The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Gwenski]

Okay people, here I am and I don't know what to do.

I have under 40 lbs to loose. Seriously, I cannot tell you if the last time I had so little to loose was in the 80's or 90's but it was FOREVER ago. Instead of jumping for joy and shouting if from the rooftops, I am freaking out about it and beginning to stray and wander off my dilligent MF routine. It is like shooting myself in the feet and I feel pretty powerless to stop right now.

I knew the ending was going to be the hardest part of all this combined with the transition right behind but honestly every single day is pretty much like a struggle right now. Doesn't help that I have been on and off sick and way behind at work BUT why now is it suddenly oh so overwhelming. Am I just thinking too far ahead or what?

I think and know I can do this but all of a sudden that 3 year old Weight Watchers frozen pizza was starting to look good --- HELLO - that is SO wrong. In the past 30 days I have gone through my kitchen with the BIG green garbage bags and plundered the loot that after 8 months is starting to look good. I was a pilar of strength and could thwart any temptation and now my defenses are on the fritz and I feel like I am lost in a fog.

Here's the ultra whiney part --- I can actually get into a size 12 (began in a 28 and most comfy in a 14 now) -- the 12's aren't comfortable to wear in public yet but I can button and zip them up and they are SO cute.

Doubting myself now isn't making a whole lot of sense all of a sudden and well, who here has experienced something similar to help me get my head out of my bum.

Please tell me that I am not alone in my mentalness here!!!!!

Thanks!

[falisamarie]

Gwenski

I am no where near where you are but wanted to remind you that you are an inspiration you are to all of us. You are a strong woman and can do this! I just know you will reach your goal.

Lisa

[Unca_Tim]

Hi Gwenski,
Have you talked to Nancy lately?

[SueInSLO]

Hi Gwenski!!

I CAN imagine what you're feeling, even with me having to lose so much more to get to goal.

I have self doubts off and on. I have succeeded before and failed before. More failures than successes obviously. I think what you're feeling is probably very normal.

Our minds are a funny thing and they like to play tricks on us. But, with MF and the support here and from others I think THIS TIME WE CAN GO ALL THE WAY! I know I can and I know you can too. Heck, look how far you've come already. You're an inspiration to so many of us my friend. Stick with it, get the rest off and show us how to do it the right way!!

Hugs to you!
Sue

[Serendipity]

Gwenski,

You've taken two big steps in beating this "stinkin' thinkin". First you came here where we all understand and care so much about you and second, you cleaned out the cupboards.

Now, you need to work on what's going on in that head of yours. A big part of getting back to the zone is to just bite the bullet and do it. No excuses. You already know that after you comply with the Medifast plan for 2-3 days faithfully, you will be in a better place. Three days, tops, is all you need to get back there.

Then when you are there, I think you really need to discover why you are sabotaging your success. I know that when I lost weight in my early 30's, it was very scary. No fat to hide behind. It was unknown territory and I felt very unsafe. I had trouble relating to people without the mask, men whistled at me, other peoples husbands flirted.....I just didn't know how to deal with all of it. I think that part of my failure was fear of having to deal with these things straight on. I mean, being fat was so safe for me and it was safe for my husband, too. He didn't have to worry about other men looking my way. I/we have worked through all of that and granted, it's taken me a long time to realize that I had everything I needed to cope, if only.....if only......well, no going back, right?

Your reasons might be different, but there is a reason and you need to find it. The great news is that you didn't regain all of your weight and wait for 15 years to call a halt to the insanity. You are here, that's just so wonderful. Stay here, call your health advisor......do whatever it takes so that you won't have the regrets later.

We love you here, Gwenski, and we want you to reach that goal!

[ljm498]

Gwenski, I don't know what it is about getting close to goal but I went through what you are describing myself when I hit 25 to lose. For a while I was having major self doubts, I was scared and had lots of mental issues going on about getting to goal. I think, for me anyway, it had a lot to do with actually being scared of getting to my goal and actually succeeding for once in my life with weight loss. How does one handle success when they've never really dealt with it before (speaking for myself of course). So many things for me to think about like maintaining, eating right, consistent exercise, how to deal with emotions and how to deal with more attention. Which I hate by the way, I'm very much an introvert. But, there's lots to think about and I think sometimes it can all be so overwhelming that we may subconsciously shoot ourselves in the foot. I'm not sure really how I got myself past it but I did. I think I just said to myself that not doing this is not an option so I dealt with the emotions and just keep plugging away. But like someone else said, it all comes down to changing the "stinkin thinkin" and use positive self talk and learn to actually believe the positive self talk.

Don't know if any of this pertains to you, if not apologize for rambling! But hang in there and keep pressing on!

[stelar]

Hi Gwenski! You've gotten some awesome support here (like that's a surprise ) You're doing so VERY well & that's a GOOD thing. That's why your started this program, to lose the weight. Don't quit, you'll regret it, you know you will. Give this success to yourself as a gift, a gift FROM you to YOU. You deserve it!

Shakin' it with you,
Stela

[Jan]

Hi Gwenski,
Just about there huh?? and now trying to sabotage yourself. Don't worry that does happen. I think it's because we have looked forward to being a certain weight for soooo long and when it's close we become frightened. What happens if it's not as great as we imagined?? Hmmmm will we really feel different??
Plus, there's the other aspect which can come into play. It's just like when you are working on a project (you are it's you ) When that project is done sometimes we have a let down. Kind of feel empty. We really don't know why because we think we should feel great -- it's done.
But now what do we put all our effort into?? We've been concentrating soo long on our project, it's taken up so much time, thought and effort that when we finish we're almost lost. It's like a part of our life closing.
Now also the fear of gaining the weight back (you won't -- we'll help)
sets in too. I know how to part with the pounds but do I really know how to maintain??
So you see -- when you get close theres a lot going on. Don't worry -- you'll make it. You'll be fine. You are a very very energetic lady. You have lots and lots of other life projects ahead. Plus, you are still needed right here on the forum to help others on their journey. Experience is a great teacher.
You're doing great -- just keep going.
jan

[Gwenski]

I am beyond humbled and touched by all of your kind words, thoughts and support.

Here I sit and am still a little wobbly but beginning to think that I can and WILL -- trying to keep moving forward and not let this become a quicksand sort of thing. Don't want to stop fighting and let it take me -- that is how I got so HUGE to begin with.

So nice to come someplace where I am understood and have some shoulders to lean and cry on ---

Thank you - thank you - thank you!

[Helen]

Amazing post and words of advise. That is the reason why I believe I havent been able to lose the rest of my weight. I kept sabatoging myself, not really gaining but not losing anymore than I already had. I think deep down inside i didnt want to succeed b/c of what it might mean. There would be nothing I could hide behind and make excuses for. Wow just what I needed (God works in the most mysterious ways) to push forward happily. Thank you for being compelled to write your fears on this post. You worded it for those of us who couldnt. And thanks for everyones wise words. This really helped me and it wasnt even my post!