The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[LilMsTexas]

I wish I could say that I stayed 100% compliant to our program while away but I didn't. I made 2 shakes in the morning and I had a bar in the afternoon.......but the places we had to eat were no where NEAR program compatible so I just ate small portions and said NO WAY to the deserts! I regretted more than anything the very small amounts of water that I was getting and I definitely felt yucky for that.

The Saturday morning that we left I weighed and had lost 2lbs for the week!! I was sooooooooo excited because I hadn't lost anything the week before. Of course this morning those two lbs were back BUT I hadn't gained any more and for that I was TRULY THANKFUL!! I am sure it was alllllllllllllllllllllllllll the walk walk walk walking we did and of course I didn't just go absolutely nuts on my eating like I surely would have in the past. So......hopefully those 2lbs will come right back off with some hard work and program compliance.

If you've known me from the beginning, or if you've read alot of my personal posts, you will know I was hoping to be an inspiration to my Mom to get on the program. I am afraid this has NOT been the case. I feel like I have alienated my mom more than anything. She has gained sooooooooo much weight and her diabetes is sooooo badly out of control. But she just eats and eats and eats. She keeps offering me things and then says "Oh I'm sorry...you can't have that". She really is sorry when she does it.......she isn't being smart alec or anything.....she just can't imagine the life I'm having.

Tonight we had roast and the green beans, onions, carrots, and potatoes cooked with the roast. She wanted to have MORE food. She wanted to FRY OKRA and I said that's fine but Darren and I won't have it. SHe wanted to make pinto beans and I said that's fine to make (they are my favorite vegetable in the whole world) but I won't have any. Then when she went to the store to buy the okra they were out so she bought broccoli with CHEESE!! Good lawd........I just NO MOM I CAN'T HAVE THAT!! She said "you don't eat broccoli" and I said 'Yes Mom I do, but without the cheese!" Then she said "Have you ever tried it with cheese" and I said "Yes MOm but that isn't healthy and is so fattening and I don't eat that crap anymore!!@ Now folks I felt bad after I said that, but DANG!!

I'm just so sad. My Mom is so out of shape and unhealthy and just looks and feels terrible. She is soooooooooooooooooo happy for me and is complimenting me like crazy. I know she is so proud of me and for me. I just don't want my Mom to die. I'm afraid of it every minute I look at her.

I have to stop writing now because I can't type through the tears. I will talk with you all more about this after they go home. I just wish I had enough spirit to give her to know that food isn't the only source of happiness in this world. I wish I hadn't lived so many years with that same thought in my head.

Good night dear friends,
Christi

[Mrsshrinkinglady]

Christi,
The only thing you can do for your Mom is what you are already doing,
loving her and being there for her.
She has to make her own decision to lose weight and get helathy just like you did.
My sweet hubby is also a diabetic and does not watch what he eats often enough. I also worry about him not being here for us to grow old together.
I can truly identify with your worry and fear, but only they can make that choice,all we can do is try to encourage nicely and keep on loving them whetever they choose to do.
Someday they will also get tired of being tired and not feeling well and will make the smart choice like we did.
Hang in there kiddo, you are a role model to Mom and she is indeed very proud of you, but realizes that she is not making as wise a choice as you did about her health. The day may indeed come where she will, until then we just love then with all our hearts and show them what a healthy life style means to having a much fuller and happier life.
Shrink aka Mary

[24KaratGold]

Christi, hon... you know that you can't make anybody else's decision like this for them. Every person has to come to their own moment of making the choice to lose weight or not, same as for drinking or for smoking. And you might also know that sometimes, when we aren't ready, we become more resistant to even the nicest-sounding, best-intentioned words on the topic that come from especially the people we care about.

I'm having the same feelings right now about my 16 1/2 year old son, who has gained probably 40-50 pounds this year. Two months ago in the doc's office he was 240, at about 5'6" tall, and he's gained at least 15-20 pounds since then. I ache for him, because I know how awful it is to go through life fat, and he hasn't always been this way. He's struggling with adolescence, I know, and this is one of its symptoms. And there's not a damned thing I can do about it for him -- this is a path that although we can support each other along, we all have to walk under our own power, with our own choices.

The only thing you can do is be there and be an example of how it works. I started because I saw with my own eyes how it worked for my best girl friend, and I know at least two other people who have started because they saw with their own eyes how it has worked for me. But they each made their own decisions, in their own time, to start. Your mom will see with her own eyes that it is working for you, but until she wants to make that choice all on her own, that's all you can do.

I'm sorry, hon. You give so much to us, and to others, that I wish there was something we could give to you more encouraging here. {{{{Christi}}}}

[want2Bthin]

Chrisi-

First of all I am sending you a gigantic hug! I am so sorry that you have to watch your Mom's health fail. Just continue to pray for her. You might think you didn't get through to her but I believe we plant seeds in each others lives on a daily basis. Sometimes all we can do is lead by example, which you are doing an awesome job of. Then we must pray that the Lord will do the rest for us.

I know what I am saying doesn't make it easier for you. I have a Mom who smokes like a crazy person & has the chronic cough to go with it. I just continue to pray & hope.

Christi- the way I see it is we all have to hit rock bottom before we can truely make a change in our life. I guess everyone's rock bottom time is different. Hopefully your Mom will one day soon say enough is enough & it's time I take back my health. Until then just get on your knees & pray hard. I know you are hurting. I will pray for you & your Mom.

Angelia

[kassilou]

Christi, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. It is so hard to watch others around us suffering the way we did before MF, but we cannot do it for them. We know this works, and they can see that this works by looking at us, but the desire still has to come from within them.

