the approaching one year anniversary of my father's death, I had my emotional plate full! I told myself it was okay to eat and not to try to do MF until I get through these tough times.

I am facing the hardest part right now, starting MF. Yes, it is easier to stay on MF than it is to start MF. I do know that once I get through the first two weeks it is so much easier for me. I will be reminding myself of this. I am starting tomorrow. I have tons of junk food in my house right that I am going to throw out tonight. I feel a bit defeated because I have thrown out my junk food tons of time to just wind up back at the store within the first few days buying more junk food. And what I mean by junk food is suger, especailly chocolate. I don't normally eat fried foods and eat chips and stuff, my weight gain is primarily from eating sugar!

Although I feel defeated and partially hopeless, I have learned from past experiences that there is hope, so I am hanging on to that little bit of hope I have.

I actually just got up and threw out all of the junk food in my house! Phew! It's offically decided, I am starting tomorrow! I don't go back to work until Wednesday, therefore my first three days, which are the ultimate hardest for me, I will be at home, and I am going to stay at home all day. That way I am in a safe, junk food free environment. Come Wednesday, I will feel much stronger on MF and it will be easier to face all the candy at work. I wonder if anybody else works in an office and knows all the desks that have those little candy dishes on them. I know who all has candy, and what types of candy the person usually has!

I am also relieved that I am going to get accupunture on Monday. Accupunture is what definately helped me the last time. They said my digestive system is out of balance. Anyways, I just know that after I get acupucture, I do not crave sugar for the next couple of days!

It's a bit scary loosing weight. I have used my weight as an excuse to not fully participate in life. Once I loose the weight, what will be my excuse to isolate? Why am I so scared?

I have had an active life before and loved it and was real happy, so why am I scared? That baffles me.

I actually wanted to put off starting until Tuesday, the day after acupucture. But I sat down and read all the replies I received in this forum and decided to get with it now. The longer I put it off, the longer I stay stuck in this rut. Plus, I have been letting my 18 month old son have small bites of the junk food while I am eating it. That is not good. I know his best chance of being healthy is having a positive healthy role model. If I keep feeding him tid bits of my junky food, he will also become obeese, and I don't want an obese kid, I would feel so guilty! but it will happen if I don't take action now.

I am telling myself I can do this, I first have to get through the first 3 days, then the first 2 weeks, and the first 2 weeks, it will be smoother sailing. And I get the whole one day at a time thing, my days will be easier once I have detoxed off of sugar!

I am grateful to have this journal to vent on, and to receive such wonderful support!

[lifelovinaries]

YOU CAN DO THIS!!! It's all a state of mind. You have decided to do it, so commit to doing it. Nothing but success is around your corner, if you commit. We all have our personal demons that we fight with. It is up to the individual to figure out from where you have to draw your strength. Every time you want to eat something off plan, think of the look in your son's innocent eyes, think of how you will feel being able to show him a healthy way of life and eating. I'm glad to see you back, i thought you got scared away for a minute there. Lean on us for support, we (especially not me) are not perfect but we keep trying. Just think, your father may no longer be with you but he would want nothing but the best of health for you. YOU CAN DO THIS!

[Out*With*The*Old]

Good luck on your journey and remember you can do it! Try not to look at it as 2 weeks or 3 days etc but 3 hours at a time. You can do anything for three hours, right??

I'm glad you threw out the junk food - good for you!!! Starting tomorrow is an awesome win too so you can get into Ketosis before you go back to work. Take some sugar free gum with you and chew it when you want to visit the candy dish! You CAN do it!

I so know what you mean about your child. I have SUCH a sweet tooth that I wanted to do my best to help my daughter develop tastes for good and normal food. She didn't have sweet for the first - probably 3 years of her life except for a taste of birthday cake on her birthday's that she never really ate. Instead I gave her veggie crackers and sweet potato crisps, raisins that we called raisin cookies (LOL). The closest thing to sweets that she had was animal crackers. My friends and family made fun of me but today she is 7 and grabs fruit from our fruit bowl instead of junk food. When we were at a Christmas party where there were tables of junk food and fruit she looked at me and said 'Mommy, is it OK if I just have fruit?'. Now, I wish I could say I SHOWED her these habits - I didn't. But I am doing better now and she did develop tastes based on what I fed her.

Good luck - good luck - good luck! Just remember you can do it!!!!!!!!