The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[mellowmom]

I'm so %%^^&* at myself. It started out innocently enough. It was around 10PM Tuesday evening and I was at the grocery store. (Best time to shop...no one's there) and I realized I was hungry and I hadn't had my 5th Medifast meal...

So, it just happened that the aisle I was going down had chips on one side and soft drinks on the other. Didn't grab the chips, but there was a package, a very Large package of Steakhouse Beef Jerky that suddenly started screaming my name!!

I gave a cursory glance at the ingredients...only 80 calories, 5 carbs, 1 g of fat per serving and decided to buy it to nibble on the way home. So I nibbled, and I nibbled and I nibbled...To make a long story short, 4 servings later I made it home.

Despite my "cheating" the next morning I had dropped 1 1/2 pounds. I assumed I had gotten away clean with my little indiscretion. Well, we all know what happens when you ASS-U-ME.

Later that day, I started getting serious food cravings. Couldn't figure out why So throughtout the rest of the day I proceeded to "soothe" my cravings with the remainder of the Jerky, on top of my Medifast meals!

Oh, did I mention that each serving has 490 mg of Sodium??? And that of the 5 grams of Carbs...4 grams of it was Sugar. The ingredients read like a diabetic nightmare...After the Beef, comes Brown Sugar, Corn Syrup and Dextrose...

So I drank a ton of water hoping to flush the bad stuff out of my system. It didn't work.

This morning I woke up feeling like the Staf-Puf Marshmallow (wo)Man. I'd gained 4 pounds and am back to square one...Have to go through another 3 day cleansing period and for what???

What have I learned from all this? I learned that given a chance to sabotage myself...I will. And everyday will be a battle between the old Mellowmom and the new one. And I need to admit to myself publicly that it's not going to be easy and that I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to taking care of myself

Somehow, someway I've crossed over a bridge of sorts. One that will take me to my goal. It's not going to be easy, but it's doable. Just got to focus on becoming the best, healthiest person I can be. Got to get over the idea that I'm being "selfish" by doing this. (I know it's twisted logic, but I also know that a lot of "care givers" have weight problems.) It's against my nature to put myself first. But I've got to face it...I won't be around to help anyone else if I don't help myself.

Well.. so much for my pity party.. I'm back on track...will spend the next 3 days snapping, and barking at my family as I enter the "withdrawal" phase But I know I'll come out okay at the end.
Who'd a thunk all this heavy stuff would pour out just on account of some beef jerky?

Thanks for letting me vent and for understanding.

MM

[Dayna]

Sometimes, the only way we learn is by doing. Good for you for learning the lesson and crossing that bridge - this was just a small detour, not the end of the journey!

It's a good idea to keep a bar and/or an RTD in your purse or vehicle for situations like this; next time you pass by that jerky, and you realize you need to eat something, pull out your favorite flavor bar and laugh at all the carby foods as they fail in their attempt to lure you to the dark side!

[falisamarie]

MM

You did not blow it you had a set back! You have the right attitude so just jump back in and get with the program!

We are all here for you

Lisa

[sidrah]

Well, the bag is empty now, right? So, I wouldn't buy them anymore. Can't do much else now. But, I would keep drinking the water anyway. It can't hurt and you will have such good skin

[dede4wd]

I agree that you did not blow it, you hit a speed bump. It is over, it is done with. I totally understand that crossing a bridge comment. It is kind of an "a-ha" moment. I really think this will make you stronger!

I'm so happy that you had a learning moment. Now enjoy the next 3 days and we'll be here for you!

DeDe

[bzlife1967]

YUP!! What Dede and the others said. I keep a drink packet in my purse so if I am on the run I can buy a bottle of water, drink about half of it, pour in my medifast, shake... and whaaalaaa LUNCH!! Its a good idea to keep something "on ya" at all times, you never know when you will get caught somewhere... You went, you saw, you bought, you munched.... been there done that.. now your back on track!!

Geri

[deirdrek]

Hang in there. Many lessons to be learned. I think being on medifast teaches a lot about ourselves. We learn we grow and keep going on. Together we can do this.

By the way I live in Hollister! We might be able to connect sometime.

[Arklahoma]

MellowMom ... That was very brave & courageous of you to post. I fear that this will be my dilemma when I go back to regular food intake and also know that this will be a life-long battle for me, as well. We're right here with ya!

... What have I learned from all this? I learned that given a chance to sabotage myself...I will. And everyday will be a battle between the old Mellowmom and the new one. And I need to admit to myself publicly that it's not going to be easy and that I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to taking care of myself ...