The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Diana]

Clothing definitely adds scale points, especially heavy fabrics like denim.

[alpha femme]

i have a casual friend who was very supportive through my breakup. i like her a lot. the problem is, she is a feminist and very much into fat acceptance. so, she is really annoyed with my decision to lose weight.

now, my response was that if she thinks others should accept people being ok with being fat, then shouldn't she respect my decision to not be fat. but, that didn't hit home. i truly do not know what to do. i hate eliminating her from my life, because she is one of the better friends i have these days.

but i also hate mentioning that i need new pants or i've lost 25 lbs and having her tell me that the conversation bothers her and she refuses to discuss it. that bothers me. i'm doing something good for myself, and i feel like i deserve a little damn support.

it sucks.

[alpha femme]

why do i have to have a period?
it's not like i use it for anything.

sheesh.

[DogMa]

Well, heck, I think people should accept their bodies, too. But the fact is, it's healthier to be at a healthy weight. It's also the way society is, and as much as I think people shouldn't be discriminated against because of their weight, they ARE. So why should my life suffer while I wait for society to change?

And I know what you mean about the periods. I stopped having mine pretty young (around 40, and they were wonky for 10 years before that). I sure don't miss them. I wasn't planning to use my lady parts anyway.

[dede4wd]

Alex,
I had a friend that was the same way. He considered me "selling out to the man" by getting healthier. He kept making fun of me telling me I was going to gain it all back and why should I bother, I was pretty and funny and that should be all that matters. It isn't. I couldn't do my job well, I was uncomfortable on planes, I didn't want to go out because I didn't like being the biggest one in the group (including the men!) I shied away from this person, didn't cut him out completely. He noticed. Just lately (the last week or two), he's started to come back to talk to me. I told him I didn't want to be around him if he was going to just give his opinion and TRY to make me feel bad about what I was doing. He said he was proud of me and asked me if I could maybe help him. I realized he was projecting his feelings about himself onto me and his "fight the power" stuff was just a cop out because he didn't want to do anything about his situation.

I guess what I'm saying (wordily) is that maybe just keep your distance and see if she jumps on board. If she doesn't, you don't need that aggravation until you're done with this journey and cut her out until she's willing to play nice. I don't have a lot of friends to spare, I hate saying that, but your own sanity is more important!

DeDe

[alpha femme]

well, the personal life just keeps getting weirder and weirder...

so, i took people's advice and went out and bought pants that fit.
now, i used to be a size 34 (i assume, since i couldn't fit into my 32 jeans). today, i slid into a pair of 22s in the old navy dressing room, zipped and button with no problems, and looked in the mirror.

my god there's a difference. granted, my muffin tops are still there (and baggy jeans help conceal those as most of us know), but... wow.

it was like i could see my body under the fat for the first time. ever.
so, i bought 3 pairs of 22s and 2 pairs of 20s. because i am not going to stop this journey. and i think that in order to feel the me inside i have to be able to see the me that is coming through.

[dede4wd]

There's NSV's and then there is FITTING ROOM victories! That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!

DeDe

[alpha femme]

okay, i've already said it, but i repeat: why do i need a period? and it blows, because i'll start, then stop a couple of days, then start again. what it translates into is a stalled week. of course, i'm glad it's not a whole week otr. that would be a lot worse.

it would be nice if every body worked the same way. i do not cheat on mf. just like in my relationships, i'm as steady and faithful as can be-- but i still lose slowly. it seems like the people who do cheat occassionally are zipping by me on the success-o-meter. sometimes it brings me down.

i just remember that this is my body. it's the only one i get. and my body is allowed to be a little pissed and resentful towards me after the way i treated it for so long.

[alpha femme]

"I am going on a diet. From this day forward, I pledge there will be no pork chop too succulent! No donut too tasty! No pizza too laden with delicious toppings to prevent me from reaching my scientifically-determined ideal weight! As God as my witness, I’ll always be hungry again!"

