The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[BiggerInTexas]

Thanks, Sharon!

201 lbs today! I'm on the way! The 190's are just around the corner - here I come! <go Stacey, it's your birthday, go Stacey>

Wow, the weekend went fast! Just the usual stuff: workin', laundry, cleaning house, etc. Even with the weird weekend work hours I've kept up with the workouts. I worked hard on my arms this morning - it was hard to vacuum this afternoon! My arms feel like jelly.

Just 10 days 'til booby shrinkage surgery. Gettin' a bit nervous. Excited, but nervous, too! DH is so supportive. But he's a boob man all the way and he really likes my boobs. I feel like I'm cheating him since he married the kind of body he's attracted to, and I'm changing it! I know he'll always love me, but I want to always be attractive to him. What if the surgery is great, but I keep losing weight and my boobs shrink away to nothing? Just pre-surgery jitters, I think.

[rodeomom]

Having extra large boobs can be such a strain on your body, espcially your back. You are doing what is best for you and it sounds like your hubby understands that.

[DogMa]

I had the surgery several years ago (I waited till I had lost weight, but unfortunately I gained it back shortly afterward). Mine didn't grow when I gained weight OR shrink when I lost it. I'm guessing because a lot of what they removed was fatty tissue, so the fat cells were gone.

If it helps, I think it's one of the best things I've ever done. I didn't even realize how much they were hurting my back until they were gone.

[BiggerInTexas]

Thanks for the support, Rodeo, and for sharing your experience, Dogma. It really helps to hear that you feel happy about having it done! I'm really glad you told me that you haven't seen a size change despite weight gains and losses after the procedure. That makes me feel a lot better.

I found a forum online at makemeheal.com were women talk about their surgery and post before and after pics. I would say 95% of the women on there were really happy they had it done. Even the ones that had results that weren't quite up to their expectations were still happy overall that they'd done it. Troy is so supportive, he doesn't seem even a little disappointed. I'm so lucky!

Another 2lbs down! I'm at 201.00. So close to breaking the barrier! I'd love to see 195 before the surgery. Mom is coming into town Tuesday before the surgery, and she'll stay with me 'til Sunday. Tuesday night I'll show her how to make up MF meals for me, and I'll prepare as many as I have shakers for. But I'm sure there'll be some comfort food a coupla times during recovery. Mom makes the best chicken pot pie - ever! I've got the DVR full of movies to keep me entertained. I can't imagine being off two weeks in a row. The longest vacation I've ever taken was the 10 days I took off for our honeymoon and 10 days this March when we went to Amsterdam. I feel so guilty!

[BiggerInTexas]

Speaking of time off, after the surgery I will be completely out of vacation and sick time. I'll slowly re-accrue them, but I hate having the bank completely empty. The company I work for is currently undergoing a merger with a rival cancer treatment center. We just had a meeting to go over changes to our benefits. It turns out that to ease the transition, the company that is taking us over is giving all of us 40hrs of time off! The vacation time goes into our banks Oct. 1st, so I'll only be out of time for the month of September! Definitely a silver lining to the the take-over!

[rodeomom]

My experience with the shakes is that they don't "hold" for very long. In other words they get pretty yucky pretty quickly. Make sure that your doc is Okay with you staying on the program. Even TSFL recommends that anyone going through major surgery should transition into a maintanence plan during recovery. Maybe even a 4 & 2 would be waranted. Your body will be using extra calories and nutrients to heal itself. Don't cut yourself short during this time and set yourself up for complications. Just be sure you do what the doctor reccommends!!!!

[BiggerInTexas]

The last coupla days I've really been struggling! I find myself almost ... tired, kinda. I'm tired of fighting my natural impulses or desires. I just want to eat what I want when I want. It's not that I'm hungry - I very rarely get hungry any more, and if I'm not careful I actually end up missing a meal by the end of the day. But I want to graze, I want to stuff myself until I feel full, and I want alcohol! I want pizza and Ben & Jerry's, refried beans and mac 'n cheese. And potatoes! I want baked potatoes with cheese and butter and bacon bits!

Phew, that was quite a tantrum. I'm picturing myself on the floor kicking my fists and feet and bawling. My inner child is tired of being good and is rebelling!

This is exactly what happened a year ago, and at right about the same time in the journey. I've made progress and I'm seeing the weight come off. I've lost just about the same amount that I lost last time. You'd think that since I'm seeing results, I'd be more motivated to stay on plan than ever! I'm about to break the frackin' 200 barrier! But instead I find myself wanting to slip a bite of this, just a taste of that. That's the slippery slope that took me down last time.

