by aquarianskye » April 10th, 2008, 1:47 pm
Well, ladies and gents, I'm back, sorta. I've been in and out of my own little funk lately. And with the way the site was the last few times I visited I figured it was just a sign to focus on what was really in my head. I've been trying to pay attention to myself more, pay attention to what's going on in my head. There has been a lot of CRAP going on in my head.
I've been wondering why it takes so long for our mind to catch up with our shrinking bodies? I've had to do some shopping lately. Not that I've really wanted to due to finances and denial over what size I may really be. Well, I went out a few months ago and got my size 16 bottoms and 14/16 tops thinking in my mind that the clothes must be miss-marked. I never said it but I thought it in my head every time I'd put those 16 capri's on.
Well, when I went out two weeks ago to get some new clothes I got another pair of size 16 jean capri's and two shirts size xl. One of my friends recently brought me an 'outgrown" (she's too small for them) pair of blue jeans size 14. I wore them on Saturday. I had them on all day. Yeah, they were snug but I had them on and I wore them.
So, again, I'm wondering what my major malfunction is that has caused me to see that 285# girl that I used to be. My brain was in denial when I was there-at 285-thinking "I'm not that BIG. I don't look that bad". So, now that I am smaller than I had been why is my brain stuck at that 285? I just don't get it? Really, I don't.
So that's my world right now. Obsessive compulsive or something...
Skye
285/233.2/170?
as of 4/8/09