I feel fortunate that my mom is doing the program with me...she wasn't really into it at first, but did it mainly to support me. Now she is in onederland and is a true believer! I wish your mom would give it a try, too. Maybe in time she will. For now all you can do is keep up what you are doing and try to be an example for her. Hope for the best.

[Jan]

Christi,
I'm running like mad getting ready to go to conference tomorrow but I just wanted to tell you that I think you did a wonderful job contolling what you ate and providing an example for your mom. We had dinner with friends the other night -- they plopped huge peieces of cheddar cheese on the hamburgers before they even bar-b-qued them-- all the fat just melted right in and served home made ice cream made with pure cream. At the same time they have a 15 yar old boy who weighs 323 and they are concerned. I really think that many individuals for some reason don't get the link between our mouths and our waistlines. All we can do is provide a good example and tell them (if they ask) why we choose not to eat certain items. This gives them something to think about. I try not to use the words "i can't eat that" because we all know I could --I just choose not to. Maybe what you thought were harsh words to your mom will sink in and she'll look at food a little diffferently. Some things just take time!

[LilMsTexas]

Well everybody........Mom just came downstairs and said "Your Daddy said I should try your medifast." My Dad has never been shy about telling either one of us that we're fat and need to lose weight. Of course he never wanted to hear he was a raging alcoholic and bad smoker until he got a DWI and Congestive heart failure!! But......that's a whole different forum..... ANYWHO..........we talked for a long time and she asked questions and we looked at the products ect. We talked about her choices for product and what she might choose to start with. She detests ordering online and she doesn't even know how to use her checkcard which drives me wild.........but.........I told her I could go through my health advisor and order everything for her and just have it shipped to her house! I will do whatever it takes to help her. My biggest concern is that she needs to check her blood sugars and OFTEN and she NEVER checks it at all.....she doesn't want to know what it is of course

I'm just afraid she feels pressured into it because of me and my Dad. I WANT her to do it.........but just like you all said.......and I know it to be true.......she really has to do this on her own. But I want to encourage her to do it too. She is already on insulin AND a lot of oral medications everyday. I know it won't take long for her to be able to cut back and then possibly be OFF of it like I am.

Everybody just keep us in your thoughts and prayers that I will know the right things to say to be encouraging without being judgemental or to harsh. Let me also be a good example

Thank you all for taking the time from your own lives and family tonight to be supportive and encouraging. What on EARTH would I do without you??? I won't be finding out!!

Goodnight everybody,
Christi

[DonicaB]

Christi~~Maybe your mom will give this a try and will see some results quickly enough that it gets her excited about the program. Has she always been overweight or was there a time that she lost the weight but gained it back? I ask this because sometimes when people have lost weight and gained it back they spiral into deep, deep hole of helplessness. They feel that no matter what they do they will not be successful so why try. On the other hand, if she has always had a weight problem, she may have no clue about all of the benefits of being a healthy weight.

You are a wonderful example to her and you just keep doing what you're doing. Everyone is right, SHE has to make the decision, but there's is nothing written that you can't help nudge her along. Like you said, you would do anything. She will come around, Christi. You just have to let her work it out for herself. If you are like me, though, and I know you are..........I don't like to wait for anything.

Just keep being there for her..........and we will keep being here for you.

DonicaB

[tink]

Christi - I just want to say that I am so proud of you for being in control over your vacation. I think it is wonderful that you passed over desserts and kept yourself in check as much as you did. It is always hard in those situations but you came through with flying colors!

I was happy to hear that your mom wanted to start on the MF program but like you said in your last post if she really doesn't have her heart in it then it will be a waste of her time and money. I might sit and have a talk with her and try to see exactly what frame of mind she is in and tell her that you want her to be healthy and come off her medications like you have. However, you want her to do it because she really wants to do it and not because of pressure from others. This weight game we all have played before is just plain old hard most days. I have been there .. thinking to myself I need to drop this weight and starting up a plan all to just blow it after one slip and sabotage myself over and over. I am so happy that I have found MF and this board with all of you! I am praying for you and your family and wish your mother all the best in her efforts.

[doglover]

Christi - I am so proud of your choices while on vacation! You rock! But we all knew that anyway!

I pray for your mom's change of heart (both literally and figuratively). I feel that pain as I am trying to get my sister on the program as she is in such bad shape. But I can only be an example, answer questions and try not to alienate her. Good luck and with your support she HAS to succeed!
Donna

[joysea]

Christi~
I have been thinking about your mom since I first read your post yesterday.

How old is your mom? Is she going through menopause, yet?

I think that you have set the wheels turning in her head, now it is time for her to mull it over. (I remember all the times my ex-husband tried to get me to diet, it just made me feel worse, I lacked self- esteem and then came the depression.)

It is her decision. We all know the hurt and frustration of being obese. The worst thing you can do is pressure her IMHO. I think you handled this just right....

I will keep her in my prayers....

Joyce

[LilMsTexas]

Hi Joyce,
Wanted to answer your questions about Mom.......she is coming out of menopause now they believe.....and she is 56 and will be 57 in August. I'm going to post a picture of the two of us from our vacation. I'll send one to Unca and get him to pop it up for me.

[suzyq]

Hi Christi - I'll keep you and your mom in prayer! Hopefully if she tries this program she will realize how good it makes her feel - her blood sugars would probably stabilize and that alone would make her feel much better! But you are a great example to her - keep up the good work!

Susanne