The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Carrie]

I am not completely controlled by food anymore. I still have my moments but more often than not I am the one in control now. That got me thinking about before - when I was not in control - when food ran my life. It made me think of an alcoholic drinking his 17th beer of the day, telling someone 'I can stop anytime I want.'

We had a post here a few months ago - I think it's in 'The Elevator' now - that was a great one - we all shared ways in which we had snuck food - hidden our problem. I started thinking about that again today - all the ways I was totally out of control with my food. That thread was long enough ago that it's probably good to re-visit it, for our newbies, and the old-timers too. It really illustrates just how far we have come - and how far we have to go, and is a good reminder of where we don't want to return to.

As a kid.......
.......I'd wind up with a box of those chocolate crisp bars to sell for band - they were $.50 each. I always ate my whole box and then had to figure out how to pay for them. (Usually by lifting money from Mom's purse.)

.......I stole old coins from my Dad's dresser and bought ice cream with them

.......at church camp I would take $20-$40 bucks spending money and spend it ALL on candy

.......I'd sneak into the kitchen to snag cake and candy

....... before I left Gramma's house I'd load up a baggie with candy - Gram thought it was cute

....... I stole all the good candy out of my sisters halloween pail


As an adult......

........ at the age of 17 I got very mad at my boyfriend and actually thought 'I'm so mad I want a hot fudge sundae!'

......... I've gone through drive-throughs hundreds and hundreds of times, eating in the parking lot and tossing the evidence so no one would know.

......... I've hidden packages of snacks so 1) I wouldn't have to share and 2) no one would know I had it.

......... I've called to place a take out order and pretended there was someone else in the house - shouting out 'Did you want anything for dessert?' So it would be 'clear' to the person on the phone that the food I was ordering was for more than one person

......... Last year while staying at a friends parents house for a wedding - I ate like a bird during the day - then at night snuck into the kitchen and raided the cupboards in the dark

......... Once completely out of control emotionally I consumed an entire loaf of banana nut bread - even though towards the end I was in pain physically and on the verge of gagging - I just kept stuffing it in

........ traveling was a major excuse to eat - if it was a road trip I'd get lots of snacks for the road. Staying in a hotel - I'd go to the grocery and load up. Order anything at the restaurant cause I'm on vacation - like I didn't do that every day. (last month at a conference I stayed true to the program and lost over 5 pounds that week)

....... Last Christmas someone delivered a huge platter of gourmet cookies to the office. I grabbed several right away and snuck back a couple more times for even more - wrapped up my stash and took it home to eat in secret

Some of this is funny, but mostly reading over it, it makes me sad. I still have my days when food wins - but most of the time now I control what goes in my mouth. Sometimes frankly, I really really miss the old way. But whatever solace I believed I was getting - I will not delude myself into thinking I can return to.

Carrie

[MomJackieLee]

So proud for you. I'm beginning to feel the same way. I still have days when I'd like something sweet but now I have a peanut butter MF bar or the oatmeal with a packet of equal. Compared to around Christmas time when I would bake up a package of break & bake cookies "for the family" and end up eating about 3/4 of the entire batch by myself. When I look back I can't believe I did that. And I've done it for most of the past 10 years. So now I just forgo buying those in the grocery. They aren't good for my family either... Now my son snacks on granola bars, sugar free pudding & jello, turkey & cheese. And he is healthier, also.

[Landylue]

Great posts, ladies, and a very attention-getting thread subject line.

Whew! If I had a nickel for all the times I've told myself, "Just one little bite. . ." or "I'm buying this bag of cookies for the kids." or "I'll start that diet tomorrow--Monday--on the 1st--right after Christmas." or "Just this once." or "One won't hurt."

I for one CAN'T stop anytime I want, at least not yet.

Not just yet.

Landylue

[SusannaRosannaDanna]

Great post!
I've done some of those things--and it is strange, isn't it? You look at it and realize that it isn't even logical and you can't imagine what your motivation may have been! But in the heat of the moment, you (I should say *I*) are just driven in a mad frenzy, and logical thought is nowhere in the picture.
Some of my food sins --just a few--LOL--

...we had family staying here once who brought boxes and BAGS of snack foods in for their children to have while they stayed here--we had no children at the time. For some reason, I became obsessed with a can of Slim Jims they left sitting on the counter allt he time! I was emabrrased to ASK for one so I'd filch them. We'd go out and eat an enormous pasta meal, I'd be stuffed, but when we got home, I'd sneak in there and devour a Slim Jim. I probably ate 10 in a day and a half. A few days after they left I went and bought my own can and ate it all in one day!

....I used to stop at a gas station when I got off of work and buy a burrito or cheeseburger and chips or a honeybun, or some combination of those...I'd eat them in the car, go home, and have dinner with my hubby just like always.

I tend to get fixated on certain foods, and then abandon them..I once ate 18 banana popscicles in one day, but I've had a bag of them in the freezer for three months now and haven't even had ONE.