The MakeMeThinner Support Forum

[DogMa]

Sigh. Another one that came out after I was gone. Oh, well.

And yep, I went to the last regular-season game against Dallas, when the Ducks clinched their playoff spot - and my man, Teemu, scored the winning goal. In an OT shootout, as I recall. Sadly, it was the only game I saw all year, but still. It was SO nice to be back there. (I stayed in a place across from Disneyland and my friend and I went to the parks the next day.)

I was hoping to be in the area again this month for my cousin's 50th bday party, but instead he's having a "reverse surprise party" this weekend in Austin (he surprised everyone ELSE with the invitation).

[Karli]

Hey, Alex, Hope you're rockin' the day ! Cheers !

[alpha femme]

today, i had a third interview for a tenure position... and it was ugly. U.G.L.Y. ugly. these positions come around about as often as a prom dress in prison. i had a 1-in-3 chance, and i blew it.

well, i'm not sure if i blew it or if i was already not wanted, but i felt awful, either way. i've never had an interview where the person talking to me wouldn't even look up at me when they asked a question. this essentially means that my academic career at this location is over. i guess that will make my unexpected 2 month vacation that starts in 4 weeks go nice and painfully slow.

okay. just sharing.

[DogMa]

Oh, Alex, I'm sorry. Are you sure that's just not the interviewer's style? Some people are just uncomfortable with face-to-face communication, of course.

[alpha femme]

no... while it felt like good cop, bad cop. the bad cop doesn't usually come off this, uh, arrogant and rude. at least, not during an interview for a job, rather than a felony. the message was pretty clear.

[Karli]

Hi Alex, that does sound pretty sucky !! My Dad has gone through loads of interviews, and there were a few like the one you described above. I think that in most cases, it happens as a result of them basically having made up their mind already, which has less to do with YOU (though I know that doesn't help really), and more to do with them and politics. Still very sucky for you either way, to have had that kind of experience. Then again, who knows for sure -- maybe you will still actually get it ? I don't really understand how tenure works though, why does it mean that your career there is essentially over ? Is that mainly your choice if you don't get it ? I am just curious.

Anyway, there will be something else if this doesn't work out.

[alpha femme]

tenure is a tricky thing. the reason it means my career at that school is over is because the department is not the deciding vote. it will always be the president. once he decides you aren't a fit, it will not change. no matter how much the people who work with you want you there, ultimately, the decision belongs to a suit. it's okay. my other campuses love me-- they just aren't hiring any time soon.

[alpha femme]

you know, i think i avoided putting my ticker up because of shame. i worked really hard to drop the weight i lost. i was working out regularly and walking or running daily. i got mono, i slipped into old habits, and i was so exhausted that i was like a veal for 16 months. but... you know what? it happened. it's over.

my head is out of the sand, and i like who i am, regardless of weight. of course, i would prefer to fit in my clothes... so....

yeah. this is all about me tracking my progress. bring it!

[Karli]

Alex, You did indeed work very hard to get the weight off that you did, and though the exact weight loss itself didn't stick, you will never, ever forget what it was like to have that mentality and to have had that kind of success. That is really important ! And, actually, having some sense of the disappointment it can be to gain some back is an extremely valuable factor to future success, too ! I am truly not just trying to put some kind of positive spin on the circumstances, but these are real lessons that come with having lasting success in anything !

We are not just working to be skinnier versions of a fat self, but rather we are working on the entire being that we are, and that is a whole different animal. You are not the same person you were when you lost the weight, and you are not the same person you were when you got mono, and you are not even the same person you were right before you got yourself back on program, and I think that's how it's supposed to be ! There simply has to be some kind of metamorphosis involved, otherwise it's just not going to stick. So, what's the point of feeling shame because of what others might be thinking about a person you just are NOT ? I'm sure you have already beat yourself up enough for a whole crowd of nay-sayers (I would even venture a guess that guilt and shame have been ingredients in keeping you from nipping it in the bud earlier, too !) ! You are exactly whomever you are NOW, and you don't have to carry around a huge bag of guilt (= pooh) to be you ! I suspect that *many* an eating 'situation' for *many* a person has something to do with baggage and guilt ! No good to feed that monster ! So, yeah, bring it !

Okay, you can always tell me to shut up . Sometimes I get a little passionate about things ... haha. You are a very smart woman whom very obviously works very hard for things, and I know I am not saying anything you don't already know ! I am not trying to act like a coach, but rather a team mate who is rooting for you all the way .

[alpha femme]

c'mere so i can hit on you, karli!

i upgraded my season seats today! now i have four tickets, and they're closer to the ice in every way. i also weighed in a couple pounds less than last week, so i should only need one for myself by october!

[DogMa]

Season tickets? Closer to the ice? OK, when I can come for a visit??? Although I'd rather come later in the season, when they actually start winning some games.

And ... what Karli said, Alex. You did it before, you can do it again, and you're far from alone in gaining back weight. We've ALL been there.

Too bad you can't teach here. We just got a $100 million donation from a former governor, although I don't know what they'll spend the money on. I'm sure some of it will go to new faculty, though.

[nickieluv]

That interview sounds like the worst experience - I'm sorry you had to go through that. I agree with what Karli said, though, that it probably just meant their minds were made up before you walked in the door because of politics or nepotism or something.

Yay for the pounds lost, I know you'll be kicking more of them to the door day after day. Kick the shame out to the curb, too - no shame here, just drive and determination!!

[alpha femme]

i'm so thinking about moving out of state. i just bought a condo here, though, and i can't rent it for another year and a half. then again... who's ever been successful in telling me what to do?

sometimes i dance in public. music, no music... whatever. a few years ago, i would have died first.

[nickieluv]

I am not ready to dance in public and I don't know that I ever will be - not without my daughters as props, anyway. It seems to represent such freedom and peace and happiness - I'm glad that you're in that place, at least from time to time.

[DogMa]

Yeah, I dance plenty in private, but not so much where people can see me. Not for any weight reasons; I just feel so uncoordinated.

So where out of state would you go? Texas is nice ... if you like heat. And cheap houses. And flatness, but with big trees.