The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[Zinkette99]

Every day is a new day. (That's so corny isn't it?) But it's true. Taking it one day at a time is what is always best for me. Just know that going through the pain today will allow you to reap the rewards tomorrow.

And get the people along with the food out of your life that are not good for you! I think one of the hardest things I have learned this year is to do this: See people, see things, see situations for what they really are and not how you would like them to be. It's so tough.

You can do this! I am doing it with you.

[alpha femme]

well, i've decided that i am a medical miracle. i have a body that can successfully maintain nearly 300lbs on less tan 800 calories a day. they should use my dna to improve the living situaton in 3rd world countries.

no one would be starving. nope, cause we could take one person's normal caloric intake and keep 3 people morbidly obese with my genes and metabolism.

[DogMa]

Ha. I used to always say I'll be one of the only survivors when the great famine hits. Because I could last for years with no food at all, and probably still not lose weight!!

[alpha femme]

ok, well. i'm not even sure what to think of this. the scale i am using gave me two very different readings today-- consistantly. when i first got on it out of the shower, it read 281.5. so i stepped off and on a couple of times, and it was the same. then when i was not believing my eyes, it tricked me and read 285. and then read THAT number 4 more times.

so, i thought... okaaay.

i had to go to the health center on campus today, and i asked if i could "ride the scale." the nurse laughed her ass off a that and said to take off my shoes and she would weigh me. it turns out i'm 5'4.5" and their scale read 179.5. now, i have to believe that the industrial medical scale is accurate. but, i'm a git. so, i went to another station (with a different scale) and weighed myself again. 279.5.

so, at this point, i am A- happy because i weighed myself on those scales 5/10 and was 300; B- annoyed that my home scale fluctuates so much.
so, i did what any other weight-obsessed mf-er would do....

i went to wal-mart and bought a body fat scale. when i got it home, i tried it out (just the weight part for now) and it read 281. this might be accurate, because it was later in the afternoon, and i'm a bit dehydrated. it also has water % measurement-- although i know these numbers are just basic guides, not as accurate as at the doctor's office.

so, i guess the upside is that i have lost more than i thought.

[alpha femme]

been pretty down yesterday and today. my problem is that when i'm depressed i don't eat. the upshot is i'm officially 279.5. the downside is that i can only force down 2 or 3 supplements a day... and today i was so anxious one almost came back up.

i so never thought this would be my life.

[alpha femme]

weighed this morning. 277.5. after i drank a shake and some water, it was 179, so i'll stick with that number. i'll try to force all supplements down today, but it's hard.

[SharonR]

alright girl are you 179 or 279? hehe....

I always tell my hubby that, oh I was 191 today and he's like WOW really? You lost a 100 pounds! lol

I know how you feel about beeing depressed that you can't eat...it's very normal so I hear...but still very hard.

hang in there...

[alpha femme]

lol, typo. maybe wishful thinking, huh?

[SharonR]

Oh I just realized you should be in the 20# club with me!!

Hey UNCA, you gonna make this happen?

[alpha femme]

well, i weighed myself in jeans and a t-shirt this afternoon, and the scale said 277.5. so, having had that number a couple days in a row, i claim it as mine!

[sidrah]

Hi
It sounds like you have a lot of stuff on your mind, but that is a good thing sometimes. You are thinking about things and not letting tem just sit and stew. People say that it takes time and I am sure they are right, but the road to the end sucks sometimes.

The way I figure it, there's problems all along the way, but when I finally figure out how to solve them, I can already have lost all the weight. I read your first day note and I must say, same age, same thoughts on where to go and what to do. You, my friend, haev done so much better than I have, so add that to your growing list of accomplishments.

You're doing so well, don't stop now. Maybe when you cna't eat anything else, you can drink some hot chocolate or just make a juice or something quick with just the minimal water added in. We don't want you getting dizzy or anything cause you're not getting enough in.

Have a great day!

[alpha femme]

thanks for the support... all of you.

this is probably the most painful time of my life. i know i am using mf as an additional coping mechanism, but i think it's better than just using bad foods or alcohol. to be honest, the reason i haven't been drinking (and god knows i have reason to drink) is mf. i feel like if i can heal my heart and self and body -- all at the same time -- i might actually manage to walk away from this period.

i know it puts too much importance on certain areas, but i really do not know how else to cope. i worry about so much. i am conflcted about so much. sometimes micro-managing my weight allows me to feel like i do have some control.

yeah, i'll deal with that eating disorder when i get to it. because, really, i wouldn't be here if i didn't have one.

[dede4wd]

sometimes micro-managing my weight allows me to feel like i do have some control.

Alex, I totally know what you mean. People keep asking me how I've not cheated at all during the last NEARLY four months. It's hard to put into words that this MF thing and what I put in my body is the ONLY thing I have control of in my out-of-control world. My family is in ruins, my job is insane, I have no social life, few friends, THIS is what I can control. Just having one thing by a string is making the other loose ends more manageable for me!

Hang in there, post if you need us and I'm very proud of you!

DeDe

[alpha femme]

it's amazing how much you get it, dede.

i wish you lived closer-- i'd buy you a banana shake.

[alpha femme]

i've noticed an odd phenomenon. after i shower, when i weigh myself... i'm always lighter. what could it be? could it be...

no clothes?!

i weigh myself in jeans and a t-shirt most of the time. wouldn't think that those pieces of cloth could be so heavy... but after showering, i was 274. three times in a row.

wow.