I'm worried that the surgery and the time off at home will contribute to a downfall. I do really well at work (when I stay out of the breakroom), and head straight to the gym after work. It's when I'm home I really get tempted. Sometimes it's from boredom, like when Troy's at work, and sometimes it's 'cause Troy is making something I want. I've put all the chips and crackers up on top of the fridge. After surgery I won't be able to lift my arms for a couple of weeks. I can already see myself standing in front of the fridge, looking up at the chips and thinking, "I'm such a b***h! I can't reach them!"

I think I need to start saying a prayer every day for that extra boost of will power. 'Cause I'm sure not finding in myself. The mature adult in me that can see the long-term benefits of staying on track is starting to fade, and the whiny little kid throwing a tantrum in me is getting a lot stronger. Damn, I sound like Sybil. I'm so whiny I'm annoying myself.

[DogMa]

It's funny, my friend at work who's on a similar program (but one run by the hospital)? Was going through the exact same thing yesterday. Her program includes sessions with a counselor (that is, an actual psychologist, not the coaches or advisers or whatever here), and I suggested she talk to her about reasons she might be self-sabotaging.

It's common with a lot of folks, and I'm not sure what you can do beyond trying to figure out WHY you're doing it, and maybe just being firm with your inner brat until the feelings pass.

But believe me, I know how you feel. It STINKS that we have to deal with this our whole lives, and we'll never be able to just eat with abandon anymore if we want to stay thin and healthy. On the other hand, other people deal with a whole lot worse, right?

[rodeomom]

Keep in mind that, as with any addiction, breaking free from food takes time and strength. I have seen your strength already. You are determined to win!! Think about it... you are willing to go through surgery to get to your goal. That is not whimping out, as you well know!! (or at least you should).

Prayer will help! God is there and He is just waiting for you to ask for His strength and guidance.

[BiggerInTexas]

Ok, I think I'm over it. I went to the gym after work and worked myself out until I'm too tired to want to eat anything. Staying busy is definitely the key! I don't know what triggered the cravings, but it's good to know ya'll are there for me, and that I CAN make it thru without cheating! Thank you all so much!

[DogMa]

Yay. Those feelings are gonna come up (heck, I'm still having 'em two years later!), so sometimes you just have to power your way through 'em. Remembering times like this, though, will help.

[BiggerInTexas]

I think really the whole episode was triggered by the realization that this isn't going to be an easy fix. Duh, I know! But I think deep down inside I thought that if I work really, really hard for a bit that I'd get what I want - right now!

I was telling Troy about it last night and I was saying that it seems like I'm working out so hard and I've been so good and the scale just baaaaarely moves - sometimes even goes backwards! With all that willpower, my belly should be flatter by now!! He just said, "Honey, how long have you been doing this?" and it just went on like a light bulb (that shoulda been on all along, of course ), "It's only been three months I've been back on MF and I've only been working out for 6 weeks." And it was in this moment I finally accepted that this was going to take time and consistency. To get what I want, I've gotta be in for the long haul.

[BiggerInTexas]

So I think that's where my tantrum came from - if I couldn't have what I wanted right now after all that hard work, I might as well eat what I want when I want. Thank God that's over! And just to teach me a little lesson, the scales are actually up 1.2 lbs today. I've been working out extra hard the past week in preparation for taking time off for the surgery, though, and I think the gain is probably due to that and TOM. And my body fat is down 2%.

[BiggerInTexas]

No losses today, just holding the line. Didn't exercise yesterday - after work I had my pre-surgery appt at the day surgery center where it'll be done. They were all so nice! The place is really nice, too. I feel really good about it. I ended up going to bed really early. I was really tired out, for some reason.

Today I won't have to opportunity to exercise either, but I'll be back on the treadmill tomorrow. After work I'm taking girlfriend Judy out for dinner and drinks (lemon water and salad for me!), since I'll miss her birthday (it's right after my surgery). Judy has a sick teenager at home, so we'll make it a quick happy hour visit. I haven't spent much time with her lately since she's been wrapped up in her son's graduation and college app process, so I'm really looking forward to catching up!

Later I'm meeting Troy to see Hellboy 2. I know I'm a geek, but I really liked the first one and I'm looking forward to the sequel! I really like the director, too. I think Melissa is going to try to meet up with us, so it'll be a fun night.

[DogMa]

Sounds nice. I liked the first one, too, although I can't say I LOVED it.

Are you having it as an outpatient? That's how I had mine, too, but I kinda wish I hadn't. They told me there'd be some "leakage," but I didn't know that meant I'd wake up with the front of my shirt covered in blood! And I just had my brother staying with me to help me, so I kinda had to take care of things on my own.

The good news is I was up and about two days later, and back at work about a week later. If you don't have 'em already, get some sports bras in a smaller size. You'll want the support, even when you're sleeping, for a little while. (My poor brother had to run out and get me some, because my friend wasn't going to be able to do it till that evening, and he could tell I was uncomfortable.)