--Homer Simpson

[alpha femme]

doing this isn't hard. at least, nowhere near as hard as i thought it would be. with that said, i have to admit that i am learning things about myself... and i don't like some of it.

i think i will start going to over eaters anonymous meetings if they are still being held locally. it just seems like a good place to start. i had already begun therapy, because i obviously have an addiction and other issues. no one hits 400lbs without them.

but, inside, i realize that i have been allowing myself to die a little every day through choices i have made. that both scares me and makes me very angry. i just hope i have the courage to stop it and be truly happy for the first time in my life.

[dede4wd]

Alex,

but, inside, i realize that i have been allowing myself to die a little every day through choices i have made. that both scares me and makes me very angry. i just hope i have the courage to stop it and be truly happy for the first time in my life.

This REALLY struck me. I was the SAME way! I was using my weight to "die". I lost all of my friends. That's not true, I walked away from them. They got tired of BEGGING me to get out of the house. I didn't want to be the biggest person around, I didn't want the looks I get from people, I didn't want to DEAL with any of it!

I am VERY close to getting my life back. I know this because I now look people in the eye and smile. That was the first step. I feel like I'm tiptoeing back into THE WORLD!

I know losing the weight has just been vanity...I'm the same person I always was. I'm still suffereing from crippling shyness and am scared of when I go off program that I will make poor choices, but I'm going to attack transition and maintenance with the same vigour that I did during this phase. I am the same person, but I am different. I WANT to be part of the world, I want to be in it. I'm happy to be in it! I don't know if any of this makes any sense. I just wanted you to know how your post touched me!

DeDe

[Unca_Tim]

Who needs OA, when you have the MMT forum...

Just kidding....they're a fantastic organization.

[alpha femme]

carmel made an interesting post in another section about feeling healthier. she also said that even if she didn't lose another pound she would be okay because she is finding herself. i agree that this is all about finding ourselves. frankly, that is the only way we can beat our food addictions....

but, i do believe i will be happier as i lose weight. it's true that i look at people who think they are whales at 220 and groan, because i WISH i could only be 220 right now. but i know i am happier now than when i was 400lbs. i am happier now than when i was 300. and i think weight does correlate to happiness, because as i feel and see the difference in my size, i know that i am making the positive changes.

weight destroys. weight weakens structures. weight makes it hard to fly. weight gets heavier the longer we carry it. weight makes us tired on long journeys. my weight has exhausted me. i really will be happier when it is off.

does this mean that i think weightloss will solve all of my problems? absolutely not. but i do believe that it will make me happier. the way snorkeling makes me happy. the way riding my bike and walking at night make me happy. the way dancing makes me happy. i know this, because 3 years ago i could not do these things.

weight destroys. mf is a chance to heal and thrive. even if i knew exactly who i am and what i want, i think i feel a lot better knowing i can live it without carrying hundreds of extra pounds with me.

[alpha femme]

well, i finally hit the 30lb mark. i have to admit that i was geting pretty antsy. when you have an entire person to lose, it can't some off fast enough. but, i did the math....

i lost 30lbs in 48 days. that's not so freakin' bad. i have not cheated, i am not hungry, and i feel okay. i just pray that the results will keep rolling along-- because, in reality, losing .62 lbs a day is fantastic.

my next rder should be coming in today. i finally caved and ordered banana pudding. i was afraid that the pudding would be a trigger food, but so far the chocolate has been like any other supplement-- functional and okay. banana is my favorite flavour for anything... so i hope that this ust gives me enough incentive to actually eat all of my meals. sometimes that can still be a problem.

not hungry, you know? yeah. a fat girl who isn't hungry! but that makes me hope that, in a ddition to the weight loss, the long term results will be a healthier outlook on food and its role in my life.

[Arklahoma]

... in addition to the weight loss, the long term results will be a healthier outlook on food and its role in my life.

Not a truer word could be spoken.
Keep your chin up, b/c you're doing great!!!